Spiritual Weight Loss with Norris

[free2bunme]

Simplify

May I suggest that you un-complicate your life?

Keep things on the simple side. Try to see difficult, all-consuming problems in another light--as the sum of a lot of little parts. Break down tasks into manageable, little steps.

Only do things that are going to bring you joy, peace, and prosperity. Don't do it unless there's some good to come of it. Don't do anything out of guilt, shame, resentment, anger, dread, hostility, or if you are forced or coerced.

Look at your schedule, and everything you want or need to do today. Is everything on that big list completely necessary? Can some things wait, or be put aside?

[free2bunme]

Food Is Sacred

When I see trees and grass and birds and the sky and living things -- I get that exciting feeling that I am One with all of Nature. When I breathe fresh air in and out, and drink in the sky's pure sunlight with my eyes, I feel the connection and the loving power of God. When I eat, it's a spiritual activity. It used to be entertainment and emotional salve. Now I know that I'm taking in life energy, and that it's giving me the same in return. Food is precious, and I take it very seriously.

Now, every time I eat I thank God for the physical and spiritual nourishment I am about to receive. As a Christian, food has become a symbol of Holy Communion with God for me. My Jewish friends have invited me to spiritual feasts, such as Passover, symbolizing God’s presence and Love. I went to a Hindu temple and ate some food called Prasada, holy food offered to Hindu deities and then shared among worshippers as a form of grace. I also have taken courses in Buddhist practice, and shared a spiritual meal, using only one bowl.

[free2bunme]

Quick! Think Well of Yourself!

Quick, think of three things that are good about yourself. Remind yourself of these things all day today, at every given opportunity. Go ahead, give yourself some compliments (even though it may be hard at first).

If you need prompting, chose three descriptions from this list that apply to you: sincere, prompt, truthful, caring, attentive, smart, good hair, beautiful blue (or brown or green) eyes, precise, diligent, great sense of humor, peaceful, patient, proud, friendly, fastidious, childlike, poetic, hard-working, tall, sweet, creative, neighborly, green-thumb, witty, resourceful, good cook...That's only a starter list of possibilities!

It's way too easy to be self-critical, and hard on oneself.

[free2bunme]

I’m sick of struggling to lose weight – and then gaining it right back and starting all over again. How do I lose weight permanently?

First of all, learn to find JOY in the process of becoming and staying healthy. While nothing in this life is truly perfect or permanent, there is a way to "manage" and maintain your weight. That’s what you want to aim for, a stable and healthy weight.

How? BALANCE! Aim to eat only as many calories (or take in as much nutritional energy) as you use up in living. Learn to eat just the right amount of food, from all six food groups in moderation every day. Learn and practice being physically active every day. You eat for nourishment, mainly, and get your pleasure from life in all of its vast variety.

This is all accomplished slowly, over time, with HELP! Help from others who have done it, who care about you and will cheer you on, and most importantly, divine help from God (or whatever you call your Higher Power).

[free2bunme]

Consciously Silent

Every time, before you eat, take a moment to be silent. Close your eyes if you like, or just fix your attention on a neutral object or point. Take a few slow, deep breaths. Think about your body and that you’re about to feed and nourish it. Gather a sense of gratitude about the food, and know how lucky you are to have it when many others don’t. Remind yourself of your commitments to eat well, but just enough. Remember that you love your body, and yourself. Then be silent again for a little while.

Silence is anything but empty! When you put yourself and your thoughts aside, you let God come into your awareness. You come to sense that all is right and well with everything and with you.

Being consciously silent before eating can ground you, making you aware of the magnitude of what you’re about to do. You are taking another living thing’s life into your body. Food was once alive and by the act of eating it, you claim its life for yours. You are continuing the flow of God’s magnificently intricate eco-system with each bite.

[free2bunme]

Q&A: How Long Do I Have to Exercise to Lose Weight?

How long does it take to see results from exercise?

First of all, I don’t believe in "exercise!" That’s a dirty word to me, because it was always something I had to do, and I hated it. That’s why I would join gyms or begin vigorous programs and quickly quit. I do, however, love to move and be physically active.

The slightest amount of daily movement will immediately make you feel great. You’ll enjoy instant results: you’ll feel good, your mind will clear, and your mood will quickly improve. All it takes to begin is to get up out of the chair, take some deep cleansing breaths and walk around the block. If that’s too much, just walk around your home, and stretch a little. You’ll immediately feel better after you finish. So good, you’ll want to repeat the pleasure again – this afternoon, or tomorrow!

The physical joy is contagious - now, after many years, I can’t wait to move and play an hour a day! It makes a huge, instant difference in my life.

[free2bunme]

Cravings vs. Habits

Your body will tell you what it needs in the form of cravings. The trick is to develop an internal “ear” for your body’s nutritional signals, while learning to ignore the orders old habits try to give. Most of us have lost or ignored those natural tiny signals long ago because ourhabits “speak” so much louder. So we need to learn to differentiate between a habit and a craving first, before we can become “intuition eaters.”

It’s easy. Habits tend to be repeated behaviors; cravings are mostly one-time feelings. Habit foods are usually not so good for you, like candy, desserts, fatty snack foods, fried foods, etc. Craving foods are what you need to satisfy your nutritional needs, to get enough energy and deep physical vigor for living.

Craving foods are usually much better for your health and fall into categories like protein, minerals, vitamins, etc. (I craved spinach today, so I must need iron. Or if I really have a hankering for a cheese sandwich or a hamburger then I probably need more protein.)

If you feel compulsive (that out-of-control and MUST have a specific thing, or piles of food NOW struggle) it means there’s a habit talking.

[free2bunme]

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.


Mark Twain

[free2bunme]

Free As A Bird

Listen to the birds chirping. See them flying. In the day, they're out in the air and sunshine. At night, they perch on a limb. They gather food when they're hungry. They eat what they like; as much as feels right. They spend most of the day flying around. They find mates. They raise their young. They do their thing.

You don't see fat birds, do you? Birds don't eat too much. They use their bodies and move. They're not worried about themselves, or ill at ease and in need of comfort. They don't need to eat and eat and eat to feel good. They are totally themselves, and don't care one way or the other. They just are. And they are fine.

[free2bunme]

Motion the Seconds

Instead of having seconds, listen to a Mozart sonata today. If you don't have one, tune in to a classical radio station. Sit and do nothing else but listen to that music.

Focus on every note. Listen to the rapture, the joy that Mozart had when the melody flowed out of him. He sat with pen and paper at hand – often with no piano or instrument – and let it just flow out, almost without effort or thinking about it. Listen to the precision of harmony and counter-point that he had. Such ecstasy it must have been to be that talented. He was so naturally gifted, and able to let the music flow out of him. So joyous, and breathtakingly beautiful at times I can barely stand it!

This is a much better feeling than being stuffed with food. Listen to music, and let it play inside you instead of having a second helping of something today. Have just a little, keep with your daily food plan, and let time go by – you will feel most satisfied.

[free2bunme]

Q&A: Are There Foods I Should Avoid Eating?

Are there any bad foods to eat?

True liberation from deprivation dieting is what I recommend, so no, there are no “bad foods.” The goal is to learn to eat absolutely anything at all, in moderation. You should always feel joy when eating. Never go too hungry, feel deprived or go against your better judgment.

It’s not the individual foods you eat that affect your weight stability: it’s your overall food plan over time. That is why I recommend true, liberated, sensible moderation – eating a little of everything. This is a humane, simple way to live. Of course, there are some foods you’d best not eat a lot of. Briefly, the foods to avoid in high quantities are those that are high fat, high calorie, high salt. On the other hand, eating tons of healthy foods isn’t good for you either!

So then, what to eat? Follow your instincts and intuition, eat what you like, in moderation, and eat what you know you should eat in order to maintain good health. If you have a weight problem, it means you’re eating too much of something, and not fully using the calories that you consume. If there are foods that you’re eating compulsively (without the ability to control it), then there’s a deeper problem in you that needs your attention, care and love to alleviate. Begin by asking God for help.

[free2bunme]

Go Ahead & Feel Good

Taking good care of yourself can give you some really good feelings. When you eat well and move, you plug yourself into life. That means the joy of learning, experiencing new things, getting enough rest, playing, sharing with friends and family, working hard and then relaxing, and knowing you've done your best.

Compare that with what happens when you don’t take good care of yourself. You feel stuffed and tired, you don’t look your best, you feel sickly or actually get sick more often. You age more rapidly than necessary. You subject yourself to an early death. You worry your family, friends, and co-workers. And, you feel bad about yourself to boot.

[free2bunme]

I'm Not Perfect!

Can you actually stop abusing yourself with overeating and under activity? If you’re like me or like any of the thousands of people I’ve worked with, you actually cannot solve your own problems.

If you cannot control yourself, or help yourself lose weight, it’s high time you admit that reality. You can’t stop abusing yourself with too much food. You don't take care of your body by using it. There's no harm in admitting you have a problem, and that you want to work on it.

Let go of the pride and join the human club – we’re all making mistakes. We’re all a mess, and we’re all struggling. Join me in admitting: I’m not perfect!

The ticket to solving problems is first to acknowledge you have problems and cannot recover by yourself. That’s the first step of all the highly successful Twelve Step programs. That’s the first step as taught by all religions. That’s the first step of psychology and therapy.

[free2bunme]

One-Hundred Percent

During the years I weighed 400 pounds, I tried solving my own problems with diets, weight loss pills, exercise machines, gym memberships, and fasting to death.

But, nothing I tried worked in the long run. I just could not control my own eating. I simply could not avoid unhealthy foods and deadly snacks. I absolutely could not motivate myself to exercise for more than a couple of days or a week at best. Honestly, to this day I still struggle to do what's necessary to stay healthy or be the best weight. My doctor would like me to lose a few more pounds and I would too, but like you, I'm still working on it!

However, as I look back over my big problems and assess my life, I can see a lot of recovery. I have lost 150 pounds and maintained it for over 15 years as I write this. But, I did not do it. I cannot do it. Not then; not now.

Truth is, God has saved me and given me a miracle. Nothing else could explain it. I often eat the wrong things. I try but I still don't exercise enough. I make mistakes left and right! There's only one thing I've done right. That's giving 100% of my whole life to God. I rely only on God to see me through -- back then at my lowest point, and now. I follow God's plan for me as best as I possibly can, loving God every second. And God has never let me down.

[free2bunme]

Find a Buddy

Get yourself a “Spiritual Weight Loss Buddy.” Find a friend or person who is following the “Joy of Weight Loss Plan” or some other healthy diet and do it with them (or share yours). Post a message on the boards and ask others to join you in your quest for positive change.

Talk to each other several times a day. Share what you’re going to eat, and what you’re feeling and experiencing around the act of eating. Tell your buddy what you’re doing instead of overeating and being inactive.

You can also find a buddy in your community. Go to a Twelve Step group, such as Overeaters Anonymous, or a self-help group sponsored by a church, synagogue, or community center. If there is no spiritual weight loss group nearby, you could try forming one yourself. Put an announcement in your house of worship’s regular bulletin or newsletter, and invite people to contact you or come to the first meeting (give a date and time and meet in an available meeting room).

Once you find buddies, get together for walks, or bounce a ball back and forth. Be yourself with them. Listen to them and be their support and advocate, and let them do the same for you. It’s easier when we share our lives with others, because we’re all in this together, and LIFE’S HARD!

[free2bunme]

Releasing Anger

If you're angry and about to overeat, it's good to get it out. Anger inside hurts you. No amount of food will help the anger. Letting it out constructively helps a lot. Be sure, though, not to be destructive to yourself or others.

If you're angry with the person you're with, try this:

1) Ask them if it's OK to talk about something that's bothering you. 2) Instead of criticizing them, just tell them how you feel. For example, "When you come home late I feel ____." 3) Ask them directly for what you want. Like, "It would mean a lot to me if you were here on time tomorrow." Be specific, and flexible. 4) Negotiate. Try to see their point of view. Gather information. ("What happened, did you get held up on something at work?") 5) Try to trust them, and make an effort to see at least one kernel of truth in what they're saying or feeling.

Something that may also help is to first take a few moments apart from the person who made you cry, and gather your wits and your inner peace. Just say, “Excuse me” for a moment. Then go off by yourself, take a few deep breaths, and say a prayer to be shown God’s will.

[free2bunme]

Connections

Pay close attention to this fact: obesity is a disease of isolation. We are heavy because we are afraid of living, afraid of others, afraid of being a full person, afraid that truly changing is going to be too much effort. Something happened to us, or is currently happening and we want to feel better. We’ve learned to do it by popping edibles into our mouths. We soothe ourselves by watching too much TV, and eating too much. We avoid a lot of activities, and barely let anyone know us.

It’s easier, we think, to stay home and avoid people. It’s easier to feel better for a moment by stuffing a piece of cake or an extra sandwich into our mouths than it is to walk somewhere, or participate in a community event. (Sorry to be so dismal, but you know I’m telling the truth).

Fat people trade their lives for food.

[free2bunme]

Talking to a Stranger Isn't Strange

You probably remember your Mom and Dad telling you repeatedly never to talk to strangers, but I sometimes find it helpful. Grocery stores are good places to subtly strike up a conversation with someone who is in a similar situation (too “in love” with food!).

Finding common ground, like the weather, or the landlord, or how to prepare some vegetable you've never cooked before can break the ice. It doesn’t need to get all heavy, you don’t need to be anything other than casually friendly. Just make the slightest human connection with someone else where you work or shop or in your day-to-day travels. Supermarket check-out people love it when people say hello to them, and ask them about their day.

Swap a quick one-liner with another person at the ticket booth, or a postman, or policewoman, or at the car wash. It’s a good habit to learn the names of people you see on a regular basis, or who serve you. It’s lovely to be a part of a community, and we all certainly are -- even if you live on a mountaintop in the middle of nowhere, you eventually come to a village! Know your neighbors and they’ll know you, too. It’s a great feeling to know you’re not alone in this world.

[free2bunme]

Develop Your Empathy

One great technique for losing weight is to develop your empathy with other people. Try to see a bit of their situation through their eyes. If you see someone having a hard time, offer to give them a hand. If someone is being rude or short-tempered to you, instead of fighting, arguing, or complaining, try repeating what they say to you and then add some understanding word.

This technique is so seldom used by people, it almost instantly changes the mood. For instance, if the checkout man at the supermarket says "Hurry up, lady, I don’t have all day!" say "Oh, you want me to hurry because you’re in a hurry, right? Wow, you must be under a lot of pressure." Try this out, it works very, very well. It almost always short-circuits someone’s anger and stress when you take the time to genuinely listen and then empathize, letting them know you’re on their side--the human side.

What’s this all about? It’s about the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Old fashioned? Yes. True? You betcha. If you are interested in others, they’ll be interested in you. Be decent and human, if you want others to be decent and human to you. The Beatles put it another way: "The love you take is equal to the love you make."

[free2bunme]

Stopping Power

I am totally convinced that we know when we are eating too much. We just can’t stop; we don’t have the power. We also know when we need to get up out of the chair and move around. We know we need to have some physical activity every day in order to feel good and stay healthy. You know these things, don’t you? You would act on them if you could, right? Do you truly wish you could change enough to make a commitment and just do it, if only you had the power?

Ask your soul for the freedom and the ability to give up this self-destructive behavior. Ask the universe (God, in other words) for the power to be your best. The truth is, the power is deep inside you, because you are powerfully created by God. Know this truth. Accept the miraculous reality that is given to you, the God-given strength to eat less, be active, and live a complete life – the life that God intends for you.

The Twelve Step program teaches us, in the very first step, that we are “powerless.” That we cannot stop our compulsive behaviors ourselves. I share this belief. I cannot and do not have the power, myself, to stop. That’s why I need God. That’s why I was able to lose 150 pounds and keep it off.

[free2bunme]

n It Together

Tell someone your problems today. Make a human connection.

The connection that helped me was to hear other people’s life stories of struggle and success with weight control. We all have life stories to tell, and sharing them helps both the sender and the receiver. As we describe ourselves, we focus on the main problems we have and let our personalities come out and illuminate our experiences.

Talking gives us an opportunity to express (or “vent”) our pent-up mental and emotional energy. Just confiding in someone builds our trust as well, a trait that is often minimized in obese people, because of having to always shield or protect our tender selves.

Often, we overweight people think less of ourselves. Some of us feel ashamed, unimportant, and even hate ourselves. By sharing our pain, and our joys, by letting others know that we are in this hard life, too, we really not only help ourselves, we also help others – we confirm that they are not alone in their shame, inferiority, and feelings of self-hatred.

[free2bunme]

Inner Adventure

If you feel that you have too many problems or they are too difficult to bear, or if you are embarrassed or in some way too shy or unable to talk to a friend or support group, I want to really encourage you to seek assistance. Have you thought of going to a therapist or counselor? There are lots of good ones to be found, particularly in urban areas And if you're not sure where to start looking, community colleges, universities, health centers and hospitals, or religious organizations are all good places to start. You could call a referral service, which you can find in the phone book.

You don’t have to tell anyone you are seeing a therapist. No one needs to know. It could well be the most courageous, positive step you’ll ever take. You could do it just to check it out, too, without having to commit to anything. Sometimes, just getting the advice and wisdom of a professional on a particular problem or decision can be helpful. Often, another point of view can open one’s eyes and shed new light on a situation. You don’t have to be “crazy” to visit a therapist, by any means. Please don’t think that! Many professionals offer a sliding scale fee, or you can even get free help through clinics or special programs.

I also have found pastoral counselors to be very helpful. They are psychologists and theologians all rolled into one. They have some interesting, unusual perspectives at times. They, too, believe in God or a power greater than themselves, and they put those beliefs into action.

[free2bunme]

Closely Held Truths

Some of us unconsciously want to be fat, I see clearly now, in order to protect ourselves from something that’s painful, dangerous, or uncomfortable.

Some people I work with just cannot or will not make changes to let themselves lose weight. They keep doing the same things over and over again. Their bad habits have total control over them. They keep on eating way too much – inputting so much more extra nutritional energy than they need. Some keep eating their binge food compulsively, still mistakenly thinking that they will get some comfort or release. Others refuse to move: they will not walk, or stretch, or ever go to a gym or community center or work with a trainer. This was a mystery to me at first. Now, I have begun to see why this happens with a special few. THE PROBLEM IS NOT ABOUT WEIGHT, FOOD, OR EXERCISE PER SE.

The problem with those who cannot or will not make changes is that there’s something very deep down inside that is causing pain or illness: be it physical, like thyroid trouble, or diabetes, etc., or psychological--a hidden trauma, guilt or shame, or spiritual-- lack of connection with God. No amount or kind of food, bad habits, or inactivity will get to the core of these problems.

[free2bunme]

Balance Is the Key

As you get older, we learn from experience, or hopefully we do. An important truth that we come to understand from experience is the importance of finding and maintaining balance in our lives. It may be a cliché, but the old adage "Everything in moderation," is wise advice. When it comes to weight management, a little too much and you get sick, fat, or allergic. Too little, and you're deprived, empty, too skinny.

The best idea is to take the middle path. With food and eating, think quality not quantity. Have some of a lot of things, but not too much. It's important to get all of your vitamins and minerals, proteins, and fiber, but not too much or you'll gain weight. It's also important not to eat so little you rob yourself of nourishment. If you diet, then eventually you always feel deprived and end up going "off" your plan. With exercise and movement, the middle path of balance is the best way as well. Exuberantly signing up for a health club membership and then overdoing it will only cause you to give up because it was too hard, too expensive. Jumping into advanced classes will wear you out fast and possibly injure you. Slow and easy, and consistent, is the balanced best way.

[free2bunme]

Q&A: What If I Don't Feel Better After Losing Weight?

What if I don’t like myself even after I lose weight?

You’re wise to understand that self-image and self-esteem are not always connected. Sure you may think that you’ll love yourself more, or be happier once the extra weight is gone, but it’s unlikely. Don’t fall for the myth that losing weight brings happiness. Find happiness right now, and the weight will come off naturally.

First, work on getting happier and liking yourself more, no matter what. Don’t let your self-esteem and confidence have anything to do with external conditions. Find things to like and encourage in yourself – the way you would for a good friend. Look to God inside of you, however you understand the Divine, to help you see that you belong to this world. You’re important and good, just the way you are. Your place in this universe doesn’t depend on how you look!

I’m convinced that overall human health is a product of our relationship with the Divine, and our own ability to let ourselves exist as God intended us to be. Once you stop worrying about everything, and surrender to the will of the Divine, then it all slowly falls into place. Happiness begins to arrive in amazing ways. The weight slowly becomes a far less important problem. Your overall health improves. Your relationships with others improve. You see that you’re not alone, and that you are supposed to be here – just the way you are – the way that you were created to be.



If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Get Enough Sleep

These days, our lives are so busy and the demands of mere existence are staggering. It's easy to be busy all day, every day, working yourself to the bone, and at the end of the day be tired -- really, really tired. But then we stay up longer, pushing ourselves further and further anyway. The next day we start out tired, and it's downhill from there. An endless cycle.

I have found in myself and with my clients that when we're extremely tired, we crave energy. I’ll do anything to get it, including the total abandonment of my food plan. I often end up desperately grabbing carbohydrates (like candy for quick energy), or protein in large amounts, and then have to work it out within the limits of my Joy of Weight Loss Food Plan later on. And I feel guilty too! If only I could just get some rest when I need energy!

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Overcoming Inertia

Man oh man it's hard to get started sometimes, isn't it? Hard to get going in the morning, hard to get your daily activity started. Hard to get up off of that couch. Hard to stay on your weight management program. So many people confirm what I have found to be true, myself!

But once you do, once you get the old ball rolling, moving isn't so hard. And once you're done you have that pleasant glow of achievement (rather than the weight of guilt and regret).

So I suggest when you're having a sluggish start-up--remember that once you get going, it's not hard. Just begin. The task at hand is not as hard as you think it will be.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

How to Avoid Overeating

Here's a tip to help you avoid overeating...

Go ahead and eat what you like. Anything you're craving, or hungry for. Eat very slowly, and put the fork or spoon down between bites.

While you're eating, look for a very subtle feeling of fullness. It's a really small signal of satiety that you may not be used to noticing, unless you're waiting for it.

Once you feel it, STOP EATING. Get up from the table and go into the other room. Throw the excess food away--or wrap it up for tomorrow. If you're with company or at a restaurant, excuse yourself and go to the restroom. Have someone take the food away from the table. Take five minutes. Do something else. It also helps to say a prayer and ask God for help to not overeat.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Divine Will or Our Will?

When we're disconnected from God (or Spirit, or Higher Power), we're on our own. We have to handle everything ourselves. We often worry a lot, because we’re not sure of what will come, and unsure of how to handle what already faces us.

When we surrender and ask God for guidance, and connect with Him all day long, then everything is easy. We look for answers from God, and we find them. We ask for help, and we get it.

How do you know when you're doing God's will? Simple, when you connect, and desire with the deepest part of your heart, and you surrender, then you are.

You know you're with God and doing His will, because everything just turns out well. Things synchronistically line up and work.

[free2bunme]

Write On

A great way to understand what's going on in your life, in your habits and actions, thoughts and needs, is to write about it.

Keep a journal or diary. Write what you're thinking and doing. Talk on paper about what and how much you are eating, and what you're doing to move your body and nourish your mind and spirit.

One of my recommendations to people wishing to lose weight and improve their health is to first keep a diary of everything they eat and what activities they do on a daily basis. There's more on this in my book, "The Joy of Weight Loss," and variations can be found in other behavior modification programs as well.

Then over time, by keeping diaries you can analyze the information. You'll see where you are doing well and spot areas where you'd like to improve.

I've kept diaries off and on for 20+ years, and love going back and reading about different times in my life. It makes memories vivid, and my life takes on a deeper meaning in the process of recording and reflecting.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Unblock the Blocks

Separate what you truly want from the blocks holding you back. Then act on what you truly want, asking God first for guidance.

If you really really want to lose weight forever, it takes consistent, positive eating and movement patterns. But more often than not, old habits cause you to ignore your goals and then you eat too much again. Go off your food plan. Sit all day, and forget moving.

Pay attention to that positive desire today, all day, and every day, all the time. Repeat it over and over again, silently to yourself, to others, write it down, tell it on the phone to a friend, mention it to everyone you meet. Say "I want to be the best I can be today. That's my goal. I want to really be good to myself."

Then absolutely, positively do NOT let yourself slip back to old patterns of self-destruction.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Are You Causing Your Own Problem?

A wise person once told me "You're holding on to your excess weight." Can we talk candidly about that?

For many people with weight problems, the truth is we are simply holding onto and continuing habits and psychological hang-ups that keep us fat. There's some part of us that is MAKING OURSELVES FAT.

Get to the root of this, attend to it, and you will no longer have a weight problem.

For me, I discovered that I was avoiding intimacy. Being obese is an excellent, effective way to avoid intimacy and committed relationships! As a teenager, I was terrified of expressing my sexual desires. This is because I had had some traumas in that area as a child. I unconsciously made myself weigh 400 pounds. Through a lot of work, some therapy, a lot of spiritual surrender, a lot of risk taking in letting myself be who I was – I have been healed of this terrible problem. It took awhile, though, and it was a lot of difficult work.

Facing the truth about yourself takes courage and diligence. It starts with the desire to really unlock the mystery behind the symptoms.


If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Try This Meditation

Take 10 minutes. Find a totally quiet, private place. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Relax. Empty your mind of all thoughts.

There's a special feeling of a vastly deep Love, an awareness of something bigger and more powerful, deep inside you. It flows from inside to the outside, from the outside to the inside. It is in you, a part of you, it is you, you are it, it is also in others, and in everything. You may have missed it, because it's so totally huge it’s hard to pinpoint! Yet it's there. Sit quietly, focus on your breathing, and let your mind and heart open to this Love.

It's very quiet and easily disguised by a bunch of thoughts and feelings. It takes developing a completely new set of spiritual senses to pick it up, but if you seek it, it becomes easy to feel it. Some people call it a "sixth sense." It takes being very, very still, and very open.

If you don't immediately experience this for yourself, don't worry. Don’t feel bad about it. Just give yourself a little more love, and time. Try it again later, or tomorrow.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Look Back to Childhood

Did you get enough love as a baby? Did your parents hold you, feed you enough, and help you when you needed it?

Many problems in later life are solved when you trace your life back to the very earliest years of your existence. When you begin to see that things were not completely perfect, and that you may not have had all of your needs met, then you begin to put the pieces of the life puzzle together.

Consider for a moment: If you have an eating disorder, it may be possible that you did not get enough food, or love, or attention when you were an infant. Or it may be possible that you were given too much food, as a substitute for love and care. Or (like me) you may have been mistreated or even injured, and the only source of comfort was food.

Consider these ideas. Let them really sink in. See if any of these thoughts have the slightest "ring of truth" in you.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Feel the Spirit Within

That higher "you," deep inside, that "you" that guides you, loves you, is your Spirit. It's actually a small piece of the Universal Spirit, a tiny piece of God inside you. I'm not talking about the part of you that thinks and that conducts your inner dialogue. It's the you that witnesses that. It's the silent observer, the central point above all. Your "higher self." It's an omnipresence that is you, and at the same time is bigger than you.

Some Christians call this the "Christ" Spirit, or Holy Spirit. Some Jews calls this Ruach (or breath of life/wind). Some Hindus speak of Atman, or seat of consciousness. Buddha described this presence sometimes as "self/no self." I believe this part of us is so beautiful it is almost indescribable. Words and concepts fall far, far short.

Whatever your beliefs or traditions, you can find this Presence inside you, and it will guide you. You can go to this point, this Love, anytime, and you will no longer need your petty, useless bad habits as comfort.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Get a Spiritual Guide Book

Here's a thought for your day, and an exercise. Try this, even if you've never felt or been spiritual before. Something has inspired you to seek spiritual themes, or you wouldn't be reading this daily newsletter. Let that soulful quest, that inkling of interest guide you further and deeper.

1) Pick a spiritual book that interests you. Try the Bible (Old or New Testaments), the Koran, Torah, Bhagavad Gita, teachings of the Buddha, or the Tao Te Ching. Pick a passage either by consulting the table of contents or index, or just by opening to any random page.

2) Read a passage, and close your eyes and think of what it means to you. How does it relate to what you’re going through, or something from the past? Is there something that it’s teaching you, something that you may not immediately be aware of? It’s possible that you don’t relate to that passage at all. Consider it anyway – you never know when it might be suddenly applicable, or cause you to examine things, or yourself, differently.

3) Does this story, parable, or teaching give you the feeling of being connected to something bigger, or more powerful than yourself? Does it make you aware that you fit into a much vaster universe, an amazingly intricate web of interconnectedness beyond your limited human comprehension? This notion may hold tremendously important meanings for you: that you are not alone, you belong in this life, and are very important in the grand God scheme.

4) Is there something you read that you can discuss with another person? You may feel a little shy at first, but you’ll be surprised to discover you have friends who enjoy comparing notes about their own efforts to find meaning and direction for their lives.


If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Get Real, Be Real

Tell the truth today, as much as possible, in every instance. Say what you're really feeling and thinking -- unless it would actually hurt someone for them to hear it.

If you find it hard to reveal your true thoughts, at least start by being totally real to yourself. Tell yourself exactly what you think and feel.

The more real we are, the less we have to worry about hiding, or covering up for our shame, guilt, or embarrassment.

Eating too much and making ourselves fat is, in another way, hiding from life. We're avoiding showing or being the true, real, healthy selves we were created to be.


If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Have You Felt God's Presence?

Have you felt the presence of Spirit before? If not, why not test it out right now, as you're reading this...Ask God to reveal Himself (or Herself or however you experience a spiritual presence). Go ahead, close your eyes for a second and silently ask inside your mind (as if God Herself/Himself is listening) for that tiny seed of Spirit to show itself. If you like, try putting the request in the form of a prayer. In other words, make the prayer a request for something, like "HELP!" Or just simply, "I want to know you're there, Spirit."


How can you avoid overeating when you go to a restaurant?
Try this one: "I need help, please. Would you help me, please ______ (name the Power you believe in). I am open and willing to believe that you can help me."

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

How to Simplify

May I suggest that you un-complicate your life?

Keep things on the simple side. Try to see difficult, all-consuming problems in another light--as the sum of a lot of little parts. Break down tasks into manageable, little steps.

Only do things that are going to bring you joy, peace, and prosperity. Don't do it unless there's some good to come of it. Don't do anything out of guilt, shame, resentment, anger, dread, hostility, or if you are forced or coerced.

Look at your schedule, and everything you want or need to do today. Is everything on that big list completely necessary? Can some things wait, or be put aside?

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Boost Your Energy

Sometimes, getting an energy boost during the day is necessary. A lot of people look to a snack or drink to give it to them. Sugar, or carbohydrates give only a short burst of energy.

Try some alternative energy sources like these: Go for a five minute walk. If you don’t have even 5 minutes to spare, just step outside and take a minute to really look around and savor the day. Drink a large glass of water. Do three minutes of deep breathing. Dance to a tune on the radio. Take a short nap. These are all non-caloric, but I warn you, they may be habit forming!

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Treat Food As Sacred

When I see trees and grass and birds and the sky and living things -- I get that exciting feeling that I am One with all of Nature. When I breathe fresh air in and out, and drink in the sky's pure sunlight with my eyes, I feel the connection and the loving power of God.

When I eat, it's a spiritual activity. It used to be entertainment and emotional salve. Now I know that I'm taking in life energy, and that it's giving me the same in return. Food is precious, and I take it very seriously.

Now, every time I eat I thank God for the physical and spiritual nourishment I am about to receive. As a Christian, food has become a symbol of Holy Communion with God for me. My Jewish friends have invited me to spiritual feasts, such as Passover, symbolizing God’s presence and Love. I went to a Hindu temple and ate some food called Prasada, holy food offered to Hindu deities and then shared among worshippers as a form of grace. I also have taken courses in Buddhist practice, and shared a spiritual meal, using only one bowl.


If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Learn to Love Yourself

Quick, think of three things that are good about yourself. Remind yourself of these things all day today, at every given opportunity. Go ahead, give yourself some compliments (even though it may be hard at first).

If you need prompting, chose three descriptions from this list that apply to you: sincere, prompt, truthful, caring, attentive, smart, good hair, beautiful blue (or brown or green) eyes, precise, diligent, great sense of humor, peaceful, patient, proud, friendly, fastidious, childlike, poetic, hard-working, tall, sweet, creative, neighborly, green-thumb, witty, resourceful, good cook...That's only a starter list of possibilities!

It's way too easy to be self-critical, and hard on oneself.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

How Did Your Childhood Affect You?

Who in your childhood was good and loving to you? Your Mom or your Dad (or both)? Who wasn't such a good parent? (Few people have ideal parents, these days. Unfortunately. They may try their best, but no one is perfect.)

Take the time today to speak with the parent you feel closer to, and talk about what it was like when you were first born. Tell them you've been thinking a lot about it recently. Ask them about your eating patterns. Were you breast or bottle fed? Did they hold you? Did they enjoy being parents? What were the challenges? What were they especially good at, and what could they have done better?

What was your relationship with food while growing up? What did eating mean? What events took place around it?

Having a conversation like this with a childhood care-provider or parent can illuminate a lot of details about why you're struggling with an overweight problem today. (If your parents aren't available or are unwilling, talk to an older sibling or relative.) This will be highly productive material.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[free2bunme]

Ask For Help

If you cannot manage to lose weight yourself, if all of your past attempts have failed, then ask for help. (You are by no means alone. Hardly anyone with weight issues changes all by themselves. Successful losers do it with help.)

Don't be afraid. You're not a failure if you get help -- you're actually strong and successful. You'll succeed through the support of others.

There is help available from many sources: a friend, family member, therapist, a pastoral counselor, minister, rabbi, registered dietician, physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, imam, sensei, monk or nun.

If you have questions for Norris, send them to:
asknorris@staff.beliefnet.com

[stevejack]

hi there...

I would like to lose like 30-40 pounds soon. Like starting now. I am 14 and i am 5*7 and I weigh 142 pounds. I gained a lot of weight because i started drinking this juice that i didn't know had weight gainer in it but i now stopped. [it was on accident]
What are some ways to get into shape, and lose a lot of weight. I am a vegetarian so don't say chicken and things like that....can it be done through norris....?