Jan. 7-14

[snugsnug]

When in your life have you felt closest to God? What made God so personal and real at that time?

[snugsnug]

When in your life have you felt closest to God? What made God so personal and real at that time?

I have to answer these questions as if I did not know there was a God before I got clean. I felt closest to God many times this past year, 2006. The closest was when Beckye was diagnosed with this cancer stuff, and while I was waiting in the waiting room for her surgeries, four and a half hours, ten hours, six hours,with no word of how she was doing. My desire to use was eating at me, I tried to convince my self that one more would help me get through this waiting. But I started to pray, just kind of thinking about God and Jesus, and all the blessings he has provided for us, and for those times, my desire left me. God put the thought of calling Tammy and Jan in my mind, so I did, God put people in my life that would share this pain, so that it could be lessoned. During these times, God would fill my mind with memories, or thoughts of what life will be like when we get through all of this. And just for today, we have a pretty decent life, with out the use of drugs.

[Torker]

When I was young I went to church every Sunday as most children did when there moms dragged us with them. As a child I never really understood what God was all about, I mean there was a priest up there telling me everything he thought I needed to know about God and reading from scriptures giving us in the parrish his views on what he was reading. I am not a religous person, I am a spiritual person and truely believe there has to be something more than what we see, I mean something put us here right? I think the time I was closest to God was when my Daughter was born, see the miracle of childbirth is something that, to me, is truely a miracle. Maybe its Gods will for us to be there for that or maybe its Gods will to put this thread up today. I feel that there has to be something more and maybe I just havent found it yet. I hope to one day find the love of Christ and hope you all will be here when it happens. I think right now there is a resentment for what I have been through in the past and Im not ready to forgive yet. Someone told me that the only way to begin your recovery is to forgive yourself what you put yourself through, you can say your sorry to everyone you have wronged in the past but if you dont forgive yourself how can you expect anyone else to forgive you. I am getting to the point of forgiving myself so hopefully this will help my recovery mature so I can take steps in a forward direction in sted of sitting here idle.
Anyways, dont know if I hit the topic but it had to come out.

[peajaye]

It is hard to pinpoint any one time that I've felt closest to God, because there have been so many. Since accepting Christ as my savior when I was 12, there have been many times I've felt close to God, but many, many times that I moved away. When I drank and used, I still prayed, but only to get me out of this jam or that trouble. Even still, I remember holding my newborn daughter, remembering that in the Bible it says that if any of you lack wisdom, just ask. I did ask for wisdom in raising my daughter and she is 24 now. She has issues like I had issues, but she too loves Jesus. There was a time that I acknowledged the severity of my "trust issues" and said to God that I didn't even know what trust was. Out of the clear blue, he said to me that t r u s t was total release unto stable truths. I immediately began to think about the stable truths that I knew...God is love. God loves me.

I had the good fortune to grow up where spirituality was modeled for me. They were not perfect and had their own problems, but they taught me the love and forgiveness of God.

There came a time when I lived in the darkness of addiction that I knew that I knew that I knew that God loved me the same whether I ever got sober or not. That somehow gave me the freedom to seek out help. I needed to get a new concept of God, so I played around with different concepts until I went full circle and ended up right back where I started...Jesus Christ.

[fibiray]

I guess there have been many situations where I have felt god the closest. When I gave birth to my son in 1990 and I was nearly dead on the operating table would have to be the closest to date. Every time that i meditate I get a sense of closeness to god, as this is a time when I am listening to god. Having said this I have this sticker on my computer that reads, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen - Hebbrcus 11:1. Its when things eems there worse and having the fundamental belief that all is well is when I am closest to my higher power.

thats me.

[janbear]

Well, to be honest, this morning :1:

Though i was raised up in religion i didnt necessarily feel close to God. I had a sense of who God was, but thats it. I had a spiriutal experinece at 17 that brought me to my knees seeking this God i already knew about. But my addiction continued. In my own warped mind, i thought he let me down, but He didnt. Unknown to me at the time, He spared me from so much in my addiction. I should have been in prision, or dead. I should have lost everything, but the experience i had with God made a difference that i became aware of when i entered Recovery. Through recovery my spirituality has increased because i put God in place of the drugs, alcohol, and everything else. AA and NA revealed that hole in my soul and showed me a Higher Power would fill my hole. My Higher Power filled that hole. Today i continue to fill that hole with recovery and God's word. As i continue my recovery journey He gives me much spiriutual experiences and everytime i have one that is when i feel the closest. they get better all the time as long as i stay in contact and do maintenace.

[admin]

I had one of those experiences yesterday morning - feeling so very close to God. I never know when they will happen - they just happen. Sometimes it is while listening to music, or reading a meditation or talking with others or praying or reading a book or reading the Bible or being reminded of where I have been and where I am now or while out walking or feeling the wind and/or the rain or feeling the sun on my face or watching a sunrise or sunset or looking at the night sky - so many different things can bring it on. The most important thing for me is to stay open to God, to continue to read the Bible, to continue to pray, to continue seeking and the closeness will continue to grow. I feel a stirring right now while typing this. :D

[Prescott]

:11: Good Morning Group :42: :D :42:
I have always felt there was a "God" and I have been always searching for a spiritual connection. I can remember when I was in the locked down psych ward loosing my mind and unable to do anything about it I finally gave up.
I was 48 and had lost everything many times over and now I was loosing my mind. I prayed a simple prayer "Show me the way" I was lead from the psych ward into a recovery program in another part of the psych ward. This is where my faith took roots. I saw "God" working in others lives and if it could work for them maybe just maybe it could work for me. Actively working the steps brought me closer and closer to "God" over time. There where many little things when looked at together where amazing :42: As I worked the steps my faith increased. My faith in "God" my faith in the program and in the people working the program. As I got into my 9th step and had to do some serious house cleaning I took a leap of faith many times. To this day I still amazed cause I always landed on my feet. :42: :195: :42:

[Pam S.]

Hi All! I guess I feel closest to God when I'm on my face praying to Him at night, or when I'm driving and praying. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
I like being in a prayer circle, holding hands and feeling God's presence in the room. I think I feel close to God most of the time, but more so when I'm praying. I try not to stray too far these days. I need Him close by. He keeps me sober.
Have a great day in the Lord!
Pam

[sioux]

I have felt the nearness of the Creator in the dessert, the morning, when the snow if falling and there is nothing but quite and stillness.

I have felt the nearness of the Creator in hours of despair, and in times of great joy. Strength, courage, peace and comfort...do nto come from me. Never have.

I witness these things in AA meetings; in the eyes of the angry member that has fought tooth and nail for three years of sobriety and awakens to realize that the fight is not essential.

I feel nearness to the creator when the kitty I rescuted smiles at me.

[clean42day]

The one time that I felt the closest to god that was the beginning of my turning point was during a near death experience when someone tried to take my life; where I left my body, was aware of my soul, and felt I was being rocked in the palm of God's hand. That is what 'confirmed' god's pressence in my life.

after that experience...the next time I felt as close to him as that was when I spent the last three weeks of my final surrender in jail. I vaguely remember being in jail..but I do remember the peace that I felt in surrendering my life to him.

Most of the time these days....I feel closest to him in my dark moments and my joyfilled moments. I am sure he is with me throughout all my days....but it is only when I reach for him that I feel closest. as usual I am the one that moves away...not him.

light and love

Gail

[mellotripp]

My church had suffered a separation, and I thought I needed to bring it back together to stop the Persian Gulf War of 1991. On the 28th of February the war stopped and I wondered how this could have happened without me. On the third day I saw that my sponsor with his sobriety date of April Fools, plus the Arch over March of truth marching on, and the 28 of February, gave me a visible version of God that did not come from the Bible but the AA Big Book. This spiritual experience was not enough to remove all my doubts.

[Milkman]

Hey Snug, ya know, I've been thinking about this thread all week, kept coming back to it several times, hoping a new one would be up.

I don't really have any answers as far as the questions go, but thought I'd share just a tad about my past relations with God.

I was baptized a Catholic as an infant, put in a foster home at age 3 untill age 9, where I lived with a woman and her husband, A Jewish fella, and then remarried a Japanese fella when I was about 5 or 6. They were heavy in the Baptist Church, and I was baptized there at age 6, attended Sunday School and church funtions, played the accordion on Sundays at the church and so on and so on. They became preachers there, and I lived a very religious life untill age 9, when my mother came and got me.

I started attending Catechims, made my communion and confirmation and attended Church weekly.

So, what I'm trying to say, I reckon, is that my early childhood was filled with a lot of religious background and the information was there in regards to what the Church was all about. I forgot to mention, that at age 15, I met met my real father, and my grandparents, who were Jehova Witnesses.

Now, my first REAL encounter with God, as I recall, was praying to him to wake me out of my dream, after my mother came and got me from my foster mother, who at that time, I believed was my real mother. That was at age 9, and he oviously didn't hear me, or so I thought.

After I moved out on my own, my contact with God ceased all together, or so I thought.

My next consious contact with God, was when we lost our first son from an accident in 1980. He was 11 years old. Again, he didn't hear my prayers, as there was no reason in MY mind, why he was taken at such an early age.

So I went thru the next few years, carrying guilt of myself, and hatred? (loss of another word), to my God for dealing what I was dealt in my life.

In 2000, I went to CRC State Program, and another inmate was doing a mail in bible study. For some reason, I started it myself and continued it even when I was released. To ME, this helped put me back in touch with my God, and with my 12 step work and recovery, have gotten back to praying to my God. I pray every night to him, and have come to believe that what has happened in my life, was for a reason. I may not ever know what that reason is, but I try to live my life to it's fullest, each and every day.
This might have gotten a little long, but I needed to put it down as I see it.

Milkman:195: