Newcomer & very scared

[Daisy1975]

Hello everybody. I just found this forum today and am looking forward to reading all of the valuable information here. I am an alcoholic/cocaine addict. Today I am feeling very scared and very alone. I am estranged from my family and don't have any "real" friends. I just moved to a new city and don't know a soul. I went to an AA meeting a little over a year ago, and it was not a good experience for me. I found it online, and they said it was an open meeting, but when I got there it was a recovery birthday night and was basically just people getting their coins and telling their stories.

No one spoke to me or anything. I guess I had expected someone to reach out to me seeing that I was a newcomer. Everyone there seemed to know eachother and I admit that I left feeling more alone and on the outside. Because of this I am scared to go to another meeting and really don't know where to start.

I have used both cocaine and alcohol in the last 24 hours and I am so depressed and scared. Should I call one of the AA or NA lines and will they judge me for having used so recently?

[janbear]

Hi Daisy, no one will judge you for having used for as alcoholics and addicts we all have been where you are at and have no room to judge. I do suggest trying going again to a meeting. My first experience with an AA meeting was not good either, but i wanted recovery so bad that i was not willing to let that deter me from recovery, and i am glad i didnt for it brought sobriety and serenity to my life that i didnt know was possible. If you can go to an NA meeting. I go to both fellowships. Don't give up before the miracle happens for you. Keep coming back and let us get to know you.
:91: This is how we stay clean and sober, a day at a time. :42:

[dalin]

keep coming!
we needyou.
no judgement.

[admin]

:67: Daisy! :17: So very glad to have you join us here. Please make yourself at home. I suggest trying a different meeting. Please feel free to continue to come here and share with us also. We care. :42:

[Dirkules]

Daisy-Keep hitting as many meetings as you can. If you don"t like a meeting FIND A DIFFERENT ONE!! Any meeting that doesn"t welcome newcomers is not living the traditions.The solution is in the Big Book & in the fellowship. If I'm not comfortable sharing with these people I drift away & to drift away is to DIE AN ALCOHOLIC DEATH, which doesn't sound fun to me. ANYBODY THAT'S JUDGING ME NEEDS TO TAKE A LOOK AT THEMSELVES.GOD IS AWESOME!!!!DON"T KEEP COMING BACK-JUST STAY HERE, IT DOES GET BETTER,I PROMISE!!! Dirkules St. Louis:42:

[Snookefest]

Hey Daisy
I am a coke addict and alckie
YES call the hot line.Do what ever it takes not to use.Recovery is not for people who need it ,its for people who want it.When you go to a meeting tell
someone your are new.If they don't help you ask someone else.
I have so many friends in the rooms .You will not be alone for long if you keep following the suggestions they will tell you at meetings.
I wish you the best Snook

[Peanut]

Daisy, Do not give up on yourself. It is so hard to believe that we can get better that many times we make the decision to go back to what we know. As miserable as the drunkeness maybe, (that is what we know) and until we are willing to make the decision to sober up, nothing in our lives will change. Keep looking until you find somewhere and someone that will help guide you through the Steps. It is worth the pain of growing up.
Blessings on your Journey.

[kimg7]

Hi Daisy! We are glad you are here! Find another meeting, in fact, find many!
We need not suffer loneliness!

I, too struggle with alcohol and cocaine. I understand.
Take it one day at a time. You may even have to take it one MOMENT at atime! I sure did! But it DOES WORK if you WORK IT!

We love you and hope you will keep coming back.

I'll be praying for you and that you may find a home you feel secure and loved in.

Best Wishes!

[Montyman]

Daisy, it's going to be OK. We are here for ya and so are many others. Just stay in the herd so to speak.
Take a listen to some of my shows on Take12Radio.com and maybe that will help as well. Lots of great recovery and positive music there to.
But most important, keep coming back.
Glad your here.
The Monty'man

PS The show today is on friendship and Daisy, you have just made new friends here at CR

[maria r]

hi daisy, don't give up, keep coming back here, try different face 2 face meetings, are there more than the one near you or can you travel to one in another city? and the online meeting, just go at meeting times, just keep going and listen to the others and for today, choose not to drink/drug today

i stayed away from face to face meetings, found online ones then stayed away from them, my addictions are the same as yours + some more

ring the AA/NA helplines and get contact numbers so you can talk to another addict/alkie, get the big book and NA literature and read them as often as you can, keep trying sweetheart despite your fear, it gets easier till one day the fear turns into something else

take care

[eve3]

http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u306/Winter-Raven43/58.gifhello and welcome my name is eve this site is awsomw keep coming,keep sharing let us no if you need help

[fibiray]

Hi daisy welcome aboard and know that you are amongst friends. If anyone does judge you for using /drinking it is their problem not yours. I believe there should be no room for judgements because we are all here for the same reason. As suggested, find a group that you are comfortable with. It is like shopping for a handbag, it may take some time but keep looking. When you find one that you like then join it. You may benefit from a womens meeting or a beginners meeting. Since it is early days for you keep coming back to the forum and getting the experience strength hope and wisdom of others that have gone before you. The great thing about this forum is that you can access it anytime of the day or night and know that people are there. God bless

fibiray
xxx