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janbear
11-26-2006, 02:55 PM
It is easy to live for others. Everybody does. I call on you to live for yourselves. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Selfishness, of course, is not conducive to healthy self-esteem. The point is that unless we first take care of our own buisiness we will have nothing of value to give anyone else.

Selflessness can be a superficial hiding place. It is easy to live for others, to get involved in their lives, to endlessly ruminate on what is wrong with them, and what they need to do to improve their lot. But always and endlessly dwelling on others doesn't leave us much time to "look to our own houses." If our energies are always visiting, who's minding the store at home?

All real advances in self-esteem are made when we dare to deal with ourselves. Other people's issues aren't our affair. The real question is, what are ours? What are our own personal black clouds that keep the sun of self-esteem from shining from our lives? What character defects are making us want to run away from ourselves? What are our fears, insecurities, jealousies? These weeds must be rooted out if our garden is to grow.

From: Believing in Myself

janbear
11-26-2006, 09:42 PM
"Trust God, Clean House, Help OthersPart of my "Cleaning house" started when i took step 4 and i am to continue that using step 10. I need to mind my own house. In the step 11 prayer it says to "make me a channel of thy peace" Step 12 says to "Carry the message". That is how i see i can try to help others by carrying the message of recovery. To me there is a difference between being absorbed in someone else ,prying into their buisiness to get out of myself, and simply carrying the message of recovery indiciated in Step 12. Thats just me.

Nana
11-27-2006, 06:51 PM
:D tHANKS i NEEDED TO HEAR THAT..........lOVE NANA:42: :42:

TerminallyUnique
11-29-2006, 10:54 PM
Oh man... my cleaning house really should be "cleaning house"... I end up doing everything for everyone and then find my own house (literally) in disarray. Heck, last night I stepped on my cat who was cuddled up in my pile of clothes (I was trying to make it to the closet). My al-anon friends tease me about being too co-dependent... hmmm, maybe they have an idea what they're talking about? :rolleyes: :251: nawww... couldn't be. :neutral: