Feeling lost and invisable

[James.F]

:sad: :44: :sad: :frown: Hi,having a miserable day.They say that you should talk about how you are feeling,and not to hold things in.I have been in ahome for recovering alcoholics and addicts for 6 months on wednesday.Today i tried that and it made me feel worse instead of better.Some people made comments like grow up,stop having a hissy fit.For years i have had problems with expressing myself and used drugs and booze to cover up the feelings of being lost,unimportant,disliked,angry,ashamed of being me.What happened today reafirmed all those feelings again.I feel like im invisable,not wanted,worthless and feel like i should just say"screw it all"and go on another tear.This depression always kicks in when i start to feel a little better then knocks me back down harder everytime.I am beginning to think i will never get over this and that it might be whats ment to be.The lonelyness and lack of sleep are really starting to wear on me.Still trying to get some professional help but this is CapeBreton.Any suggestions James.F:9: :9: :8:

[fibiray]

Hi james, a lot of the feelings that you have been expressing sound like they have been inflicted upon you by someone at some point in time. these feelings can be quite toxic to the soul and often lead to depression. It is my belief that you give your power away whe you give into these feelings, as you are reinforcing what has been instilled into you. I have experienced similar symptoms myself and I found that the only way I could combat thems was by changing my attitude towards them and choosing to see things positiviely. Keep coming back and sharing and your time where you are should be taken full advantage of as it is leading you to a life that you can never dream of, recovery.

God bless

Fi
xxx

[flickchic]

Hi James, nice to meet you,

I'm Felicity, in Aust. I'm an addict...drugs and drink....

WOW 6months.......TOP STUFF!!!!:1: :29: :29:

Hey, pllllllleeeeease DO NOT STOP TALKING!!!!! share, share, share!!!!!, i know it's not the same as f2f, BUT WE ARE HERE FOR YOU BROTHER!!!!!

Hmmm, does not sound as if you are getting the support you obviously need at the moment; 'grow up' in particular bites me....not what we need to hear, sure we have work to do on ourselves, keep the mirror in mind James.....often what we hear from another in their own sickness is them mirroring themselves...hang on to that!!!....it is the same of course for us.....something I still struggle with on and off, however have heard it, read it, seen it for myself is that often we can learn a lot from others if we 'listen hard' we will hear the messages been given us.....those "others" may not be our choice of whom we want to be with, however I feel that God /your HP puts everyone in our paths that He does for good reasons.

Please know that YOU are important, you're as important and worthy as anybody else in this universe.....trust in that!!!!:1: :1: :42: :42:

those 'messages' you heard today that you feel have re-affirmed your negative thinking of yourself, would they have all come from others in sickness????......let them go James, hard I know, however I feel it may well be because "you" are making an effort, and effort to share, to be open, to be vulnerable, and 'maybe' they are scared of this, when we say things that make others feel uncomfortable within themselves, especially other addicts that are still in denial, the last thing they want to hear is anything that may make them look at themselves!!!!!!

ok, all said and done, not sure if it helps in the immediate, some things to think over however.

I am beginning to think i will never get over this and that it might be whats ment to be.:sad: :sad: No way bro, reckon you'd be in recovery if you weren't a meant to be?????.....don't reckon you'd be here either if you weren't a meant to be....TRUST ME....IT DOES AND WILL GET BETTER....those words; ONE DAY AT A TIME......keep on saying them over and over......stay here in today, I am here right now, this is where I need to be!!!!!.....physically, mentally and emotionally, hold yourself in today!!!!!

I have found the Serenity Prayer to be my sanity over the years.....and plllllleeeeease at the end of the day HANG IN THERE.....I've just come out of a relapse, after nearly 7 years clean and am still detoxing.....OH gosh, let me share; it is not worth going back to death!!!!!.....and if you and I both, don't stick with this that's surely where we will be headed.

I am with you bro.

Do you have a sponsor and does the home you are in support the Step work, and are you able to or do they hold meetings????.....these things are soooooooo important to our recovery!!!!

okay gotta scoot, keep on coming back James and reach out, share all you like.....we're a listening!!!!:42: :42:

[admin]

Hi James, I shared with my sponsor once about something someone said to me while at a meeting which hurt my feelings. She replied that we are very sensitive when we first come into recovery and as we go along our skin will toughen and my has some. Now with that said, James, you have a right to feel whatever you are feeling. In recovery you will meet all kinds of people as you do out in the big world. Some folks give what they call tough love; others are more gentler, loving and understanding. I prefer the latter. But I have had some of those who give tough love say some things to me that I didn't particularly like to hear but it got my butt in gear to do something about myself. It can be scary opening up to others about ourselves because we are never for sure what response we will get so be prepared for everything. There is a saying in recovery "take what you need and leave the rest." I like the one that is "take what you need and store the rest" because I never know what I might need later. Also in recovery as well as learning from others how I would like to be, I have also learned from others how I would NOT like to be. Just keep hanging in there ((((James)))) and remember you have a right to your feelings whatever they might be. I didn't get like I was overnight when I came to AA, so it will take time for me to get better and that is an ongoing process. Somedays I am better than other days. Just ask some of the folks here. :lol: We strive for progress not perfection. :42: Keep coming back and sharing with us.

Love,
Tammy

[Doraine]

Hi James
Early recovery is tough. The bad feelings about yourself won't go away overnight. It takes time to heal and begin to love yourself. Are you working the steps?

[janbear]

Hi James, a lot of good things have been shared with you, i so hope you can take them in. :42:

[mellotripp]

Hi James, a soon as you come out of that recovery center, get yourself into a real meeting. A real meeting will help you see you need to grow up and not tell you, that is what I need to do, if you do. Not all the people in those recovery centers know what recovery is all about. Many are just as new as you. Maturity in the program, comes thru the time we have living this way of life, so patience is not a suggestion but a must. If you dont have patience you will be miserable, and this does not necessarily mean you have to drink or use, it just means you don't have to be miserable. So keep your chin up. hold on tight you could have begun the ride of your life.