Relationship Repair

[janicefry]

Hi!

My name is Jan and I am among other things an alcoholic. I am looking for any advise on repairing broken relationships with my daughters 28, 17 and 15.

For 2 years I abandoned them mentally and physically (jail) and the remorse and guilt is overwhelming. I have not had to deal with strong emotions sober for several years and I need a refresher course

Hugs

[Kai Stevens]

I'm Kai, grateful alcoholic.

My sober date is March 21, 2004. At a little over 2 1/2 yrs I am still working on repairing relations with my children. My sons are 17 and 15, and my daughter is 12. I burned up a lot of sorry's and promises with them for a lot of years, so I understand that it is going to take some time to rebuild trust with them.

I have gone to each of my children, individually and made my amends. I let them know that the things I've said and done, and the times I was not there for them was wrong. I made no excuses. I made no promises, only that I am very sincerely working on staying sober one day at a time. Now, I just have to focus on my sobriety and doing the next right thing.

Forgiving myself was the hardest part. I put a lot of effort and time into beating myself up for the first several months. Then a friend from AA told me that it was a pretty selfish thing to do. Mostly it all comes down to this:

I CANNOT change the past.
I would if I could.
I would do better, given the chance to do it all over.
I can only choose to do better today.
I can only choose to look into myself and change those things about myself that harm other people and myself.

Yesterday is a memory,
Tomorrow is a fantasy,
Today is a gift, that's why it is called the PRESENT.

Love yourself. Forgive yourself. God does.

Love ya later. kai