Taking co-dependency very seriously

[fibiray]

REscuing can be even darker: not noticing that your partnet is byllying orsexually abusing one of your children; making excuses when your partner bullies or abuses; ignoring drug or alcohol abuse; financially supporting a loved one's addictive behaviours. When rescuing tips into co-dependant behaviours, and the fear and paralysis that accompany them, professional help or structured help through a twelve step progra like AA or alanon offers crcuial support to create lasting change.

life and soul essentials - stephanie dorwick:1:

[clean42day]

yes this is called "Babymaking' behavior...and just as the alcoholic or addict is dependent on thier chemical...the co-dependent is addicted to rescueing the alcoholic/addict. two sides of the same disease. the obsession: the alcoholic lays awake an night trying to figure out how to get the next drink without the spouse knowing...and the spouce lays awake at night trying to figure out how to stop the alcoholic from drinking. The compulsion: The addict/alcholic practices the behavior of going to the conection or the liquore store....and the co-dependents practicve the behavior of rescuing - drives his/her car around in unsafe places at all hours of the night looking for the addict/alcoholic. neither can see that thier obsessions and compulsions are one in the same...only the subject is different.

The dysfunction stops when both surrender to the idea....that they are both powerless over the same disease and they both seek INDIVIDUAL HELP. if doing it together would have ever worked...they would not have powerlessness going on to begin with.

OOOHHHHHH such a viscious cycle it is....and round and round we go...and where it ends nobody knows.

it ends with al-anon and Alcohlics Anonymous.

The alcoholic must be allowed to hit bottom and want help
and the co-dependent must hit thier own bottom emotionaly and want help too.

just my experience

light and love

Gail

[clean42day]

The "denial" that the reading speaks of...is not exclusive to the disease of alcoholism or co-dependency. ie)sexual abuse, emotional abuse....that kind of denial is indicative of the human condition period. at least that is what a therapist told me. She said that if my mother were to admit that she had knowledge of my sexual abuse...she would also have to admit that she failed as a mother to protect me and that was too much for her. and since our very first primal instinct is to protect one'self and psyche and emotions....that the denial creates a protective barrier to our ego self. hope I explained that the right way. sometimes it is not that people choose denail...it is almost automatic and then goes deeper and on and on for so long...it becomes a imprisonment of fear and an illusion or fantasy of a false truth is created.

ok I am done now.