clean42day
10-21-2006, 05:43 PM
ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.
A few years ago, a good friend suddenly died. At her memorial service
we wept, prayed, listened to music, heard about her from friends and
relatives, and sang. The song we sang was "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
The words to the song were printed on the program under the heading,
"Our Song."
As we sang, the words took on an entirely different meaning for me. A
meaning far greater than the round usually sung by small children.
Here was a group of adults, singing it in cooperative harmony to
memorialize a beloved woman. What was so special about "their song?"
Today, the words of this childhood round have significantly greater
meaning than they did then.
"Row, row, row." Persist in the effort to move forward in your life.
Put your energy and effort into growing, learning and moving ahead
toward creating the quality of life you really desire. If you stop
in that effort, you get nowhere and stagnate. Certainly my friend was
always focused on learning and growing in her life. She indeed, was
continually rowing forward.
"Your boat." It is, after all, your boat...your being. Being who you
really are not only allows you to move ahead, it is also the vehicle
which keeps you afloat and safe in a chaotic world. When we jump out
of our own boat, stop being our true selves, we often land in
shark-infested waters and are drowned or eaten...or both. Don't try
to change anyone else. Trust being who you are. Enjoy being you.
Value your uniqueness. After all, you have been in your boat all your
life. And there never was and never will be another craft quite like
it. My friend loved being who she was.
"Gently." It is so important to be gentle in life. We live in a
violent culture. Being gentle with yourself, others and your
environment helps dampen the violence, and heal the wounded. We so
often cling to, and struggle with, forces beyond our control. We
become frustrated, angry or resentful, and destructively take out
these emotions on ourselves, on those around us, or on our home...the
earth. I learned how to be gentle partly by knowing my friend. She was
always gentle, especially with her grandchildren.
"Down the stream." Not up the stream. Not across the stream. But down
the stream. How often do we fight the flow of life? We're usually so
busy swimming up stream, we exhaust ourselves. Take the time to allow
the current of life to move you gently down stream. Let go of the
struggle once in a while. Allow your life to move with Life's currents
as opposed to always wanting to change the course of the river.
It was not easy for my friend to accept her imperfections, her
problems or her losses. But she moved more than most with the flow of
Life. Several years prior to her death, she confronted widowhood with
an acceptance and equanimity rarely seen. She learned to "flow" with
it. And as she did, she more easily adjusted to being single once
again.
"Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily." Oh, the joy of being alive! We
so often take life too seriously. Or we keep reminding ourselves of
all its negative aspects. And when we do we become bitter. We create a
lot of misery. Despite her human frailties, despite her share of pain
and suffering, my friend found joy in being alive. She went through
life merrily. She chose to focus on the positive aspects of her life
rather than the negative. And in doing so, she found laughter and
merriment joy and delight.
"Life is but a dream." Perhaps the Buddhists are correct. What we
usually call "life" is an illusion. Perhaps we are actually
expressions of consciousness...spiritual beings having a physical
experience rather than the other way around. Perhaps the perceived
physicality and permanence of life is indeed, nothing more than a
dream. Perhaps we create our own dream/life. Perhaps when we become
"enlightened" or die, we cease superimposing upon Life only what we
think, and for the first time, experience what life is really like. I
know my friend believed that after her death she would be really
alive...perhaps for the first time. May it be so!
So my dear friend, even as your life enriched mine, so too has your
song, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Thank you for both. I'll always
remember with love.
By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.
A few years ago, a good friend suddenly died. At her memorial service
we wept, prayed, listened to music, heard about her from friends and
relatives, and sang. The song we sang was "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
The words to the song were printed on the program under the heading,
"Our Song."
As we sang, the words took on an entirely different meaning for me. A
meaning far greater than the round usually sung by small children.
Here was a group of adults, singing it in cooperative harmony to
memorialize a beloved woman. What was so special about "their song?"
Today, the words of this childhood round have significantly greater
meaning than they did then.
"Row, row, row." Persist in the effort to move forward in your life.
Put your energy and effort into growing, learning and moving ahead
toward creating the quality of life you really desire. If you stop
in that effort, you get nowhere and stagnate. Certainly my friend was
always focused on learning and growing in her life. She indeed, was
continually rowing forward.
"Your boat." It is, after all, your boat...your being. Being who you
really are not only allows you to move ahead, it is also the vehicle
which keeps you afloat and safe in a chaotic world. When we jump out
of our own boat, stop being our true selves, we often land in
shark-infested waters and are drowned or eaten...or both. Don't try
to change anyone else. Trust being who you are. Enjoy being you.
Value your uniqueness. After all, you have been in your boat all your
life. And there never was and never will be another craft quite like
it. My friend loved being who she was.
"Gently." It is so important to be gentle in life. We live in a
violent culture. Being gentle with yourself, others and your
environment helps dampen the violence, and heal the wounded. We so
often cling to, and struggle with, forces beyond our control. We
become frustrated, angry or resentful, and destructively take out
these emotions on ourselves, on those around us, or on our home...the
earth. I learned how to be gentle partly by knowing my friend. She was
always gentle, especially with her grandchildren.
"Down the stream." Not up the stream. Not across the stream. But down
the stream. How often do we fight the flow of life? We're usually so
busy swimming up stream, we exhaust ourselves. Take the time to allow
the current of life to move you gently down stream. Let go of the
struggle once in a while. Allow your life to move with Life's currents
as opposed to always wanting to change the course of the river.
It was not easy for my friend to accept her imperfections, her
problems or her losses. But she moved more than most with the flow of
Life. Several years prior to her death, she confronted widowhood with
an acceptance and equanimity rarely seen. She learned to "flow" with
it. And as she did, she more easily adjusted to being single once
again.
"Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily." Oh, the joy of being alive! We
so often take life too seriously. Or we keep reminding ourselves of
all its negative aspects. And when we do we become bitter. We create a
lot of misery. Despite her human frailties, despite her share of pain
and suffering, my friend found joy in being alive. She went through
life merrily. She chose to focus on the positive aspects of her life
rather than the negative. And in doing so, she found laughter and
merriment joy and delight.
"Life is but a dream." Perhaps the Buddhists are correct. What we
usually call "life" is an illusion. Perhaps we are actually
expressions of consciousness...spiritual beings having a physical
experience rather than the other way around. Perhaps the perceived
physicality and permanence of life is indeed, nothing more than a
dream. Perhaps we create our own dream/life. Perhaps when we become
"enlightened" or die, we cease superimposing upon Life only what we
think, and for the first time, experience what life is really like. I
know my friend believed that after her death she would be really
alive...perhaps for the first time. May it be so!
So my dear friend, even as your life enriched mine, so too has your
song, "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Thank you for both. I'll always
remember with love.