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10-29-2006, 09:16 AM
GOOSE CHASE

by Robert Byron



It was supposed to be easy to build. Nothing was further from

the truth. The directions were ridiculously difficult to under-

stand, none of the parts lined up and just about everything

had to be forced into place. The kit was a nightmare to build

but finally, after several days, my son's swing set was complete.

The only things it needed were anchors to keep it from tipping

over while being used. Naturally, the anchors were not included

in the kit.



I ventured out to Home Depot, the hardware superstore, in

search of anchors. I asked someone in the "fasteners" section.

"They usually keep them over by the swing sets."



"Where would I find the swing sets?" I asked.



I think their over by lumber."



I journeyed past half of the store to the lumber section and

made a thorough examination of the area before coming to

the conclusion that the area was void of swing sets. I asked

another clerk, "I'm looking for swing set anchors. Do you know

where I might find them?"



"I think they keep them with the swing sets," was the reply.



"Okay, great. Can you point me in the direction of the swing

sets?"



"Sure. They're in the garden center."



I walked the full length of the store to the other side where

the garden center is located and found a sales person. "I'm

looking for swing set anchors."



"Check over by the swing sets."



"Where can I find the swing sets?"



"I'm not sure. We might be sold out of them. Try checking

with customer service."



"I traveled back to the center of the store to the customer

service desk. There were a half dozen people in line and the

service person was on the phone with another customer. Just

as soon as the service person would get off the phone, it would

ring again and she would answer it before helping anyone in

line. This had happened several times during the next fifteen

minutes when I decided to pull out my cell phone and dial the

number to Home Depot.



The phone rang, the service person answered. "Home Depot.

Can I help you?"



"Yes you can. I'm looking for swing set anchors," I said. "Do

you have any in stock?"



"Yes sir," said the woman standing ten feet away from me.

People began to notice what I was doing. "I believe we have

plenty of them left."



"Can you show me where they are? I have been all over this

store and everyone keeps sending me to a different department."



She looked up and realized with whom she was speaking." with

a look of surprise, she pointed at an aisle and said, their on

aisle twelve sir."



As I thanked her for her help, I noticed what the six other

people in line were doing. All of them were on their cell phones

waiting for customer service to answer.