HONESTY

[janbear]

HONESTY

”Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.”
Thomas Jefferson



Throughout my ups and downs in life -- and with my enthusiasm for working the steps -- I have found one idea helpful. No matter what I feel or think, being honest about it with myself, with others, and with God, helps me to stay in a healthier state of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness. When I first started in the program, the idea of telling my Higher Power how I really felt was foreign to me. Sure I asked for help and "explained" what I was going through, but I didn't often pour my heart out. I didn't want to offend or burden God with complaints or weakness. I have somewhat let go of the formal prayers I learned in my youth and I more often tell God the way my life really is without sugar-coating it. Sometimes that includes sharing my negative attitude, blubbering, or just conversing casually with God. My Higher Power is full of acceptance and understanding and is pleased every time I share my honest thoughts and feelings with Him

The years of denying and burying my feelings have resulted in an automatic reaction to not allow myself to feel -- or even think straight -- in lots of situations. If I can take the time to identify exactly where I am and then honestly admit that to God and others (when needed), I have made progress.

Sharing my true self with a sponsor or in a meeting helps, too. It lifts the blinders from my eyes so that I can see my reality and proceed from there. If I hide from God, fool myself or deceive others -- if I put up a false front or choose to look the other way -- I rob myself of honesty, which is the foundation of my progress towards serenity and wisdom.

One day at a time...
For today I will embrace my reality, good and bad. I will honestly admit my thoughts and feelings to myself, to another person and to God.


~ Susanne

[Doraine]

In my drinking days I lied to my kids about it. Today I'm free to be honest about whatever is going on with me.

[fibiray]

I think if you were to ask a number of older sober members who have been sober more than 20yrs what they have remained consistant with in the recoveries, the same underlying principle of honesty will arise. I have been truely blessed from the time I first came in to have grapsed a profound sense of self honesty that has never left me. I would much rather stand in a meeting and share something from the heart and be honest and run the risk of being laughed at or ridiculed or judged than get up and speak with a sense of flase bravado. False bravado was a part of the old drinking life which thank god is no longer a part of my life today. There have been many who have come into the program who remain dishonest with themselves and others out of fear of revealing themselve and their true being. I can only feel great compassion for these people as their existence is one full of shame and certainly one that denies them a loving relationship with god as we understand him. They are never really free from the shackles of the past and any recovery is simply a painted face that will ultimately wash off when their tears begin to flow. thats me.

[janbear]

As stated in the reading, i too found honesty to be very foreign to me as well. Me be honest? with anybody?About Me? No way! When i entered the program in 87 even then i struggled to be honest .I honestly admitted i was alcoholic/addict but that was it. .Oh, i did what i could on the steps in treatment, but my honesty was superficial And i stayed dry for quite a while like that but i was miserable, you can guess what happened to me, i relapsed. Second time around i was more willing to be honest about myself to God and others at least i thought so, but again it wasnt enough.I relapsed again. Part of my downfall was continually leaving out the same things in Step 5. But just as much i struggled daily to be real with myself and others. I love how Fi referred to " the shakles of the past and any recovery is simply a painted face". That described me so well. I entered the doors a third time at a point i never was before, i can tell you i took the steps as suggested for the first time, when i got to step 4, i took God into with me for the first time and because of His loving acceptance and forgiveness i was able to write down what i never could before,followed it up with step 5 divulging all for the first time in my life and was able to really move on in the steps. But honesty does'nt stop at step 5. Today i can allow myself to feel whatever i feel, share it with God and others. I finally feel my 'shackles' have been removed.

[mellotripp]

Once I said I was an alcoholic addict, to be honest, and you all never forgot it. God help me if I ever forget it again. Being honest with myself has been the tough part of recovery. A conscience contact with God lays down all the rules. How much do I want to follow them? Well, now I'm back where I started.

[clean42day]

There was a time when I was literally incapable of being honest...there was too much of a false self in place for me to even know what my truth was. as layers have been peeled and toxic shame and guilt have been purged....now I can no longer imagine Not being honest. I just don't let shame and guilt hold me hostage like I used to and I certainly don't want to give those two freeloaders any amunition to use against me later on. I can't stand the feeling of being dishonest....it eats my soul alive....so I just don't do it. the cost is too high. This does not mean that I bare my soul to everyone either. it took me a long time learning boundaries to learn how much to tell and to discern what people to trust. But I do tell god everything...even when I am angry with him, which is not too often these days...trust and faith have replaced most of my anger.

so now I am literally at the other extreme of brutal honesty and sometimes I am a little to truthful and find out later that I have hurt others with my truth. in this respect...quite honestly....I would rather be selfish and be brutally honest...than to forfiet self-truth for someone elses comfort. and that is just where I am at today. maybe with time I will learn how to have a little more tact and finesse. until then I get to accept the new me right where I am at...and let go of other peoples reactions.

light and love

Gail

[admin]

Thinking on the subject "Honesty" one of the first things I had to do was to get honest about my drinking. I remember when my hubby said to me - "Beer is your lover, your buddy." I remember thinking - "What the heck is he talking about?" Beer isn't my buddy, my lover. How can it be? It is not a person. It would take a while longer of drinking for me to begin to understand that and even longer to admit that what he said was true.