Reflections for Everyday of the Year

[janbear]

Note: The "Thoughts of the Day" are from members of various 12 step programs. Some are A.A., some Al-Anon, and some Adult Children of Alcoholics. Take what you need and leave the rest!


Candy Says: I always thought I was a great mother, until I stopped drinking, and realized that I was not a mother at all. I put my drinking first, and my children came second. I was a black out drinker, and sometimes couldn't even remember if I put my children to bed. I am a mother of two, and have put my children in so many dangerous situations because of my drinking and drugging, and thanks to AA, I am now living a sober life, and my children are finally safe!

[janbear]

Paige M. Says: When I fail to spend time in spiritual areas of my life I tend to take it all on myself which has led me to poor choices in the past three months. When I read my Big Book daily on surrendering I find the days much less challenging and I remain focused. Graditude too is a daily part of each morning, reflecting on the blessings I have and not what I want to desire in the 'now.' I find freedom, release, peace and joy through this program and for that I am grateful today!

[janbear]

Karen Says: Just for today I was thinking that one of the things I love about Al-Anon is there are no rules, just suggestions. I was also thinking that even my Higher Power doesn't force me to do anything. I always have choices, and there are no "musts" in Al-anon. That gentleness, attractiveness and non-controlling atmosphere keep me coming back every time. If I had been told I had to do this or that when I came in, I probably would have left long ago.

[janbear]

Michael M. Says: I have found through my journey in recovery that when I have the spiritual aspects running with me I seem to be okay but, when I have not; there might be trouble. No God, no peace. Know God, know peace.

[janbear]

Viviane Says: These past two years have been challenging, difficult and hard, but by far also the very best two years of my adult life. Life has not become easier, but so very much better. Through AA I have had the opportunity to learn new ways of looking at life that reach far beyond just my dealing with addiction, but that made it possible to gain a completely new outlook at every single day of my life.

[janbear]

Melinda E. Says: My dependence on accomplishments and awards defined my existence. And they were fleeting, few, and far-apart. I slowly realized that I was not living my life. I was enduring it. I had no joy. I am trying to experience life to the fullest now. I am surrounding myself with the Experience, Strength, and Hope of the fellowship that surrounds me in this program. I am feeling peace within myself and a feeling that my life does have meaning. I am no longer marking time.

[janbear]

Sandman Says: I drove to my first Al-Anon meeting, and sat in the parking lot to petrified to leave my car. Twenty years later, I finally walked through the door. Six months after my first meeting, I realized this program is about understanding myself, and alcoholism, no matter how long it took me to get here, and no matter how long it takes. I am forever grateful

[janbear]

Ted Says: One year ago today, after throwing up during a brown out at work, I was escorted to a testing facility where I promptly blew a .27. I subsequently lost a $60K position with a Fortune 20 company, and entered "shangra-la" for a week of "reflection." What a difference a year makes. To all of those who have shared their experience, strength and hope, and most of all to that which created me and guides me, I say thank you.

[janbear]

Chrsitine S. Says: I can't believe the power of a 12 step program. I'm so glad I lived to enjoy life sober. I don't want material things, I'm not preoccupied by money, and I've let go of my "so-called drinking buddies" for favor of real family and friends who are also on the road to recovery. Each day poses and new challenge, but I know with the help of the program and my HP I can do this!

[janbear]

Sikgrl Says: I'm learning to cultivate gratitude for all the experiences my sober life has to offer, whether I like them or not. the reason is that there is a gift in all things, all people, all events, if i will see it. I will not return to the dope house with gratitude for this life and all it has to offer.

[janbear]

Candy Says: I have so much to be thankful for today, and it is because of my higher power, whom I choose to call God, and my wonderful sponsor, and the of course the fellowship of AA. I had never known the true meaning of friendships, or the the true meaning of living, until I came into AA. I have a life today that I never thought possible, all I needed to do was surrender, and realize that I was not alone.

[janbear]

Amy L Says: It never ceases to amaze me how God works through my group. No matter how much we disagree, we always find the love of a forgiving higher power that brings us back into unison. Today I know that God's purpose for me is to live, love, share with others the gift of sobriety I have found through the grace of God.

[janbear]

Ted Says: God has done for me what I could not do for myself. A year ago, I would have said that "peace" is only something that hippies wish upon each other. Today I understand that, if I ask God for another day of sobriety, true peace and happiness will follow.

[janbear]

Radar Says: By attending Al-Anon for the last two years I have found a serenity that I never thought possible. With the strength of my Al-Anon fellowship behind me, I was able to confront both of my parents with what I belive to be true and explain to them how this has affected me. I have learned to focus on what my responsibilty is regarding my character defects. I continue to learn tools that I can use to move on from experiences and have the peace I've sought for so long.

[janbear]

Betty Ann Says: There came a time in my recovery when (through good sponsorship) that I was informed that all resentments are dishonest, because I had either done it, thought about doing it, or was in the process of doing it. The term spot it you got it is how I guage the quality of my recovery in the moment. My attitude, actions and reactions are the only thing in this life that I have any say in, and what other people do or don't do is really not my concern, it's God's.

[janbear]

Carol Says: I'm the wife of an alcoholic and I watch as he deteriorates from this cruel disease. Today he is in much emotional and physical pain as his health is slipping away. But denial keeps him from the reality of his disease. Because of the years I have spent in Al-Anon, I can remove myself from his suffering. I can only hope he will notice what recovery has given me and the spring in my step these days, and want this for himself.

[janbear]

Lori Says: All I have to do is practice the principles I've learned to the best of my ability, and take the recommended suggestions of my sponsor and those with whom I've built relationships with in the program. Unity, service and recovery will come to you if you go to meetings, work the steps with a good sponsor, reach out to others, avail yourself to service and practice return to conscious contact continually. It can happen for anyone!

[janbear]

Betty Ann Says: When life on life's terms seems to overwhelm me it's back to basics for me. Making time for prayer and meditation, meetings, and working with others get me back on track. These simple actions keep me grounded in the reality that I am an alcoholic, and that I can choose to live with an awareness of this spiritual malady, or without the proper maintenence that I can die from it.

[janbear]

Lori Says: All I have to do is practice the principles I've learned to the best of my ability, and take the recommended suggestions of my sponsor and those with whom I've built relationships with in the program. Unity, service and recovery will come to you if you go to meetings, work the steps with a good sponsor, reach out to others, avail yourself to service and practice return to conscious contact continually. It can happen for anyone

[janbear]

Cee Says: I joined Al-Anon because I knew my potential for happiness was great. I just wasn't very happy because I was insane always thinking about the alcoholic in my life. Well, now I think about me. I do things for me now. I go to meetings, I make phone calls, I read lots and lots of Al-Anon literature, and of late, I've gone on-line. I also take pleasure in my children, my husband, my dog, my surroundings, and I thank my higher power every day for everything I do have.

[janbear]

Rock Says: I think we get hung up on terminology sometimes: "Am I an alcoholic? Am I not an alcoholic?" To me, the bottom line was that alcohol was causing me so much pain in my life that I had to stop. Whether or not I'm an alcoholic (and I accept the fact that I am), the simple fact was that I had to stop drinking to maintain my marriage and my sanity. If you're questioning the role alcohol plays in your life, then maybe it is time to make some strong changes.

[janbear]

Roselle Says: One of the affirmations I've often used when overwhelmed with 'whatever' is: "I'm a beloved child of the universe." I'd repeat it to myself, silently or out loud, until any feelings of anxiety would disappear. Sometimes this affirmation brought up strong feelings, sometimes tears.

[janbear]

Carol D. Says: I read a book "Under The Influence" by Milam and Ketcham that proved to my satisfaction that I suffer from a deadly progressive disease. That information... coupled with a new resolve to follow the tenets of AA has been my salvation. Each day without alcohol is a victory. My depression left quickly once I cleared my mind and body of booze. My life is full of purpose and joy.

[janbear]

Cee Says: Well, for me, what was driving me crazy (him too) was the nagging, worrying, arguing over the finances. He did the spending while I did the saving, scrimping, and *****ing. My life changed dramatically when I decided to get my own bank account, my own credit margin, and my own responsibilities. Yeehaw! I achieved so much serenity in changing what I could.

[janbear]

Val Says: What made me start thinking about quitting was reading an article about a woman dying of cirrhosis of the liver. The article was written by the woman's daughter who was taking care of her sick mother. She said she never saw her mother actually drunk, but her mother drank secretly and constantly for years and years. This is how I felt about drinking. I thought I had it under control.

[janbear]

Rover Says: Never in my 30 years of drinking had I considered myself an alcoholic, despite going through two marriages, several homes, many auto accidents, and 53 different jobs. But listening to those Al-Anons discuss their significant others brought about a change. As they talked the thought ran through my mind that if the men they were discussing were alcoholics then surely that is what I must be. Went to an AA meeting the next night

[janbear]

Lorin Says: They agreed to allow me to call the Employee Assistance folks. I called them, to ask for therapy. The woman who answered's first question was whether I drank. I said yes. She then asked how much I drank. Not wanting to disturb her, I cut my drinking in half in my answer. Imagine my shock when she immediately responded that she thought I should go into a 28-day rehab

[janbear]

Jack P. Says: I learned how to live a sane and reasonably happy life from people in AA, AA literature and several excellent therapists. I am far from perfect and neither is my life, but I feel much more confident about my ability to handle my problems.

[janbear]

Bryan Says: So why did I stop? To state it simply, I woke up. I realized that alcohol dominated my life and that I would never be able to change that. I realized that I was driving away my wife and children and that eventually I wouldn't care. I realized that my life had no meaning -- I lived to drink and nothing else mattered. The enormity of my problem crashed in upon me like it never had before. Alcohol could no longer effectively block it out.

[janbear]

Roselle Says: I learned that I don't have to defend my choices towards anyone, not even my mother. That if they don't like it, it's their problem. That yes, I'd like acceptance but I don't need it from others, for I am already accepted by the One who counts. Actually two-in-one: God and myself.

[janbear]

Bonnie Says: I should have been happier but some spark was missing. I wanted it to be GOOD again, not just an emotionally flat merry-go-round. I really wanted to be in the game mind, body and spirit. Alcohol was keeping me from doing that. I'm very new (only 4 months) at this but it's made a big difference in the quality of my life. The numbing effect of alcohol never allowed me to experience the day to day joys.

[janbear]

Bryan Says: The steps have given me a connection with God like I've never had before, and as a result I'm usually at peace with myself and those around. As a result, I tend to create fewer dilemmas in my life. Before the steps could change me, I had help from other members of AA, the fellowship. I have many AA friends who can share valuable experience with me or just be there when I'm hurting. They give me hope that I can get through hard times because they've already done it.

[janbear]

Terri F. Says: I fought going to an AA meeting as hard as I fought (afterwards for 3 years), going into treatment. I was scared, embarrased, beat down, and totally and completely ashamed. They call it "incomprehensible demoralization." I bet you can relate? I was frightened to death but more frightened to continue on living the way I had been.

[janbear]

Mark R. Says: After 13 months of sobriety, working the program, taking direction, it is amazing the changes in myself when I look back. Gone is the feeling of dread, the fear of people and social situations. I still have bad days here and there, but I know now that they pass. I would take 25 bad sober days in a row over one day filled with the dread, remorse, guilt and lonliness I used to have.

[janbear]

Roselle Says: I used to try to deny or excuse the things he did that hurt, but that didn't do anything to heal my hurt. When I came out with my true feelings and honestly 'told' him I was hurt and angry, he came back with his true feelings. The wrongs are never made right, but the love and forgiveness puts them in the past and out of today's 'processing memory.'

[janbear]

Lori Says: All I have to do is practice the principles I've learned to the best of my ability, and take the recommended suggestions of my sponsor and those with whom I've built relationships with in the program. Unity, service and recovery will come to you if you go to meetings, work the steps with a good sponsor, reach out to others, avail yourself to service and practice return to conscious contact continually. It can happen for anyone!

[janbear]

Betty Ann Says: When life on life's terms seems to overwhelm me it's back to basics for me. Making time for prayer and meditation, meetings, and working with others get me back on track. These simple actions keep me grounded in the reality that I am an alcoholic, and that I can choose to live with an awareness of this spiritual malady, or without the proper maintenence that I can die from it.

[janbear]

Larry Says: My shrink also sent me to AA and I felt embarrassed about going. I was okay with my friends, family, and neighbors seeing me act like a drunk, but I sure wouldn't want them to know I went to AA! I was such a wuss I took my wife with me to an open meeting. We met people we knew there, and after going through the "Oh my, I didn't want anyone I know to see me here," I realized that they were alkies too and that the second "A" in AA stands for "anonymous." I quickly became comfortable.

[janbear]

Rose R. Says: Personally, I choose to use the disease concept when thinking about alcoholism. It's something I've found useful for my own recovery, that's all. I don't feel any urges to prove what I believe in. And I don't think you should have to prove what you believe in either. We share something in common: devastating pain from someone else's addictions.

[janbear]

Rose R. Says: Personally, I choose to use the disease concept when thinking about alcoholism. It's something I've found useful for my own recovery, that's all. I don't feel any urges to prove what I believe in. And I don't think you should have to prove what you believe in either. We share something in common: devastating pain from someone else's addictions.

[janbear]

Lorin Says: I said my first name, and said I was an alcoholic. I didn't hear anything the rest of the meeting. As soon as it was over, I bolted. Decided to try to handle it on my own. And for a few months, I did. One day, a friend of mine asked if I wanted a drink, and I said "sure." It took until I was 29 until I was beat down enough not to care what anybody else thought. I just flat out needed help, and wanted help. I went back to AA, and folks took me in and helped me. That was 13 years ago

[janbear]

Larry Says: Spirituality does not require the belief in a God, gods, or a higher power. While most religious practice is spiritual, there is much spirituality that is not religious unless "religious" is defined so broadly as to become almost meaningless. For example, I would consider meditation a spiritual practice, yet it can be done without any religious feelings whatsoever. Washing the dishes can be done "spiritually" if one employs "mindfulness" techniques

[janbear]

August 1

From my own personal experience, I tried controlling my drinking on lots of occasions. I went to counselors who tried cognitive therapies to reframe my "thoughts" surrounding drinking; sometimes it worked however, eventually I always got drunk. I got to a point where trying to control my drinking was exhausting and I always felt like a failure when I didn't manage my drinking.


Posted by Ralph

[janbear]

August 2

If I could stop at only one or two drinks I would NOT be an alcoholic. Once I take the first drink a physiological change occurs and I recognize it as "the phenomenon of craving." As with any addiction it becomes a mental as well as a physical obsession.

Posted by Magic

[marcie marie]

Note: The "Thoughts of the Day" are from members of various 12 step programs. Some are A.A., some Al-Anon, and some Adult Children of Alcoholics. Take what you need and leave the rest!


Candy Says: I always thought I was a great mother, until I stopped drinking, and realized that I was not a mother at all. I put my drinking first, and my children came second. I was a black out drinker, and sometimes couldn't even remember if I put my children to bed. I am a mother of two, and have put my children in so many dangerous situations because of my drinking and drugging, and thanks to AA, I am now living a sober life, and my children are finally safe!

Marcie/alcoholic/attick.This hits a cord.I have lost 2 children due to my drinking drugging I have managed to keep one of them.Thank God I have AA,my message to others is please dont pick up that first drink ,you take the chance of dropping into that horrible state of hopelessness(where nothing seems possible ever.)I did for 21 years and longer.It has not been an easy thing to live with but God Willing they may come looking for me in my furture and I will be sober.thankyou for letting me share

[janbear]

August 3

The first thing to be affected by the use of alcohol is our judgement! Everyone I know who is serious about recovery is certain to admit his/her responsibility for their actions. We cannot work a fourth step without looking at ourselves and the part we played in everthing that has happened in our lives.


Posted by Magic

[janbear]

August 4

There's a million ways to stop a fight from starting; for protecting myself from emotional injury; for keeping a hurtful situation from turning into a real deep-down pain festival. I wish I followed my own advice every single time.


Posted by Rose

[admin]

August 5

I told my sponsor I'd never do any of the amends ... that changing my attitudes and behaviours was just going to have to do. Wrong! She laughed at me and said I'd do just fine if I relaxed and waited for opportunities to pop up.

Posted by Rose

[janbear]

August 6

No one gives up their religious freedom when they walk into a 12 step meeting, and no one asks them to either. We just share what worked for us.


Posted by Buddy

[janbear]

August 7

The program has given me so many blessings in my life, just the ability and the humility to recognize when I am being self-righteous is a gift. I never could when I was drinking.


Posted by Becky

[janbear]

August 8

I did not even take the time to write it down. I just hunted people down and apologized ... sincerely to them. I found it impossible to not immediately apologize to all of those I could find on my list as soon as I could get in touch with them.


Posted by Mascot

[janbear]

August 9

Hearing others share their experience gave real life examples of what they were going through. They shared how they found solutions through working the steps and pointed out excerpts in the Big Book that guided them to those solutions. And, finally the hope of staying sober one day at a time, the happy, peaceful and productive days I had to look forward to if I just didn't drink that day.


Posted by Magic

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

August 10

The tough part for me on the fourth step is just recognizing and accepting things and then understanding that I have to change myself. This is character building. I have learned too that God places me in circumstances and places that will challenge me to change the way I handle those circumstances.


Posted by Carolyn

[free2bunme]

I have learned too that God places me in circumstances and places that will challenge me to change the way I handle those circumstances.

:1:

[janbear]

So true Frannie

[janbear]

August 11

Well, because I didnt take it "seriously." I turned from an "entry level" alcoholic into a "professional" alcoholic. I do attend meeings now. I work the 12 steps. I spoke three times in my first meetings and all I want to say it "Thank God" for sobriety


Posted by George

[janbear]

August 12

My sponsor and I are not close friends. We do nothing together but 12 step meetings and 12 step work. We are almost completely opposite. We do not travel in the same circles. We are of very different ages and backgrounds. The only things we have in common are the 12 steps, we are both women, and we live in the same town. I am starting to like her as I get to know her better, but the only thing I knew about her when I asked her to help me is that she had something I wanted.

Posted by Mascot

[janbear]

August 13

If the disease concept doesn't work for you, let it go. No one says you have to believe anything. More importantly, I have found that the 'whys' of my drinking were interesting, but irrelevant. What I needed was some practical tools for permanent sobriety. That I found in the 12 steps.


Posted by Oaktree

[janbear]

August 14

I see a character strength I truly admire in someone else. I'd like to have it for my own. I have no foggy clue what it feels like nor looks like to act in that manner. So? I act as if I already have that strength and see how it works. In time, it'll either be discarded or become part of me. The belief has now followed the act.


Posted by Rose

[janbear]

August 15

It's okay today for me to make one decision and if it turns out the be the wrong one back up and apply the Step 10 principle and admit it was wrong and get it right the next time.


Posted by Buddy

[janbear]

August 16

I halfheartedly started working the steps, pretty much because I didn't know what else to do, and somewhere along the line it hit me: I was an alcoholic, just like everyone else in AA. The fact that I hid it well didn't change the facts.


Posted by Claire

[janbear]

August 17

My sponsor reminded me more than once, "You have no guilt or glory in someone else's sobriety". In other words, I can't get a person drunk nor can I get them sober.


Posted by Magic

[janbear]

August 18

Friendship is fine, however, sponsorship is another thing. I can sponsor some people and never be friends with them. On the other hand I have life long friends that I have sponsored.


Posted by Richard

[janbear]

August 19

The frist step has always been the one that I have always looked at as my favorite. It was the first time I was ever honest with me or anyone else. When I did look at that step, I thought, gee how simple, how come I never thought about that?


Posted by Skip

[janbear]

August 20

Today I know that I am an addict through and through and my disease will latch onto anything self destructive. I am doing my best to work through my underlying issues, to accept painful challenges and to continue to do the next right thing.


Posted by Lake Ladey

[janbear]

August 21

I started Al-Anon when he was in the hospital and I found it to be a big help. Before I wouldn't go anywhere especially with him. I just sat here and worried about him, his job and our marriage. Now I do what I want.


Posted by Diane

[janbear]

August 22

"Cured" of alcoholism would mean that I could go drink like a NON alcoholic. I do not believe that I am "cured". However, I AM "recovered" in the sense that I am not driven to take that first drink today, nor have I been for some time.


Posted by Jeff

[janbear]

August 23

When I first came into the program I basically traded one addiction for another. You know, just another way of running. It wasn't until after multiple relapses that I was finally able to confront all the issues, and I mean all of them!


Posted by Mascot

[admin]

Recovery Thought of the Day
August 24

On his death bed he admitted to his daughter that he was an alcoholic and had tried to stop drinking for years but couldn't and could not go to AA. The disease of alcoholism (not the drinking) is powerful, baffling and uncontrollable. The disease is what controlled his anger, his fears, not him.

Posted by Edie

[admin]

August 25

When my fiancee got killed by a drunk driver, I did what we alcoholics do DRINK. After 8 months of drinking I asked GOD for help. He did, but first I had to thoroughly believe I was powerless over alcohol.

Today, seven years later, when I am asked by others to help them take the steps, I state how important that first half of the 1st step is, and how thoroughly it must be done.

Posted by Nury

[admin]

August 26

One friend would have had 30 years this year but he chose to take his life, as a result of the misery that drinking brought back into his life. I have been coming regularly for 11 years now, and am finding that even though at times, I feel it's a job to make myself go, meetings are more and more important to my maintaining continuous sobriety.

Posted by Miss S.

[janbear]

August 27

He needed nine more years of sobriety, relapse, sobriety, relapse before he attained continuous sobriety and today he's got 15.5 years. I can smile and say God Bless him now but I sure couldn't do that years ago. Notice that I said "he needed" those nine in-out years? I think it's what had to happen for him to realize how much more he needed sobriety than addiction.

Once he was finally brought to his knees, he was able to grab and hang onto the program. It took what it took and today I'm quite proud of him.


Posted by Rose R.

[janbear]

August 28

First few years was just dry. When I begin to study the BB and practice the steps, I got sober. My wife described my dryness as "stark raving sobriety" and how right she was. My 4 children had there own description.

However, today, I have 16 grand children and 3 great grand children, and 1 more on the way. Today, we are a "family unit" for the first time! That too, by the grace of God.


Posted by Corky

[janbear]

August 29

When you pretended to believe in God, it was like dailing a phone number while the reciever was still on the hook. But you got through anyway. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?


Posted by GEM

[janbear]

August 30

The tough part for me on the fourth step is just recognizing and accepting things and then understanding that I have to change myself. This is character building. I have learned too that God places me in circumstances and places that will challenge me to change the way I handle those circumstances.


Posted by Carolyn

[admin]

August 31

I love to get up on monday mornings or sunday knowing I did not binge and feeling alive and alert. I love to listen to soothing music and smell the air in the mornings without a hangover and the headaches. I love being myself again but it is not easy the first few miles but when you get there it is wonderful.

Posted by Pam

[flickchic]

:1::D

[janbear]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was able to accept the fact that I had done all that I could do to make amends and that I was not responsible for her accepting it or not. I have walked through the guilt and fears. Now life is better than I ever could have imagined.


Posted by Bill T.

[janbear]

September 2

Alcohol is no longer part of my personal life, but its history of destruction and damage is still in my mind. Strangely my grown children still think of me as a derelict - I am hoping that will change.

With all their variations, faults and failing AA meetings are still about members helping members. They do a great job.


Posted by Larry

[janbear]

Were I to attempt to "sell"--- or even explain ---my beliefs to others, I know that I would come up short. I would not be able to find words to accurately express these spiritual understandings that serve me so well. I would like to better able to explain but simply accept that I cannot.

I feel an incredible and truly precious closeness and intimacy with several recovering friends whose personal spiritual beliefs are radically different from mine. We easily find our common ground and base our relationships on that.


Posted by Harry K.

[janbear]

September 4

I had not been honest about anything for a long, long time. I realized if I was to be successful with the steps I had to be honest. I had to do more than say them. It had to come from the heart.

Posted by Rover

[janbear]

I had to come to a place where I was comfortable with myself first. Then, the people I was attracted to and who were attracted to me were healthier and happier. I am married now, but I had reached a point prior to meeting my spouse where I knew I didn't need to be with anyone else in order to be happy. That left me in a place where I could be open to a healthy relationship where we could grow together, rather than feed off each other.


Posted by Lorin

[janbear]

September 6

It was false pride which kept me from getting help or making contact with people whenever I needed it. I just didn't want to admit to myself that I cannot do every darn thing on my own.

Then, one night, I called a program pal. I was in real distress, kind of an anxiety attack. Anyhow, first thing she said was something like, "Thank you for calling me! I never knew you needed help because you always seem so independent!"


Posted by Rose R.

[free2bunme]

Wow, this one hit me between the eyes!

[janbear]

September 7

One of the methods said to not include those things you did when you were drunk that you know you would not do now that you are sober. Well, that simplified it for me because there was a hell of a lot of things I did drunk that I darn sure knew I would not do sober. It was nearly more than two yeaars in the fellowship before I did a Fourth Step and I pretty well knew the sober me by then.

Posted by Rover

[janbear]

September 8

When I went to my first meetings I too had a hard time accepting that I wouldn't be able to drink for the rest of my life. That sounded like such along time. I was 23 at the time and I had my whole life still to live, how could I ever say I would never drink again?

I was told to take it in small amounts of time. The slogan One Day At A Time, is for those of us who can not swallow the concept of forever. I could accept that I would not drink one day at a time, I also could accept that I would not drink just for today


Posted by Deidre

[janbear]

September 9

We all wish we could go back and change the past, especially when we are having difficulty dealing with the present. Let the past go and deal effectively with today. Every day we are given the gift of a brand new day in which to do things differently. Focus on now and see what you can do about that.


Posted by Heather

[janbear]

September 10

I could accept the idea that I was an alcoholic, but I could not accept the idea that anything else in my life needed changing, besides my drinking. Since I returned to AA, after a relapse that left me in a state of utter desperation, my mind opened up and I realized that the people who were living the steps were living a whole lot better and happier than I was.

It's suggested that a newcomer attend 90 meetings in 90 days. For me, that was neccessary because it took at least 3 months before I could comprehend anything.


Posted by Brenda

[janbear]

September 11

I really believe that a healthy relationship is best achieved by leaving the women in the felowship alone until a person has put together some really solid sobriety, keeping in mind that 13-stepping is not limited to men as the aggressor. They tell you not have a relationship for at least a year. I don't consider dating different women outside the fellowship a relationship


Posted by Rover

[admin]

September 12

As someone who relapsed after several years of sobriety, and am now a year into my new sobriety, I can tell you what was told to me: you have to find a new experience of the program -- the old one isn't sufficient anymore. You can do that by taking the steps again from the beginning.

There is something terribly self-centered about the alcoholic/addict (myself very much included) that causes us to believe, that when we are in pain, our pain is special and is bigger and more important than anybody else's pain.

Posted by Kurt

[admin]

September 13

I must love myself very much to want to continue in sobriety, I must respect myself enough to know that even if I relapse I can get right back up, and begin all over again. And believe me it is difficult to relapse and not continue to drink. But it is doable. And it is very doable when I can seek the support and the unconditional love of an entire group.

Posted by Moonlight

[admin]

September 14

I was blessed to have a man stand me on my feet and walk me through the steps as they are outlined in the Big Book. I have since done the same with many others. They needed a sponsor, not a friend.

Posted by Henry S.

[janbear]

September 15

I prayed hard for God to help. Then, as I read step 2, I saw the insanity clause. That was it. I was insane. Nothing would ever change while I stayed insane.

All of a sudden, my life was filled with people who were in the same boat. They understood. I discovered if I didn't pick up the first drink, I didn't have to worry about the rest. This happend over a period of time. It did not happen in a day, but one day at a time.


Posted by Jean R.

[janbear]

September 16

The most important thing for me is that I work my program and let him work his. I dont keep track of his attendance at meetings or anything, and if he needs to go to a meeting and I need to watch our child, then I get on the the online meetings or do some reading.


Posted by Mel

[janbear]

September 17

I really didn't have any personal values to build any life on, much less a sober one. When I was told that I could condense my life down to a single day of being sober or even an hour if necessary, I could embrace that.

I had taken all my cues for living up till then from others around me. I still did that through the steps until I realized I had to begin building my own values and setting my own limits.


Posted by Neal

[janbear]

September 18

I made a list of everything I wanted from life at that moment. Once I could see them on paper, I knew which ones I could work on right now. Others had to be curtailed until I had more money, more time, more....

I didn't realize until later that I was setting goals for myself, but once this list was complete, I had to dream up new goals - and they do have a way of getting done.

Posted by Neal

[janbear]

September 19

I have to put my higher power, whom I choose to call God, in the drivers seat. It is his will, not my will. I am frequently reminded by my sponsor that it is attraction, not promotion. The only thing I can do for my husband and daughter is to be an example of how the 12 steps can help me live a more happy and joyous life.


Posted by Clock41

[janbear]

September 20

My alcoholism is the best thing that ever happened to me, by far I've met the finest people I know. It doesn't matter where you are, who you are, there are people out there who know you and can relate to you, and have been there themselves.


Posted by Ruby E.

[janbear]

September 21

I'd say that the program consists of thought and action, one following the other in an endless cycle of realization, action, and growth. If I allow the cycle to fail, or don't allow it to take hold in the first place, then I'm just killing time until I drink again.


Posted by Bryan

[janbear]

September 22

It doesn't matter if the other person is in the Program or not as long as they are moving in a healthy direction and feel comfortable with who they are. If your looking to be saved from loneliness through a relationship then check your motives for entering into the relationship.


Posted by Preparing

[janbear]

September 23

I really don't enjoy being judgemental anymore. I don't enjoy self-righteous nor controlling attitudes anymore either. Somehow, they're just not as much fun as they once were. The feeling I get way down deep inside is not pleasant. At one time, it was a lifestyle choice of mine to put people 'in their place' as often as possible. Today I choose not to do that.


Posted by Rose R.

[janbear]

September 24

My "action" of going to this program sent up red flags to my spouse, that I believed he had a drinking problem, even if he didn't believe it. That I was not going to let my life slip away in misery. He soon got the message. I was no longer the doormat that I used to be.


Posted by Sharon

[janbear]

September 25

At this point, my sponsor is more of a sounding board than a guide for me. He knows me very well, and is familiar with my thinking patterns. Sometimes he can see a fallacy in my thinking that I am not seeing. Of course, I have a much more extended support system now than I did in the beginning.


Posted by Lorin

[janbear]

September 26

My experience was that my 5th Step helped to free me from a lot of guilt and shame. What was dramatic was that, over the next few months following my 5th Step, I realized that I was no longer haunted by painful memories of the past. They had lost their power over me.


Posted by Larry

[janbear]

September 27

Then Al-Anon members shared their stories with me and I realized I'm not a bad wife for leaving him to his own devices. He always managed somehow to get home ... sometimes with new stitches on his body, sometimes in perfect -- albeit hungover -- shape.


Posted by Roser R.

[janbear]

September 28

My life was truly unmanagable. I had no control over when or how much I drank. I walked into the rooms of AA, scared confused and miserable. It took about 23 years for this to happen. 23 crappy years...

Today I live a happy, joyous and free life. Sometimes the world doesn't cooperate with me, but I don't get drunk over it anymore. Through AA I've learned to cope with this in a sane, rational manner
Posted by Libby

[janbear]

September 29

It held me back for a while and finally my old cranky sponsor just told me, "Hell, just do it! What have you got to lose? It is not like you are going in for cancer surgery and may not live through it!"

I have 23 years of sobriety now.


Posted by Joyce

[janbear]

September 30

Working the steps is hard enough without having to contend with uncomfortable meetings and sponsor situations. I changed both my sponsor and meetings this year, which was very uncomfortable even after some time in the program, but I have settled into the new meetings quite nicely and have again found a comfort level.


Posted by Bryan

[janbear]

October 1

I was not a daily drinker. There were times when I could actually stop for a drink and actually have ONE. There were, however, those other times when I stopped for one and had five, six, ten, or more. The problem was I couldn't predict what it was going to be once I had that ONE


Posted by Timothy

[admin]

October 12

Going to Al-Anon was my lifesaver. It showed me how to live my own life and know that I can be a good person. It showed me how to detach from other people's 'stuff' and concentrate on my own.

Posted by Rose

[admin]

October 13

In my opinion, maintainance and growth of a spiritual condition is the best method yet devised for keeping drunks sober, useful, and reasonably happy. It has worked for me even when I thought I was beyond hope. I am not perfect, but I am MUCH better than I was before.

Posted by Jack P.

[admin]

October 14

We can learn coping skills to help us understand addiction and how not to get caught up in it. We learn how to love someone in a healthier way; not shielding them from the consequences of their actions. We learn to set boundaries surrounding what is and is not acceptable behaviours of others. Mostly, we learn to feel okay about who we are. No one can force anyone to do anything. People have to want to get better.

Posted by Rose R.

[admin]

October 15

Here I am almost a year later and I'm not sure where I'm headed. I do know that I have to quit using alcohol. I have many a good years of partying under my belt and now it's time to grow up.

Posted by Geezo

[admin]

October 16

I still get hit with memories and moments that bring sadness, too. When they come, I have to remind myself that they will pass and soon I will feel better again. I do my best to turn it over to my HP and go about my day. Sometimes that isn't so easy to do, but I keep trying.

Posted by Kitten

[admin]

October 17

I won't avoid my friends who do drink because I have a problem with alcohol. I have steered clear of events that were primary centered on drinking - what would be the point of going - but I won't give up good times with good people. I need all the friends I can get.

Posted by Bonny

[admin]

October 18

I find it necessary to go out and hit meetings and deal with people. We found the time to get to the liquor store or the corner market for our beer didnt we? We can find the time necessary to attend a meeting

Posted by Steve

[admin]

October 19

What it took for me to finally accept help from outside myself was repeated beatings administered by alcohol. After many years of this torment, I finally waved my little white hankey and surrendered.

Posted by Jack P.

[admin]

10/20

October 20

It is when things are going OK and I'm feeling pretty good that I go back to the illusion of having some control. I have heard that "ism" stands for incredibly short memory. I am stubborn. I am arrogant. I need to be reminded. That is why I go to meetings reguarly.

Posted by Feel It

[admin]

October 21

In the sixth step it says were entirely ready to have god remove our shortcomings. The word entirely had me stuck for awhile until one day I realized I don't have to do anything. All I have to do is become willing and accept that there is a power greater than myself who loves me exactly as I am.

Posted by Feel It

[admin]

October 22

We both learned that how we both acted when I got sober was absolutely typically stereotypically normal. Ah ha! Al-Anon to the rescue! Since we've been going together to both Al-Anon, AA and private counselors we both understand it a "us" problem. Now it's time to talk about "our" recovery instead of just mine

Posted by Michele

[admin]

October 23

For me the bottom line is that I need to be reminded OFTEN about what I was REALLY like when I was drinking. I also need to be reminded that there is a solution, what that solution is, and that there are living examples of the miracles that solution has wrought. I get that from studying the Big Book and going to meetings.

Posted by Jack P.

[admin]

10/25

October 25

I just think that too many people go to these rehab centers to get a quick fix. Learning to live sober is a lifelong process. I truly believe that anyone that is willling to give AA a chance, they have a chance to live a really decent life.

Posted by CourageGirl

[admin]

October 26

I tried for a long time to love unconditionally. What I finally found was that I was drawing my "love" out of a dry well. In order for me to love the way I wanted to love I had to be willing to receive unconditional love from a source that was able to give it. Only then could I pass it on.

Posted by Greg

[admin]

October 27

I discuss everything with my sponsor, I talk with the people in the rooms, and especially the individuals in my home group. I also discuss and gain advice from people outside AA -- other people whom I admire -- and I talk with my counselor about what's good or bad for me. I am lucky to have a well-rounded base to gain knowledge, advice, and support.

Posted by A.E.W.

[admin]

October 28

There have been times that I felt like using and drinking. Although the compulsion has been lifted years ago, the thought would still come from time to time. But, I had kept going to meetings long enough, that when times got tough, I just kept going, until the pain of living had passed.

Posted by Cindy S.

[janbear]

October 29

I found meetings helpful in the sense that I needed someplace to be other than in bars and some of the other more seedy places I hung out. I had no socialization skills, so for me it was a good place to start.


Posted by Bette

[janbear]

October 30

I know my husband is hitting rock bottom. I believe its because I left him to his own behaviour. Because I'm not pecking at him anymore for drinking, he's left with the guilt of it all. When I do peck at him, he always has a good reason to drink. Al-Anon is the only reason I am still with him.


Posted by Cee

[janbear]

October 31

I cannot make changes on the basis of my willpower. If I could, I would have already done it. Or as I heard an old timer say the other day, I cannot think my way into good living, I must live my way into good thinking. This step reminds me today to stop trying so hard, to stay open to the learning that is available.

Posted by Feel It

[janbear]

November 1

Oh, I believed there was a God I just didn't believe He ever did anything for me so why should He do anything for me now. It took a while for me to realize that with my past history of 30 years drinking and driving the fact I was still alive was proof enough that God had been doing for me all my life.

Posted by Rover

[janbear]

November 2

The legacy of Unity is cast to the wind each time another faction of AA, however it wishes to individualize itself (i.e, age, race, sexual persuasion, mental health status), detaches itself from the whole.

Posted by Rayne

[admin]

November 3

I realized that I was going to have to walk the talk. I got scared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't go to meetings for a couple of weeks and I was nuts. I went back to meetings and really began to listen. The first thing I did was get a sponsor.

Posted by Sue

[admin]

November 4

The disease of addiction has been described as the inability to tell the true from the false -- our minds lie. This seems particularly true when it comes to that infamous crossroads of "perhaps just one..."

Posted by Kurt

[admin]

November 5

It all keeps coming back to the fact that NOBODY really knows the 'best' way to treat alcoholism, or even if there IS one; I know what worked for me, and others what worked for them, but nobody knows what will work for everybody.

Posted by Dave

[janbear]

November 6

It's extremely rare today to find an alcoholic under the age of, say, 55 or so who didn't have some experience with other drugs. I see my experiences with those other things as simply a different manifestation of my alcoholism.


Posted by Dave

[janbear]

November 7

Without page 119 in the 12&12, I probably would have made the same poor judgement in not realizing the possibility of getting involved with the wrong person. I have seen too many boy meets girl on AA campus trying to get each other sober and instead one or the other or both getting drunk.


Posted by c

[janbear]

November 8

You have to be willing to see what needs to be changed and then act on that. It won't work if you can't humble yourself and see where the problems lie within yourself.


Posted by Vicki

[janbear]

November 9

The whole purpose of writing the book was so that the message and the specific program would not get lost through the passing of word of mouth, and so that those that did not have the chance to get to New York or Akron or Cleveland, OH would be able to stop drinking using the program of AA without the benefit of meetings.


Posted by Sobr2

[janbear]

November 10

I went into rehab, and believe me, it did change my life, I didn't think I could go 6 days sober, I just celebrated 6 years, It is alot of hard work and dedication but well worth it.


Posted by Flo

[janbear]

November 11

I hope others can find a less trying way to have their spiritual experience. The intense pain of the despair seemed to be the catalyst for whatever the experience was. Worth having, but I'd rather not have to induce another.


Posted by John

[janbear]

November 12

A lot of people only get sober when they have lost everything and everyone. It's true that at first, people tend to get worse, but when they look around and see themselves alone with the bottle, they get a bit of a wake up call.


Posted by Mascot

[janbear]

November 13

I wish I had had the nerve to protect my children from the devastating effects of alcoholism in the home. Had you been "nice" you could end up with children who are addicts/alcoholics or just plain dysfunctional by the time they are 5 years old as I did.


Posted by Mmamow

[janbear]

November 14

Just because someone has their butt parked in a chair at an AA meeting doesn't mean they are working a good program or even that they are a decent human being for that matter. It's quality of soberity I look for in a sponsor not how much "time" they have.

Posted by Vicki

[janbear]

November 15

It seems to me that the Unity part of the triangle can only be reinforced through meetings. How can one be part of a fellowship if one always sits at home? And, it seems to me, that one can't be of service also. It's at A.A. meetings that I learn about upcoming functions and events.


Posted by Blues Bob

[janbear]

November 16

I'm convinced that the only thing of true value I ever got from my father was the privilege of watching him drink himself to death. It was a gruesome sight, a horrific death. For me, it was definitely an object lesson. If I didn't know what the end looked like - up close and personal - I doubt I would have been motivated to quit drinking when I did.


Posted by Larry

[janbear]

November 17

Sometimes people get into Al-Anon and begin their own recovery process and they leave. Sometimes they stay. But it is their decision to make. We don't presume to tell anyone what is best for them. . Every situation is different and there is no way that we can know all of the details or the complete situation.


Posted by BuddyT

[janbear]

November 18

Personally, I don't care whether people are "real" alcoholics or not. What I care about is whether people with this affliction can be relieved of their suffering. I just today observed, very closely, some of that suffering and it's a very, very ugly and painful thing.


Posted by Kevin

[janbear]

November 19

The fact that we were no longer drinking together had a way of showing us both that his drinking most certainly WAS a problem also. He was trying not to drink as much he had been and the anger in him was growing because he was in such denial about it and had lost his drinking buddy... me.


Posted by Deb

[janbear]

November 20

Then I went to a meeting and someone shared about a guy who committed suicide -- a guy who once had 17 years and went out. He had all of the material blessings, lost his sobriety and everything else and then committed suicide. That was really important for me to hear.


Posted by Zoe

[janbear]

November 21

At what point does AA cease to be what it is meant to be and become what the majority have now defined it to be? With no disrespect intended, I find those that see AA in the light it was intended to be a dying breed.

Posted by Bette

[janbear]

November 22

It would be pretty unreasonable to think that somehow all that damage to myself was magically erased just because I didn't drink for awhile, right? Of course my "self esteem" was low. How could it be otherwise? The Steps were the answer for me. All 12 of them
Posted by Jeff

[janbear]

November 23

I have a far more open mind about trying and investigating new things as a result of pondering the "contept prior to investigation" principle. To paraphrase, "Try it , you might like it" If you don't, don't use it, but don't castigate those who do.


Posted by Elise

[janbear]

November 24

So, I've now got two AA meetings under my belt and it feels great to be there. I can definitely feel that this will be where I'll find my sponsor, and that I need to work the steps from the AA side of the table vs. the Al-Anon.


Posted by Exhaled

[janbear]

Bars, Not Liquor Stores, Linked to Heavy Drinking
Traditionally, the number of liquor stores in a community is a sign of excessive alcohol consumption, but a new California study found that bars and nightclubs, not package stores, are linked to heavy drinking in adults who live in the neighborhood. This is especially true when the clubs are adult-only and do not allow minors.

[janbear]

November 26

I too have heard of these experiments to turn alkies into 'moderate' drinkers. Too many have died horrible, alcoholic deaths. Therefore, I'll stick with the winners and continue to read my Big Book, go to meetings and communicate with other sober AA members.


Posted by Teresa

[janbear]

November 27

I knew deep in my heart he had serious problems with alcohol, but was in denial, because I knew nothing about alcohol, and his actions would hurt and confuse me. But there were so many happy, passionate, loving times, that I found it easier to ignore the danger signs.
Posted by Dancer

[janbear]

November 28

I watched my mother waste 20 years of her life waiting for him to change. It wasn't pretty and it has affected me very deeply. I honestly believe I would have had a better life if she would have left him when I was a young child.


Posted by Laura

[janbear]

November 29

I think the critics of all things 12-step-related have no idea (because of the literal, black/white thinking) how completely freeing the process can be; it doesn't require the mental gymnastics which many seem to think it does to make the steps "fit" me.


Posted by Dave

[janbear]

November 30

I deserve a loving, nurturing relationship in my life. He is pleasant to be around, but the love is not there. He buys me things, but material things do not replace the passion and love.


Posted by Kristen

[janbear]

December 1

No one deserves to be abused physically or mentally by any one! The hardest part for me to forgive was all the words spoken in his fits of rage. He still tries to come into my life but I will not allow this to happen.


Posted by LORIN

[janbear]

December 2

For me, a sponsor was, and is, a good thing. I was lucky enough to get a good sponsor with the first one I picked. The key word, of course, is "good." Sometimes you need to try out a few before you find a good one.


Posted by Marty

[janbear]

December 3

God will put the people or person in my path when its time to make amends to them. Which means to me, I do not have to seek out anyone I appologize too. Thank goodness because there are people in my past I do not want to confront.


Posted by Deb

[janbear]

December 4

I would often find myself sitting in a bar half drunk wondering what the hell happened. The last decision I recalled making was to go straight home without drinking. I remembered walking into the bar, but I didn't remember deciding to do that. It was as though my brain had short-circuited (the "mental blank spot" AA's speak of) and my legs had developed a mind of their own, walking me into the bar.


Posted by Larry

[admin]

December 5

She supplies him with all the alcohol he can handle - I worry still for his safety but I have to remember it's not my concern and he's on his own now to deal with the circumstances. I do know I did the right thing for myself.


Posted by Jill

[admin]

December 6

I have seen people become sponsors and turn into something I consider very unattractive, thinking that the title gives them free rein to take over and control a sponsee's every move and thought. , I did get a sponsor that I was able to develop some sort of relationship with. She was there to help me understanding this stuff when I approached her.

Posted by Bette

[admin]

December 7

My husband and I have found that the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts work very well in our relationship. We have never had a fight. That does not mean we agree on everything, but we both know that it is perfectly normal for each of us to have opinions and ideas that are different from one another.

Posted by Elise

[admin]

December 8

Ask your wife and children if you need to quit. Ask your Mother or Father, or anyone else that loves you. You might be suprised how they view you and your 'success.'

Posted by Ming

[cassie]

December 9

This means that each day I have work to do. I can't declare myself cured and then go and live like I use to. I have decisions to make on a daily basis that sometimes I don't like, and I don't want to make them. But the fact remains that I have to.


Posted by Stanette

[cassie]

One night, it all changed. I just figuratively threw up my hands, thinking there has to more to this life than what I had at the time, and started my fourth step. I called my sponsor, and he said, "so you finally learned step three."


Posted by Stanette

[cassie]

December 11

I finally got tired of being terrorized by his fits of rage and acts of destruction and filed for divorce. I am not as scared at the idea of being able to manage financially on my own as I am by his tantrums and verbal abuse. And the first step was going to Al-Anon regularly!

Posted by Dancer

[admin]

12/12

My 17 year old son started using and I realized I was setting the same example for him that was set before me growing up in an alcoholic home. I wanted to help my boy. Little did I know that I had to help ME first.

Posted by Deb

[cassie]

12/13

There are a lot of people who will say that there isn't anything in the Big Book that says you have to have a sponsor. This is true. Sponsorship isn't actually part of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, (other than the need to work with others) it's part of the fellowship. I believe a sponsor is a pretty necessary part of getting sober.


Posted by Elise

[cassie]

December 14

The "x" factor was there before I took my first drink! What manifests in me as as alcoholic is that I become someone else, I lie to impress others, I spend money I don't have and do awful things that I would never do without drinking.


Posted by Sam

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

December 15

Where does it say that you are powerless over people, places, and situations in the Big Book? You are powerless over alcohol. Period. That's it. When you don't drink it you are not powerless. Power has been restored as long as you you don't take the first drink.

Read the Entire Message
Posted by Eakspeak

[janbear]

December 16

When I'm feeling good about myself, I can readily admit my mistakes, make amends and move on. To hell with other people's mistakes -- quite frankly I could care less if they get 'caught' or apologize or whatever.


Posted by Rose R.

[janbear]

December 17

I have let all my close friends know I am in recovery. One of them could not deal with it. I tried to explain, but they just could not accept it and responded by staying on the attack. I have detached from them as much as it pains me.


Posted by Grace

[janbear]

December 18

I too blamed myself and thought, oh if only i'd done things differently, blah blah blah. Someone at an Al-Anon meeting said she treated all her relationships like "please let me fix you so then you can fill the hole in me." Bingo, that was me, in addition to the fact that I was dealing with a sociopath.

Posted by Molly

[janbear]

Reflections for Beginners
from
'Hour To Hour - The First 30 Days'
- by Shelly Marshall
the author of 'Day By Day' & other Meditation Books
THIS BOOK IS NOW OUT OF PRINT



Our incessant analyzing could very well lead us back to drugs. Is your mind yapping at you constantly? Should I stay, should I not? Put your mind to rest by saying to yourself: No matter what my mind says, I won't take a fix, pill, drink, or snort and I will stay in this program.

With a firm decision on my part, it doesn't matter what my mind says, I know what my behavior will be -- clean and sober.

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

December 19

Quite the interesting dynamic when it's kids who need help. I chose my boyfriend; chose to marry him. But the kids? I "made" them. Oh yikes, talk about guilt! Al-Anon was there for me and I surely am grateful for that.


Posted by Rose R.

[cassie]

December 20

From what I've seen over many years, I truly believe there is just so much more to sobriety than "putting the plug in the jug." Without changes in attitude, activities, friends, etc., all you have is a "dry drunk" -- still got the same problems and coping skills, just doing life without booze.

[admin]

December 21

Even though the drinking is not the MAIN problem, we are not going to see solutions to the problems in our lives if we are constantly drunk. Sobriety has to come first along with a sincere desire to clean up our life and find that direction we want the rest of it to take. First you get sober, then you get better.

Posted by Neal

[admin]

December 22

My wife and I were able to save our marriage of 9 years when I got sober. It has taken alot of work, from both of us, but the rewards we have been blessed with cannot be counted. The most important thing we needed was honesty. . We are honest with each other today, and are rebuilding the trust that was once lost.

Posted by Jon

[admin]

December 23

Learning to enjoy my own company is a first for me. I always thought that lonesome hours had to be filled with something or someone. In the past, when everything was calm, I usually felt uncomfortable, waiting for something bad to happen.

Posted by Grace

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

December 24

Eventually, he realized that what I was doing was a good thing. He saw me change. He saw me taking an interest in life and in him. He was glad that I was getting better, and stopped resenting AA and my friends. He even went to a few open meetings and for coffee after. He saw what these people meant to me.


Posted by Libby

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

December 25

It will be a rough road, but already the children and myself are happier. There is no tension in the house, no fighting and there is a sense of hope. People who have seen me say there is no fear in my eyes anymore. Alanon has also really helped me and so has my faith.


Posted by Nancy

[janbear]

December 26

It took more pain and heartache and a very close call with a relapse to convince me that I needed to quit the debate and "just do it." I learned that I really did need to "clean house" and the experience was incredibly freeing. . I could either burden myself with all of that baggage from the past or burdon myself with this intellectual nit picking discussion of the details of the program. Both were standing in the way of true freedom and happiness and a very full and complete new life. That's the best deal I have ever been offered.


Posted by John A.

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

December 27

I developed certain "defects" in my character, the biggest of these being the "poor me" syndrome. When my head started to clear, I became to quickly realize these defects were with me before alcohol became a problem. Booze just magnified it. . I learned about gratitude and it put much of the "Poor me why don't I have this .. why is my life so miserable ...." thoughts aside.

Posted by Walt

[janbear]

December 28

I always thought I could just hang in there because someday he would see how he was contaminating the marriage. Well you know what? That day never came. I said enough is enough. It was like taking care of another child.


Posted by Deanna

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

December 29

Al-Anon is the greatest program ever but it does have its limitations. I've looked for help in other places than Al-Anon because, to me, my recovery is my most important asset towards living a healthy life.


Posted by Rose R.

[janbear]

December 30

AA was never intended to be the be-all and end-all of your search for recovery tools. If the voice inside you is saying it is time to investigate further, then you would probably do well to listen. Balance of our practices is one of the greatest gifts we can learn from any recovery program.

Posted by MizzT

[janbear]

Recovery Thought of the Day

December 31

I had a therapist when I was first in recovery. Then I found a wonderful sponsor. It was amazing how different I felt when I shared with the sponsor. I had shared it all with the counselor...but there was something very special about the 5th step with a sponsor.


Posted by Step Gal

[janbear]

Pam Says: I often feel that I am not doing my recovery "right" because I don't do many of the things I hear others talk about at meetings. But I haven't had a drink for almost two years... so I must be doing something right!

[janbear]

Elissa G. Says: Each day brings its own challenge. Living a sober life means living life on life's terms. In order to live this life, I must remember to use my recovery toolbox. In it are the tools given me by this fellowship. Prayer, meditation, the steps, a meeting, a chat with my sponsor... the direction to meet the challenge is there, if I remember to use the tools

[janbear]

Ariel Z. Says: When I discovered my husband was drinking on his long commute home from work, I moved our whole family to another state to be closer to his job. Little did I realize he would wind up driving back to our old state to get alcohol in the middle of the night -- and then he would drink all the way home. You just can't control the disease no matter how hard you try. When I learned to turn it over and all that energy poured back into my own affairs, I got a whole new lease on life.

[janbear]

Deb G. Says: I have been in recovery many 24 hours and I would like to say a word about sponsorship. I have had many sponsors who just quit calling me back. This hurts and is confusing. I have learned now not to take it personally and to ALWAYS make it a point to call the people I sponsor back.
If you sponsor someone, I believe you have a reponsibility to that person to return phone calls, emails, etc. If you can no longer fulfill this responsibility, please let your sponsees know you no longer have the time, energy, whatever to sponsor them. I urge members of our fellowship who are fortunate enough to be asked to sponsor someone not to just assume that person doesn't need to hear from you (no matter how many 24 hours the sponsee has been sober).

[janbear]

Steve R. Says: Honesty - What a novel concept, and an absolute necessity in recovery. We've become so accustomed in our addiction/alcoholism to lying to ourselves (and everyone else), that becoming honest is a radical change that is a mighty tall order to fulfill.
First, we must become honest with ourselves, and the first and most important step to achieving this is to admit we have a problem and that we need to do something about it.

The second thing is to be honest with one's own 'higher power' or 'a God of one's own understanding'. This, at first, involves admitting what we admitted to ourselves and asking for help in overcoming the addiction/alcoholism we're battling.

Third comes honesty with others. Through becoming honest with ourselves and our higher power, this becomes possible and achievable.

While honesty, by and of itself, does not constitute recovery, it is an integral part of it. Honesty must become a daily part of our lives: with ourselves, a God of our own understanding, and others.

[janbear]

Marise B. Says: Faith has allowed me to have trust in the process. Trusting in the process helped me trust in oneself. I needed to get to the meetings to understand the process and I will not trade places with another. I am three years sober and I have never experienced so much joy and freedom from bondage. I now have true meaning in my life and are grateful to all those who had faith in me when I was down.
Life is a miracle and my past is an asset. My future is in the hands of my higher power and the spiritual principles, however there is action I need to carry out if I want to remain sober. It's not about what I want but what I need to do. Best wishes to you all and don't give up, there is hope for us all.

[janbear]

Coleman J. Says: Two questions I try to remember to ask myself whenever I'm faced with a difficult situation:
Would my Higher Power approve of what I am about to do?

What would an ADULT do in a situation like this?

[janbear]

Carrie Says: Every bottle has a bottom. It might look good when it's full, but it is depressing when it is empty! Yet 'One drink is too many and a thousand are not enough.' Another bottle is never the answer.
Every bender leads to the fear and misery that come with those Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that always accompany me on my journey back to sobriety and freedom -freedom from the bottle!

[janbear]

Tim B. Says: It is not so much that we "work the steps' but rather that we "practice the principles

[janbear]

Shawila Says: When life finally all caught up to me, and with around 10 years clean (I like to call it the 911 end of working AA in my life) I hit a hard emotional, spiritual, and physical bottom that I really believe was worse spiritually than the day I arrived to Alcoholics Anonymous. I wanted more than ever to drink or die. I didn't know which was going to come first, I just knew that, here I was 10 years without any alcohol or drugs and I wanted to be DRUNK or DEAD. I felt hopeless and desperate.
God's plan was different than mine, and little did I know at that point what was in store for me. With me bowing before my creator and asking for help, Surrending to my disease of Alcoholism I was restored to some sanity to get help and to live sober "One Day At A Time," with the Spiritual Tools given so freely to me.

[janbear]

Michelle S. Says: When I first got sober some years ago I remember hearing that everything would happen in time. I hated that word time. I had always been the kind of person that "wanted what I wanted when I wanted it" and I hated waiting for anything. If I was going to "get" being sober I wanted it right then and there I didn't want to go to meetings or work on myself I just wanted it to happen.
Then I went to a meeting and heard what Time stood for and it changed my life from that point forward. I heard that time stood for Things I Must Earn. I knew then and there that it was not going to be an easy road but if I was going to make it it was going to take time.

[janbear]

Ted B. Says: Recovery is work. A lot of very hard work. I know of no one who would say otherwise. I've learned that, without a daily (or twice or thrice-daily) spiritual "check-up," I am doomed to repeat the deplorable actions of the past. If I fail to treat my disease on a daily basis with prayers, meditation, meetings and step work, I quickly become sick. Regular contact with my fellow AA's and my HP keep me well.

[janbear]

Cheryl R. Says: It took some time in recovery to realize, I am no longer a victim; I can no longer 'claim' people 'do things to me'. They only trigger what is already there, things I have yet to really look at within myself. It can be painful, but the light beyond is definitely worth aiming for.
I feel both honored and privledged to have this life today and to be able to see others, and myself, in a whole new light. This is quite a journey, one that I never really embarked on before. And I can honestly say I wouldn't trade my worst day clean for my best day using.

[janbear]

Nancy A. Says: When I recovered from alcohol and drugs, I replaced those addictions with addictions to other things -- other people being the main one. A friend reminded me that it is important to work on recovery from this addiction as well. As a child and spouse of alcoholics, I have been abandoned and neglected.
Lately, I have opened my eyes to the fact that it is not only the alcoholic or addict who abandoned me and neglected me -- I abandoned and neglected myself while I was addicted to the alcoholic or addict. It is time to stop abandoning and neglecting myself and really take care of me.

[janbear]

David D. Says: It wasn't until I was sitting in prision for DUI that I realized I was happy. Then I relized it was becuase I wasn't drinking. So when I got out I didn't drink and now I can't imagine drinking. Even the thought scares me. I now have four years sobriety and am doing something with my life.

[janbear]

Anita C. Says: What helped me in this recovery process is the simple statement made by an old-timer, "If I don't pick up that first drink today, I can't get drunk today." I always thought it was the first six pack or the first gallon of wine. This statement was a revelation to me especially working with the Big Book.
The "Doctor's Opinion" had given me the reason I drank the way I did. It is an allergy of the body and the compulsion of the mind. I thank God and this old-timer for this insight

[janbear]

GettingBetter Says: We are not bad people trying to get good, we are sick people trying to get better. It's not so much about the drinking, as it is the thinking.

[janbear]

Magnolia Says: When we stop blaming our disease for our behavior and surrender that is when we start listening to God. Reading the acceptance prayer helped me alot when I first got into the program, I read it faithfully everyday for three years. I still reflect on it.
The doctors had given me six months to live, in February I will have 9 years, by the grace of God. Thanks to everyone in the fellowship, I love how the program has and is teaching me to live on life's terms.

[admin]

Ralph Says: The greatest gift I received from the program was the ability to truly let go of the need to control. I can't (or won't) do it every time I face a challenging situation. Though when I do, I understand what I do have control over -- my actions. It is so incredibly freeing and empowering.

[admin]

1/20

JP Says: No matter what, get your life in order before tackling other projects. It might seem selfish to you or others, but it's the most important step in your successful recovery.

[janbear]

Linda G. Says: I have been working the Al-Anon program for 5-6 months. I have accepted I am powerless over alchohol or another's behavior. I am free to be me, help me, love me and have hope for the alcoholic in my life. Life is good in Al-Anon.

[janbear]

Heather F. Says: I used to think that life was worthless and that nothing was ever going to change. I thought I would always be worthless and no matter what I did drinking and all the misshaps and damage that went along with it would just continue until I walked in the doors of AA. I only drank for 5 years but that was enough for me to be suicidal, angry and pathetic.
Now almost two years later, one day at a time, I have a life. A real life. I have a Higher Power, a network of friends I can truly count on, self-respect and dignity. I know that when I walk in the rooms of AA I will be accepted no matter where I am at that day. I have been blessed with a wonderful sponsor. She has taught me real honesty. I owe what I am today to the program and the people who keep coming back.

[janbear]

Marty Says:
The first week I had seven days of continuous sobriety - I was hit with gratitude. It was a God-thing. I was so grateful every morning to wake up sober that I was able to remember those feelings throughout the day. Later on a sponsor suggested I write a gratitude list: five things that I was grateful for today, right now, right this moment.
I still do this - when the pity starts; when I start to whine; when alcoholic thoughts jump into my head, I start a gratitude list. My thinking is rearranged and I can enjoy my life, my sobriety, the gifts I have been given. Gratitude has been an integral part of my sobriety for 15 years now.

[janbear]

Peggy C. Says: If you're panicking about a situation remember: everything changes. Chances are in another minute, or an hour, or a day you'll feel differently. Ask for God's inspiration in that moment - send him forth into your day or situation and you will be protected.
The most important thing I've learned this year is that 98 percent of my fears never come true. Relax and wear the world as a loose garment... as a sober, clean individual

[janbear]

Janene C. Says:
All thoughts have value. Good thoughts breed good values. Bad thoughts undermine what we value.

[janbear]

Nancy P. Says:
I hit bottom and skidded sideways for awhile. What brought me to recovery was being brought to my knees, it total despair. I was finally ready, really ready to do what ever it took to get better. I had to remain opened minded to change, and willing to do what ever it took. I keep this attitude steadfast, and will soon be celebrating three years clean from active addiction.

[janbear]

Jennifer D. Says: I have realized that after a little over a year clean that my bottom was as bad as I want it to get. I still had material possessions but I was dying on the inside, slowly. I was a dressed up trash can. I know that I have to attend meetings and work a strong program so I don't forget how bad it was or how bad it could still get.

[janbear]

Stobey Says:
The struggle is not against the tengable it is the struggle against chaos and despair. It is in meetings that I have found hope in this struggle. My job requires me to travel, so I go to meetings all over the country. They have saved my life countless times. This is my third New Years sober and I have never been more at peace, felt more centered, than today

[janbear]

Josie Says:
What I understand today is that for me to stay whole and present in my recovery I have to believe in myself. I do steps 1, 2, and 3 at the onset of a difficult situation. Letting my Higher Power in my heart allows me the freedom to view the situation with more clear understanding and less reaction on my part because I become aware of his will and not mine.

[janbear]

Chris M. Says: I was "sober" for 1-1/2 years when I thought I had lost everything to my disease. Then I started working on myself. I found out that through working a program and talking to trusted friends I may have lost a lot of material possessions, but that I had gained something more valuable. I found my Higher Power, and I found myself.
My first 18 months of sobriety was spent in anger, frustration and lonliness. Now I am at peace, I have a vast wealth of friends, and most important, I have a relationship with my God, and with myself. I will be celebrating two years in February and I couldn't be happier with who I am today.

[janbear]

Walt B. Says:
The greatest gift AA has given me has been the choice of sobriety itself. "The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking" it doesn't guarantee I will. The gift of sobriety came to me via repetitive meetings, endless questions and painful soul-searching. It was all a choice of my own volition, and support from a Higher Power that I didn't know existed.
The pain inside myself had to be so great that I had to make that choice -- "Do I change or die?" That choice is a daily, sometimes momentary choice, because the drink and the damage it brings is always just an arm's length away. If I have admitted I am powerless then I truly know it's a choice.

[janbear]

Tree Says: I tentatively started attending meetings and found out I was not alone. Before long I was eagerly attending meetings and hungrily sucking up the love and knowledge I found there. I now have a sponsor and I am working the steps. I am happier in recovery than I have been prior to finding the rooms.
Recovery does not happen overnight. It is a process that can sometimes be painful but the benefits that we reap from recovery are so wonderful that the growing pains are well worth it!

[janbear]

Joan G. Says: I crawled into an Al-Anon meeting for the first time in February 1992 aproximately 11 months after I had kicked my husband out in a fit of rage, my best thinking convinced me that losing his family would do the trick, surely now he'll sober up! I came to Al-Anon hoping the good folks there would teach me how to sober him up because my plan did not seem to be working. I fixated a long time after getting to Al-Anon on getting my husband back but only if he were sober.
The obsession eased off gradually as I got a sponser, took service committments, went to meeting, made calls, worked the steps, helped newcomers, the things that we do. Just as things were getting better my 13 year old son started coming home drunk every night. Thank God I had a program.

[janbear]

Karen C. Says: I've come to see the benefit of one day at a time revealations. "More will be revealed" is a wonderful concept. It speaks of the surprise, the new thought, the inspiration right around the corner. The program is one of newness. I feel new. My eyes sparkle, my laugh is heartier, I am more lighthearted. Before I was stern, I judged others more and I was more certain of being right. Boy did I ever find out that I was dead wrong.
Now, I say, "Hmmm, well more will be revealed, I'm not in charge." I'm easier on myself and others. I instinctively know to hold my tongue, to smile more. To live and let live gives me and my loved ones freedom.

[janbear]

Linn B. Says: We go into the future with both of our hands being held by other recovering people. Since I have been clean and sober, I have never gone through anything alone. This is a choice that I must make - to take that hand offered to me, or sit alone in my misery. Thanks for over 14 years of hands!

[janbear]

Eaydo Says:
I act like a oldtimer, but continue to learn like a newcomer.

[janbear]

S. Says:
Sometimes living life one day at a time seems like too much to handle and all the walls I've built up with my lifetime of rebellion against the religious God I grew up with make me feel like a phony when I pray. What helped a lot in the first days of sobriety and still helps to clear my mind and find peace is when I stop and remember to: Breathe in, Breathe out, Don't drink in between.

[janbear]

Jason M. Says: It happened just as I heard hundreds of times before at meetings... My relapse just didn't "happen" - it was a gradual progression. I stopped going to meetings, stopped talking to sober people. Stopped praying. Self pity. Ego with an inferiority complex.... that was me. After I hit bottom again I came back through God's help (and family) and thought I knew how to get sober.
I didn't know much of anything and had to re-learn most of what I was previously given through the program. I learned this because I had no "tools" or defenses against the first drink.

[janbear]

Teresa D. Says:
This disease can strike at any given moment. I usually know now that the chaos and confusion is a great indication that the disease is revealing it's ugliness. Now, my program gives me the tools to stop - take a deep breath - in and out - then immediately do Step 3 - and just by making a conscience decision to turn my will over to the care of God brings me back to a good place. Everything gets better after this and what is really cool I can do that anytime - anywhere.

[janbear]

Steve R. Says: One must keep an open mind in recovery. The ways of the past clearly don't work, and what works for one in recovery doesn't necessarily work for another. This is one of the reasons meetings and one-on-one contact with other members of recovery fellowships is so important. You're exposed to a variety of ways and attitudes to cope with your disease, and hear may differing views on and ways to approach the miracle called recovery. You need to listen for what makes sense to you, no matter what the source, and integrate it into your own recovery program. If it works for you, fine. If it doesn't, discard it, and try something else.

[janbear]

Edie Says:
After sifting through 12 years worth of pearls of wisdom from other alcoholics, I've decided the most important thing for me is to be true to myself -- learn to accept myself as I really am and try to love myself -- everything else will follow because we tend to treat other people according to how we feel about ourselves and what goes around comes around

[janbear]

Katelynn D. Says: Alcoholism is a disease, and without treatment, it will only progress. Unfortunately, this disease contributed in the death of the man I divorced and many others that I was close to through out my life. This memory is a constant reminder, that we all have choices to make each day. My choice today is to live sober and drug-free, and for that, I am truly grateful.

[janbear]

Joan G. Says: Today my thinking is along differnt lines. My life, my responsibilities, my family, my choices, my career, my feelings, my likes and dislikes, all things I lost sight of in my disease. I never got together again with my husband and he's still drinking. I give my son the dignity and respect to live his own life and we have a good relationship today. And by the grace of God, I have a life, my life.

[janbear]

Clarice Says:
My miracle is that, in Al-Anon, I finally learned how to get out of the way. I came to believe I am not my son's Higher Power, and I am not his sponsor. I cannot change his response to his disease. I can change my response to his disease and to everyone and every thing I try to control!

[janbear]

Jason M. Says: After about four times of going back out on one night binges or a stint of a week or two, I finally started doing what was suggested. PRAY, call someone in the program when I have an craving. Basically, take suggestions and not follow my will and try to do it on my own, because I learned I can't do it on my own.

[janbear]

Lisabuela Says: I love the experiential nature of the program. I get to encounter another. I get to sit in a circle where there is no cross talk only designated space for each and every person to be heard. Silence is fine too. It's an exquisite encounter of intimacy. It includes the sublime and the inspired, the sweet and the confused!

[janbear]

June Says:
One of the important things I have done to stay in the now and stay centered, sane and sober for the past three years is read the Recovery thought of the day. That, along with some meditation, prayer, and living the "AA" program of recovery in all of my affairs for the past 14 years has changed my life for the better. I can look in the mirror and like what looks back at me and I can even be comfortable in this skin of mine most of the time.

[janbear]

Ruth Says:
I finally succumbed to the messages God was giving me and to the proddings of a fellow recovering alcoholics to look for help. That was in 1997. After six years of therapy, totalling another car, divorcing the husband and several relapses, I have become a better person, more stable, more joyful, more clearminded about myself and with tremendous will to help any other person in the same wagon. My search for the spiritual me is passionate and has taken over the will to drink entirely.

[janbear]

Phil Says:
Trying to stay sober would seem impossible if I did not value my self esteem, I was not given this gift of life to distroy it through an addiction. During my addiction I loathed my own behavior. Now in my well state I still am not peaceful and happy all the time but the self loathing has gone -- thank God.

[janbear]

Dwight B. Says:
I must remind myself daily that if I allow resenment to effect me and enter into my life, I will again be back out on the street and running! Resentments to me are as dangerous and destructive as taking that "First Drink" would be. Because of that, a daily (or sometimes an hourly) inventory is a must!

[janbear]

Ariel Z. Says: The only thing that ever got through to him was the classic Al-Anon strategy of letting him suffer the consequences of his own actions, letting him fall and getting out of the way. I would literally leave the house in order to avoid waking him up for work. When he finally got fired for showing up at a new job 4 hours late and hung over, that's when he got it. He's been sober for over two years now.

[janbear]

Tree Says:
I have found that when I find myself in chaos and confusion, this disease in all its ugliness in right with me. But with the tools of this program I stop - breath in and out slowly - then do my 3rd step. I make the conscience decision to turn my will over to the care of God and then most important - I need to listen! Things do get better and maybe not in the way we would think they would, but it works.

[janbear]

Betty Ann Says:
When I pray for awareness I need to remember that action will need to be taken once that I have received it, because awareness without action is misery. If I am made aware of a pattern of behavior or character defect that needs to worked on, and then sit around on my laurels, I run around knowing that I am definitely the problem, yet I am trapped by my own unwillingness.

[janbear]

Cheryl H. Says: I survived my husband's alcoholism, but he didn't. Al Anon made it possible for me to accept his death without guilt. It took me a while to understand that his decisions were out of my control no matter how much it hurt. My decision was to stay because he was a wonderful person with a terrible problem. I still view life with him as better than life without him.

[janbear]

Amy L. Says:
I have learned in sobriety that there is hope for everyone, and that the power greater than myself gives me the courage, strength, and wisdom to go through each day sober and half sane if I stay willing to do his work. Working the steps turned into them working for me and working with others has kept me going when all else failed. The people in my home group keep me focused, and my higher power loves me even when I am unlovable

[janbear]

Kim M. Says:
I just could not accept the fact that I would NEVER be able to use again. Just the thought of it made me cringe! It wasn't until a fellow recovering addict came to me and said, "Hey! Just try to keep your focus on today. Just for today!" When this person said those three simple words to me, he probably had no idea his words would forever change my life. Well, that they did! The thought of NEVER using again was unimaginable, but just for today - seven years later - I am clean and serene!

[janbear]

Cassandra C. Says: Not everyone has the same concept of a Higher Power, but there is alot of talk about GOD in the rooms with a capital G. My sponsor has helped me through step 2 by showing me that god can be many things -- "gift of desperation" or "gratitude over despair" or "good orderly direction" from a "group of drunks."

[janbear]

Helen G. Says: I always have to remember that I have a disease called alcoholism. It is never cured, just as diseases such as cancer, diabetes, etc. are cured. But I am assured that I can always keep it in remission by following the steps, having a sponsor, and to let go, and let God. With the help of AA, I can continue my sobriety for the rest of my life.

[janbear]

Ron C. Says: One of the most important things that AA, Al-Anon, and NA teach me is slow down. When I am in a hurry I act like an alcoholic or an addict. When I slow down and "go with the flow" of my higher power, I am led to amazing encounters that no human being could arrange. It sounds hokey, but I meet the right people, at the right place, at the right time when I slow down, and listen.

[janbear]

Judy C. Says: When I discovered that I had a drinking problem, I knew that I would have to have God and a Spirtitual program in my life. No longer could I make excuses why I drank. Once I worked through the issues that caused me to drink, then and only then, I no longer needed to drink again. This was 16-1/2 years ago. Today, I am a productive woman whose life is filled with joy, happiness and I returned back to school at the age of 49. So, its never too late to fulfill one's potential.