janbear
10-12-2006, 06:23 AM
GRIEF
”To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved
only at the price of a total detachment, which excludes
the ability to experience happiness.”
Erich Fromm
In the years before program I lived in a bland state of non-feeling and I ran away from all painful emotions -- especially loss and grief. Of course the food was always there to keep the painful emotions at bay, and whenever I experienced any kind of loss -- especially that of a loved one -- I was always able to focus my attention on other things. Instead of feeling my own emotions, I focused on being strong for someone else whose loss I perceived to be greater than mine. For some strange reason I didn't think I had the right to grieve.
After losing a beloved cat recently, I was overwhelmed by all the painful emotions of loss and grief. It was almost as though all of my previous losses were combined into this latest loss, but instead of running from my feelings, I allowed myself the luxury of grieving for my cat who was so special to me. This time I didn't need to run away into the food. Of course it was hard and painful, but I know that allowing myself to feel even uncomfortable feelings like this is part of being alive ~ and that means allowing myself to feel both the positive emotions -- such as joy -- and the negative ones like grief.
One day at a time...
I will allow myself to feel both the good emotions and the bad ones, and because I have a program I don't need to blot them out with food.
~ Sharon S.
”To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved
only at the price of a total detachment, which excludes
the ability to experience happiness.”
Erich Fromm
In the years before program I lived in a bland state of non-feeling and I ran away from all painful emotions -- especially loss and grief. Of course the food was always there to keep the painful emotions at bay, and whenever I experienced any kind of loss -- especially that of a loved one -- I was always able to focus my attention on other things. Instead of feeling my own emotions, I focused on being strong for someone else whose loss I perceived to be greater than mine. For some strange reason I didn't think I had the right to grieve.
After losing a beloved cat recently, I was overwhelmed by all the painful emotions of loss and grief. It was almost as though all of my previous losses were combined into this latest loss, but instead of running from my feelings, I allowed myself the luxury of grieving for my cat who was so special to me. This time I didn't need to run away into the food. Of course it was hard and painful, but I know that allowing myself to feel even uncomfortable feelings like this is part of being alive ~ and that means allowing myself to feel both the positive emotions -- such as joy -- and the negative ones like grief.
One day at a time...
I will allow myself to feel both the good emotions and the bad ones, and because I have a program I don't need to blot them out with food.
~ Sharon S.