Boundries and ballance.

[william zimmer]

I have been strugiling with boundries at work,AA,friends and family trying to please everybody while allowing my serenity to suffer.Some people in the program become very controlling at times and feel affended when i am to worn out to attend certain meetings or events i have a very fulltime job and 2 kids i attend alot of meetings some my AA friends dont its nice to me to be anonymous at meetings sometimes.I know they care and meen well but i pull away when smothered does anyone else feel this way?

[admin]

For me I have keep to God, my sobriety and myself first. Everything else comes after that. If I don't keep God, my sobriety and me first then I may relapse and then I won't have to worry about the rest. Also for me what others think, say or do is none of my business. What others think or say about me is none of my business. Above all we have to take care of ourselves first to be any good to anyone else. No one else can do that for us, we have to do that ourselves.

[jalanm]

Thanks to all for the welcomes, and thank God for a new day

[dalin]

WELCOME JALANM,
With me,in my first couple years in recovery,I had to learn to be a little flexable.
How long have you been in recovery now?
Alot of times I still misinterperrate other folks actions,even with over a decade around here.
My old sponsor used to say alot,
"If I am not the problem,then there is no solution"
He didnt say it to shame me,because he knew my self esteem had no esteem already.
But he did me a huge favor in early recovery by getting me to look at my selfishness and self seeking up front to see if I was playing a part in my unmanagability,wich I often do.
Hang in there.

[admin]

:67: jalanm! :17: Glad to have you join us here. I look forward to hearing more from you. Keep coming back. :42:

[jalanm]

Thank you Bluid, and dalin. I was 20 yrs without drinking-but NOT sober. I was not doing any part of a recovery program, and I finally set myself up for a relapse, and went headlong into it. It took me to my bottom to get me to realize that "white-knuckling" it wasn't going to work, and I had to do something different-and here I am. I am at almost 60 days now, and happier than I ever had been.

[janbear]

:17: Hi jalanm, Congrats on the time you have. :1: One day at a time we can stay clean and sober. I understand what you mean about not drinking, but not being sober either. The 12 step program can make all the difference. Keep coming back and let us get to know you better. Jan

[cblackmon]

I have been strugiling with boundries at work,AA,friends and family trying to please everybody while allowing my serenity to suffer.Some people in the program become very controlling at times and feel affended when i am to worn out to attend certain meetings or events i have a very fulltime job and 2 kids i attend alot of meetings some my AA friends dont its nice to me to be anonymous at meetings sometimes.I know they care and meen well but i pull away when smothered does anyone else feel this way?

Hi william, funny I should happen on this site and see your help message...god is really in charge of things huh? I was feeling exactly the same way as you are feeling and my sponsor suggessted to me that i read the third step again and start applying those prinicples in my life. At some point we can become isolating and this is where our disease wants us to be. We need to remember to take care of ourselves first and then others everything else will fall into place.