Dropping the Armor - Step 6

[janbear]

Now we're really ready to clean house. We've identified the nature of our wrongs. We've shared that inventory with God, ourselves and another human being. And the decks are cleared for us to take the action that proves even to ourselves our willingness to proceed. Now that we've uncovered and discovered, we're ready to discard.

But, this is where we run into a whole new issue-the startling realization that we treasure some of our defects of character! They've been a part of us for so long, and they've served our purposes in so many ways that dropping the familiar armor that has protected us from the onslaught of other people's criticism feels much like standing naked in school. In the past, some of us have operated on the theory that a strong offense is the best defense. It's hard to let of of that posture when we're feeling inadequate and defenseless.

Remember that the word "God" can be translated into whatever guiding energy you've chosen to embrace as your Higher Power. Be be aware also, that Step Six presupposes that you accept this power as a senior partner in your recovery process.

-Step by Step

[free2bunme]

this is where we run into a whole new issue-the startling realization that we treasure some of our defects of character! They've been a part of us for so long, and they've served our purposes in so many ways that dropping the familiar armor that has protected us from the onslaught of other people's criticism feels much like standing naked in school. In the past, some of us have operated on the theory that a strong offense is the best defense. It's hard to let of of that posture when we're feeling inadequate and defenseless.


This is so true for me ... sometimes I feel like if I let go of envy and jealousy, that I won't be motivated to get what i want. I know that this is a lie; sometimes I feel like if i let go of fear, i will be trampled on, make terrible mistakes that cannot be fixed, or otherwise be hurt beyond comprehension. i don't know that this is a lie, but i am doing the work to give my fear to God and to have faith in God rather than worrying about my own lack of power over others and over my own blind spots; sometimes I feel that if I let go of anger, intolerance and criticsm, someone who is behaving badly will not get their just deserts. Also a lie --- like that was ever my job in the first place! hah!

Thanks for letting me share :mrgreen: :42:

[clean42day]

thank you ((((jan))) for posting this and for you responses to my request. guiding a sponsee through the steps is a big responsibility and sometimes I feel that my ESH is not enough. I want to give her as much as I can from various sources....so she can get as many perspectives as she needs to help her on her journey.

step 6 and 7 are so much of where the real change and transformation of the program takes place becuase they ask us to work on our awareness of ourselves in the NOW! I didn't find it difficult to identify my character defects....after all I was pretty good at beating myself up and pulling my own covers. What I did find difficult was to be kind to myself and love myself through them with the help of God in the moment that I needed to. I stayed in the retrospect stage for quite some time and only after I had acted on one of them did I become aware of how damaging they were to me and others.

These days I catch myself much earlier...and even sometimes in the moment. There is nothing more humbling than to see myself being judgemental with a person and then....right then and there declare: 'you know what I just said to you was very judgemental and I am sorry, I will try to walk a mile in your shoes instead". or 'What I just said was not entirely true...this is the real truth'. pulling my own covers in front of someone has made me extremely vulnerable and humble....but the real reward is showing myself by actions that I am willing to be different in the moment and there is no consequence.... only more freedom from my old self. I have never had a person watch me do this with myself in front of them and say: oh what a knucklehead you are Gail. most of the time they are shocked that I could become so honest and thank me for getting "real" in front of them. I am still in the process just like everyone else is. But my biggest tool in regards to this step is to take God into every situation with me and check his guidance with a God consciousness before I open my mouth. and sometimes the answer is......simply silence as henry says. Being still in mind, body, and spirit is still my biggest challenge.

I don't act on my character defects outwardly like I use to.....but sometimes the diologue and battle i have with myself inwardly....can still be very sick.

progress not perfection.