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10-29-2006, 09:28 AM
STOP BEING EVERYBODY'S VICTIM
(Adapted by Louis Lapides from John Powell, Why I am
Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?, Argus Communications)
The late US syndicated columnist Sydney J. Harris accompanied
his friend George to his favorite newsstand. George greeted the
man selling the newspapers courteously, but in return he received
gruff service. He barely acknowledged his customer and never
even looked up at him when he requested the late night edition.
Accepting the newspaper, which was shoved rudely in his
direction, George politely smiled and wished the newsman a
pleasant weekend. The proprietor grunted an indiscernible
sound and seemed relieved that the two men had completed
their transaction.
As the two friends walked down the street the columnist asked,
"Does he always treat you so rudely?" "Yes, unfortunately, he
does," George responded. "And are you always so kind and
friendly to him?" "Yes, I am!" George continued as they turned
a corner. "Why are you so nice when he is so unfriendly to you?"
With a look of deep contemplation, George explained, "Because
I don't want him to decide how I am going to act."
----
Who decides how you are going to act? Is it your circumstances
or the difficult people in your life that determine your
responses? When we allow our conflicts to control us, we
behave as though getting rid of our predicaments is our only
priority. Therefore, it doesn't really matter how we treat one
another.
For example, we say, "This person is causing me distress
right now so I don't care about exercising patience, self-
control, and loving kindness. Instead, I want to let them to
know how angry I am because of their actions."
We forget our trials will eventually subside. But the way we
handle conflicts will influence our lives for a long time. Will
you only respond to the momentary crisis or will you be
more concerned about the enduring value of what kind of
person you are becoming? Who decides how you will act
when the pressure is on?
(Adapted by Louis Lapides from John Powell, Why I am
Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?, Argus Communications)
The late US syndicated columnist Sydney J. Harris accompanied
his friend George to his favorite newsstand. George greeted the
man selling the newspapers courteously, but in return he received
gruff service. He barely acknowledged his customer and never
even looked up at him when he requested the late night edition.
Accepting the newspaper, which was shoved rudely in his
direction, George politely smiled and wished the newsman a
pleasant weekend. The proprietor grunted an indiscernible
sound and seemed relieved that the two men had completed
their transaction.
As the two friends walked down the street the columnist asked,
"Does he always treat you so rudely?" "Yes, unfortunately, he
does," George responded. "And are you always so kind and
friendly to him?" "Yes, I am!" George continued as they turned
a corner. "Why are you so nice when he is so unfriendly to you?"
With a look of deep contemplation, George explained, "Because
I don't want him to decide how I am going to act."
----
Who decides how you are going to act? Is it your circumstances
or the difficult people in your life that determine your
responses? When we allow our conflicts to control us, we
behave as though getting rid of our predicaments is our only
priority. Therefore, it doesn't really matter how we treat one
another.
For example, we say, "This person is causing me distress
right now so I don't care about exercising patience, self-
control, and loving kindness. Instead, I want to let them to
know how angry I am because of their actions."
We forget our trials will eventually subside. But the way we
handle conflicts will influence our lives for a long time. Will
you only respond to the momentary crisis or will you be
more concerned about the enduring value of what kind of
person you are becoming? Who decides how you will act
when the pressure is on?