how to gently fire a sponsor?

[peajaye]

I agreed to sponsor a woman today that has 2 years this month. Shortly after telling her yes, I would sponsor her, she asked how to tell her current sponsor. After rolling this around in my head for a few minutes, I had a light bulb moment and told her to pray about it. I know the woman that currently sponsors her, or at least I know who she is. Any ideas out there?

[snugsnug]

Hey peajay, I got a new sponsor this summer. My first sponsor was with me from the beginning. This was a tough decision for me, you see I am a people pleaser, and I surely did not want to hurt his feelings. But what they told me in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous is that this is a selfish program, and that my recovery is mine.

God put my first sponsor in my life when I needed him, and he guided me through some steps, and I did some good recovery with him, and nobody can take that away from us, but I am recovering and I had to move on. They also told me that recovery was an active change in attitude and behavior.

God put a new sponsor in my life right when I needed one, he did start me over on my step work and I did want to cop a resentment with him but I didn't. I saw something in my new sponsor that I wanted.

It seemed to me that my old sponsor copped a resentment when I told him about my decision, it seemed like he avoided me at meetings, and that was OK, that was his ****************, not mine. Sometimes personalities get in the way. He and I are still in the same homegroup, go to the same meetings.

I don't know if this is what you were looking for, there is really no real answer, I don't think. Praying about it is the best suggestion.

Sterling

[admin]

For me, the way is to go ahead and tell the person - the sooner the better, preferrably face to face and/or by phone. Don't drag it out. Be short and sweet - in and out. (Keep it simple.) Whatever they feel afterwards is theirs. I agree with praying about it.

[janbear]

Yes, prayer is always called for first. I let go of a sponsor recently, she took it well. I just felt it was time to move on and thats all i told her. I have always believed that a good sponsor wont expect a bunch of explanations and she didnt.