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11-08-2006, 01:28 PM
TAME FAMILY CLUTTER -- THE SATURDAY BOX
By Cheryl L. Fuller, Ph.D.
Does this happen in your house? The kids come home and boots
come off here, coats in a heap there. On the table is a pile of
stuff -- keys your husband left there, books from last night's
homework, a game. And then in the morning as everyone is
scurrying around trying to get ready for school or work, you're
bombarded with "Where's my science book?", "Help me find
my keys!", "I can't find my boots!"
Tired of the clutter and trying to get them to pick up their
things?
Here's a technique that will bring the clutter under control
without ever raising your voice:
The Saturday Box
First get a large cardboard box and on the side write Saturday
Box. Now gather the whole family. Show them the box and
then tell them that you don't want to nag anymore about putting
things away or for everyone to be frustrated when they try to
find things. So every night before you go to bed, you will go
through the public rooms in the house and everything that is
not where it should be will go into the Saturday Box and it
will not come out again until Saturday. Let them know this
applies to everyone in the house, adults included.
Resist the temptation to say anything more about it; don't
remind anyone; don't tell anyone to pick up. Before you go
to bed, just put anything left where it doesn't belong in the
box -- don't exempt yourself or anyone else or any thing.
Chances are in the first few days at least one person will
leave stuff that gets moved into the Box. That person will
no doubt come and ask you if you know where it is. At this
point you smile benignly and say, "Well yes. I put it in the
Saturday Box last night. I'll be happy to give it back to you
Saturday morning."
You may now hear howls of protest about how important that
thing is. You nod and smile and say, "I'm really sorry this
causes a problem for you, but it will not be available to you
again until Saturday. I guess next time you'll remember to put
your things where they belong." Do not argue. Do not give in
and let them have it. This is important.
On Saturday morning, quietly return everything in the box to
the respective owners. Be pleasant. No lecturing.
If you are consistent and firm, it will not take more than a few
days before everyone is taking responsibility for their things.
Children under the age of 6 or so will need some help in
remembering the rule, so it is fine to remind them before
they go to bed that they need to be sure that everything is
where it belongs.
By Cheryl L. Fuller, Ph.D.
Does this happen in your house? The kids come home and boots
come off here, coats in a heap there. On the table is a pile of
stuff -- keys your husband left there, books from last night's
homework, a game. And then in the morning as everyone is
scurrying around trying to get ready for school or work, you're
bombarded with "Where's my science book?", "Help me find
my keys!", "I can't find my boots!"
Tired of the clutter and trying to get them to pick up their
things?
Here's a technique that will bring the clutter under control
without ever raising your voice:
The Saturday Box
First get a large cardboard box and on the side write Saturday
Box. Now gather the whole family. Show them the box and
then tell them that you don't want to nag anymore about putting
things away or for everyone to be frustrated when they try to
find things. So every night before you go to bed, you will go
through the public rooms in the house and everything that is
not where it should be will go into the Saturday Box and it
will not come out again until Saturday. Let them know this
applies to everyone in the house, adults included.
Resist the temptation to say anything more about it; don't
remind anyone; don't tell anyone to pick up. Before you go
to bed, just put anything left where it doesn't belong in the
box -- don't exempt yourself or anyone else or any thing.
Chances are in the first few days at least one person will
leave stuff that gets moved into the Box. That person will
no doubt come and ask you if you know where it is. At this
point you smile benignly and say, "Well yes. I put it in the
Saturday Box last night. I'll be happy to give it back to you
Saturday morning."
You may now hear howls of protest about how important that
thing is. You nod and smile and say, "I'm really sorry this
causes a problem for you, but it will not be available to you
again until Saturday. I guess next time you'll remember to put
your things where they belong." Do not argue. Do not give in
and let them have it. This is important.
On Saturday morning, quietly return everything in the box to
the respective owners. Be pleasant. No lecturing.
If you are consistent and firm, it will not take more than a few
days before everyone is taking responsibility for their things.
Children under the age of 6 or so will need some help in
remembering the rule, so it is fine to remind them before
they go to bed that they need to be sure that everything is
where it belongs.