PDA

View Full Version : What are Mens Issues?


dalin
08-07-2007, 09:44 AM
What are Men’s Issues?


Men’s issues are as valid as women’s issues, but until recently they have received little attention from the media or public policy. This brochure is intended as an introduction to men’s issues, which are part of the broader men’s movement.

First of all, it is important to realize that most people in the men’s movement aren’t interested in pushing women into subservience. While their approaches may vary, most men’s advocates are interested in addressing the disparities that have increasingly affected men and boys in (mostly) Western nations since the late 1960s. This is an essential part of achieving gender fairness for both sexes.

Second, the men’s movement is not just a concern of white men. Men’s issues affect all men and boys, regardless of race, ethnicity, nationality or socioeconomic status.

The men’s movement exists because men and boys are at a disadvantage in several important areas in today's politically correct social structure. Laws and conventions originally intended to encourage equal rights for women have evolved into special privileges without responsibility for women and an elevated status for women only. This is taking place against a backdrop of misandry (hatred of men) in society. The result has been serious harm to many areas of society, such as family structure, education, and social services programs. Ironically, this has ultimately had a negative impact on women in general — and children in particular.

While this brochure cannot list all of the issues affecting men and boys, it does provide a summary of the most visible ones. These issues are:

• Divorce and Child Custody
• Domestic Violence against Men
• Media Representation of Men
• Workplace Issues for Men
• Men’s Health and Safety
• Education
• Other issues: Male only selective service, unequal sentencing, false accusations, and double standards against men

Note: While many of the examples and statistics in this brochure are from the United States, the same concepts apply throughout much of the Western world.


Divorce/Child Custody

With roughly 50% of marriages ending in divorce, and most child custody decisions going in favor of mothers, many men find themselves deprived of their children while making large support payments to an ex-wife who may be turning their children against them. The family court system is in itself adversarial, and makes an “amicable divorce” unlikely. In far too many cases, this has led fathers to become unemployed, bankrupt, imprisoned, homeless, and even suicidal. Meanwhile, children from fatherless homes are more likely to abuse illicit drugs or alcohol, become pregnant as teenagers, drop out of school, commit crimes, and go to jail. Children benefit most when both parents are equally involved in their lives, and public policy should reflect this by adopting a presumption of shared custody.

Related issues: Reproductive rights for men are very limited compared to what women enjoy. For example, a woman can abort her unborn child without any input from the father. Alternatively, she can give birth to a child and force the father to pay child support for at least 18 years. Paternity fraud occurs when a man is forced to pay support for a child that isn’t even his. Studies of DNA tests show that this is the case from
20 – 30% of the time. Many men’s advocates are in favor of choice for men, which would give men the right to joint custody of their child, or the ability to sign away all rights and responsibilities regarding the child.


Domestic Violence against Men

Domestic violence is a serious issue that affects both men and women. However — for reasons of funding — public policy has traditionally concentrated on those cases where women are victims and men are abusers. Many people are concerned about the lack of attention given to male victims. Here are some facts to consider:

• According to a recent CDC survey, 1.5 million American women are severely assaulted by their "intimate partners" each year. It is less known that 835,000 men are also assaulted annually by intimate partners, representing some 36% of the total. (Note: the methodology of this survey has been criticized by men’s advocates as flawed, however this is still a significant finding).
• Women and men assault each other with roughly equal frequency. This would make the difference in the above figures even closer to parity. However, women are somewhat more likely to be injured, and are more likely to report injuries to police. (It should be noted that there is no standard definition of an “injury”).
• Women often compensate for their smaller size by using weapons such as knives, guns, baseball bats, and fireplace pokers. One study found that 86% of female-on-male violence involved weapons, contrasted with 25% in cases of male-on-female violence.
• Men are usually reluctant to call the police in a domestic dispute for fear of ridicule. Also, police will often arrest the man even when it is the woman who committed the assault.
• Many women's shelters exist in the United States and other Western nations, but there are very few shelters for men.
• Child abuse, a related issue, is committed by women more often than men (and even less often by a biological father).

Domestic violence hurts us all, either directly or indirectly. While it is important to maintain assistance to women-victims, proportionate aid should also be given to male victims. Rational laws and public policy would help in achieving this goal.
Media Representation of Men

Media bias against men generally falls into two categories: errors of commission and errors of omission.

Such errors of commission are common in the mass media (TV, radio, newspapers, magazines, books, movies, and the internet). TV is perhaps the worst offender in this category. Men are routinely portrayed as boorish and inadequate at best; violent and perverted at worst. TV sitcoms commonly feature pathetic and uncouth men who are constantly in need of rescue by their “superior” girlfriends, wives, or female relatives. It is also “acceptable” for women to kick, punch and slap men in these programs. Even worse, crime shows routinely depict men as sexually deviant and murderous. Meanwhile, commercials portray men as idiots, unable to care for their children or understand the function of household appliances.

Of course, this contempt for men can be found in other media as well. Newspapers and magazines commonly print articles written from a feminist perspective. The reader is given the impression that women as a group are victims of male oppression, when the reality is far more complex and ambiguous. Cartoons often mock men and boys as stereotypes rather than real people, while also portraying violence against males as humorous.

Men’s advocates often ask whether it would be acceptable to substitute “women” or “blacks” for “men” in the above situations. Such disrespect wouldn’t be tolerated. Surely men deserve the same consideration from the media.

Errors of omission occur when a male perspective is either omitted or downplayed in the above situations. For example, the phrase “women and children” is commonly used when describing people affected by a particular crisis. This implies that men are somehow more expendable. The phrase “men, women, and children” is much more inclusive. If the media is to achieve a fair balance in gender issues, men’s viewpoints should get the same attention as women’s viewpoints.


Workplace Issues for Men

Preferential hiring and promotion practices for women are common in the modern workplace. Affirmative action programs have done little to provide equal opportunity for anyone, while giving preference to women who may or may not be the best qualified candidates for given positions. The myths of the “glass ceiling” and “pay gap” have been repeatedly debunked, yet feminists continue to use them as excuses to demand preferential treatment. Promoting and overpaying under performers will eventually result in higher costs to the consumer and lowered productivity overall. It must be understood that some professions are more attractive to, and better performed by one sex or another. While jobs should be open to anyone, men and women both deserve an equal chance to be considered on the basis of performance and ability, not gender.


The issues of sexual harassment and workplace violence have probably done more to harm morale and cause distrust among co-workers than they have to uncover improper behavior and punish offenders. Men are especially suspect under these relatively recent company and government policies, which tend to favor women. An offhand comment or misunderstood gesture can now cost a man his job and ruin his career, and, as in other areas like divorce or domestic violence, a man has little or no recourse in defending himself. Certainly women should have adequate protection in real cases of sexual harassment or intimidation, but this is an issue where employers have gone overboard in implementing policies. A rational, realistic consideration of these policies needs to be undertaken — with due process and presumption of innocence — as the policies themselves are far too often abused for purposes unintended by those who established them.


Men’s Health and Safety

Men’s health and safety lags behind that of women’s in several areas. Men are more likely to die from heart disease, stroke, cancer, infectious diseases, accidents, suicide, and homicide. Consider these statistics for the United States:

• Males have a higher overall mortality rate than females at all ages (roughly 1.6 times greater). This mortality ratio is roughly the same as that between blacks and whites. Also, men have higher mortality rates for the top 10 causes of death.
• In particular, males have a suicide rate roughly 4 times that of females – this ratio is 14 times greater for the elderly over 85.
• Men represent some 94% of workplace deaths annually as a result of being concentrated in the most hazardous professions.
• Men are 3 times more likely to use illicit drugs, and 2 times more likely to be alcoholic.
• Men have a life expectancy roughly 6 years less than women.
• The disparity in longevity is greatest for black and Native American men.
• In 1920, this difference in life expectancy was only 1 year, which implies that improvements in public health have disproportionately benefited women.

In spite of these disparities in health and safety between men and women, public policy has concentrated on women’s health issues at the expense of men’s health. For example:

• There is an Office of Women’s Health in the U. S. federal government, but no Office of Men’s Health.
• While most funding at the National Institutes of Health is non-gender specific, some 10% of this funding is for women’s health, with only 5% given to men’s health.
• In particular, funding for prostate cancer research receives less than half the funding that breast cancer receives, even though both diseases have roughly equal mortality rates.

Given the interdependent nature of the sexes on health issues, surely it would be beneficial to society as a whole if men’s health and safety were taken as seriously as women’s health and safety. Greater advocacy, research, and information in this area are much needed.

Circumcision of infant boys is a related area of concern to men’s advocates. It is now questionable whether the benefits of circumcision are worth the risks. As the practice of genital mutilation of girls is forbidden, boys should at least get the chance to make a choice for themselves, when they are old enough to make an informed decision.


Education

Contrary to feminist assertions, a boy in school today is at an automatic disadvantage. As many “Women’s Studies” graduates end up in teaching, feminist theory has filtered down to the high school and elementary levels. Because feminist ideology requires that boys be educated in the same manner as girls, a boy’s natural tendency to be more active and outspoken will always be a “problem.” While boys thrive in learning environments that emphasize physically connected hands-on activities, they are confined to sitting quietly for hours at a time. Some schools have even eliminated recess and any kind of active games.

Such insensitivity to the learning needs of boys has contributed to the following:

• Boys are three times as likely to receive a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder as girls. They are also more likely to be drugged as a result of these diagnoses.
• Boys at all levels are far more likely than girls to be disciplined, suspended, held back, or expelled.
• By high school the typical boy is a year and a half behind the typical girl in reading and writing, and is less likely to graduate from high school. This is despite the fact that special attention to girls’ needs have eliminated the advantage that boys once enjoyed in math and science.
• Boys are now less likely than girls to go to college.

This disparity in boys’ educational performance carries through to the college level:

• Males now represent only 43% of university students (and the Department of Education predicts that this gap will continue to widen).
• Among black university students, only 33% are male.
• Men who enter college or university are less likely to graduate from college or go to graduate school.

Part of this difference may be due to the fact that the less than friendly school environment that boys face becomes a hostile environment for young men when they enter college. Some instructors feel free to make disparaging remarks about men in class, while campus newspapers routinely carry articles with an anti-male bias. Consequently, some young men may leave college, rather than stay in an environment where they feel devalued or even despised.

Title IX is a related educational issue which started out as an attempt to guarantee equal opportunity for women in athletics. This has evolved into a system of rigid proportionality between sports participation and enrollment for women. As female enrollment has increased, institutions of higher education are required to increase the proportion of female sports participation in order to meet their required target. This has resulted in many athletic programs for men being cut, while it is questionable that women even want the levels of participation in sports that are required. As with other gender issues, differences in participation rates should reflect individual interests and abilities, rather than an arbitrary quota system.

School violence has been an area of particular concern for boys. Unfortunately, recent school shootings have been carried out mostly by boys, resulting in violence prevention material that targets boys in particular. Overly repressive zero-tolerance policies have probably stigmatized many innocent boys unnecessarily far more than they have helped to prevent violence. While schools should take reasonable precautions against school violence, it would be better if the root causes were also addressed (e.g. bullying and anti-male attitudes by teachers and administrators).


Other issues

While the six above issues are the most prominent, there are others that deserve mention as well. Some of these are briefly described below.

Male-only selective service registration is mandatory for young men between 18 and 25. Failure to register is a felony punishable by a fine of up to $250,000, imprisonment for up to five years, or both. Furthermore, if a man fails to register, he can be denied certain benefits such as student financial aid and government employment. At times of war or national emergency, the draft can be reinstated by Congress and the President. Such military conscription, while perhaps necessary for national security, is a prime example of men being required to take a disproportionate risk of injury or death.

Unequal sentencing for men is the rule in the criminal justice system. Men are more likely to be imprisoned (and are given significantly longer sentences) than women for the same crime. The death penalty is imposed almost exclusively on men. One study showed that for a conviction of first degree murder, a man is 22 times more likely than a woman to receive the death penalty. While in prison, a man may be subjected to rape and other forms of assault — a phenomena that, unlike with women, is tolerated by prison officials and laughed at by late-night talk show hosts.

Two other common themes in men’s issues are false accusations and double standards against men. False accusations of domestic violence or child abuse may result in a man losing custody of his children, while a false charge of sexual harassment or discrimination may result in him losing his job. Even worse, a false accusation of sexual assault may result in an innocent man being imprisoned — women are generally not punished for making such false accusations. Various studies have shown that 40 – 50% of accusations of sexual assault are false. Meanwhile, double standards against men are also common. For example, the media often praises female-only sports clubs as “progressive,” while deriding private male-only clubs as “sexist.” Similarly, unmarried women are often described as “strong and independent,” while unmarried men are disdained as “immature” and having a “fear of commitment.”


Conclusion

As society began to value women more, and feminism became ever more exclusive and elitist, men became devalued. This is morally wrong. There is no valid excuse for valuing one sex over the other. It is also wrong to attempt to build women up by tearing men down. Anti-male bias ultimately harms everyone, as the men who are ridiculed in the media and cheated in family court are someone’s father, brother, husband, or son.

It is time that society recognized that feminism (particularly the “gender” and “radical” variety) is a social experiment that failed. It should be replaced by a movement that fairly balances rights and responsibilities for both men and women – one that values the complementary nature of the sexes rather than pitting one against the other. Only then can society be on a path to true gender fairness.


What you can do for men’s issues

Contact the media: Write to your newspaper, magazine, radio/TV station or internet service provider expressing your concern at the lack of sensitivity toward men’s issues in the media. Or call in to a talk radio show.

Confront people engaging in anti-male bias: In the most tactful manner possible, of course. Let people know of the harm that such bias causes, and that you would like them to stop.

Boycott companies that use anti-male advertising: Write to companies that promote their products by disparaging men or boys. Let them know that you will boycott their products and services until they cease this practice.

Contact your politician: Let your politician know your concern about men’s issues, and that your vote and support may depend on their position on these issues. Join a political group or caucus, if one is available in your area.

Join or form a local men’s group: This is a great way to meet others in your area who are interested in the men’s movement.

Get better informed: The following contacts, resources, and books are a good start.






Contacts and Resources

Desert Light Journal

http://www.desertlightjournal.homestead.com/


Men’s Issues Online

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MensIssuesOnline


Mensactivism.org

http://www.mensactivism.org


Men’s News Daily

http://www.mensnewsdaily.com


MaleDepression.com

http://www.maledepression.com


National Coalition of Free Men

http://www.ncfm.org


National Congress for Fathers and Children

http://www.ncfc.net


Stop Abuse for Everyone

http://www.safe4all.org


Domestic Violence against Men

http://www.dvmen.org


Men's Health Network

http://www.menshealthnetwork.org/


Suggested Reading

Baumli, Francis. Men Freeing Men: Exploding the myth of the traditional male
(St. Louis: New Atlantis Press, 1985).

Farrell, Warren. The Myth of Male Power (New York: Berkley Books, 1993).

Farrell, Warren. Women Can’t Hear what Men Don’t Say: The myths that divide couples and poison love (New York: Tarcher/Putnam, 1999).

Goldberg, Herb. The Hazards of Being Male: Surviving the myth of masculine privilege (New York: New American Library, 1976).

Hoff-Sommers, Christina. The War against Boys: How misguided feminism is harming our young men (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2000).

Hoff-Sommers, Christina. Who Stole Feminism: How women have betrayed women (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994).

Nathanson, Paul and Young, Katherine K. Spreading Misandry: The teaching of contempt for men in popular culture (Montreal: McGill-Queens University Press, 2001).



© 2003 by Steven G. Van Valkenburg. Adapted from “What is the Men’s Movement” by Trudy W. Schuett. Content used with permission of the author.

dalin
08-09-2007, 01:17 PM
So do any of these set off any issues with you?

dalin
09-29-2007, 02:29 AM
If so jump on

snugsnug
09-29-2007, 08:32 AM
Divorce and Child Custody
• Media Representation of Men
• Workplace Issues for Men
• Men’s Health and Safety
• Education
• Other issues: Male only selective service, unequal sentencing, false accusations, and double standards against men


I do have issues with most of these, and as recently as last winter. I will share on these later.
sterling

Bruce T.
09-29-2007, 12:07 PM
Men's issues? Insecure/unrealistic romantic relalationships. Court bias against husband in divorce "settlement". Children raised by their mother to hate their dad (a big issue for me over the last 2-3 days). How to start dating again after 12 years in self-exile. Dealing with the not yet, but nevertheless inevitable sudden death of my only remaining parent, my most benevolent and understading earthly Father. Lingering grief over the death of my Momma. Guilt about not being around for the rearing of my children because I was too busy drinkin' and shootin' opiates. Ad infinitum.

Yeah, we got issues!

-b

snugsnug
09-29-2007, 01:53 PM
the courts have no idea what it was like trying to kick dope and raise a family, what an aweesome responsibility that was for me. to be able to find ways and means to use and to find ways and means to support my family after i use, it litteraly wore me out. was the single most hardest job i have ever had, and to think the judge decided to give all my wordly possisions and future paychecks and my children to the junkie that i used with, now that was insanity. judges do not think that mothers are junkies, just dads. well excuse the f**k out of me.
i still have some more but i do not like to be unspiritual, i will share some more later.
sterling

dalin
09-29-2007, 04:31 PM
I am glad you are here man.
I think it is awesome to have this sight where we can do this stuff together.

snugsnug
09-30-2007, 08:57 AM
education, now you have really gotten me started, up until last year i felt so unworthy, it just seemed to me the men folk got what they could and the rest went to the women folk. now, in school there are more women than men, and i think that is just ashame.
i have been truly blessed to be able to return to school after thirty-one years and get my degree, i have been truly blessed to be able to maintain a good average to keep on going, and i have been truly blessed to study in a feild that is truly dear to me.
today my resentment for education has been let go, and for that i am truly grateful.
thanks for letting me share,
:Dsterling:219:

docwill
09-30-2007, 10:16 AM
Guys,
I gotta say that the biggest issue I have had to deal with as a man has been entitlement. I grew up in an era where it was considered a "man's world" and the woman's place was subordinate. This led to all kinds of resentment and convoluted relationships as women began to stop thinking of themselves as second class citizens and demanding their place at the table. I hated it, and fought it tooth and nail. And I was wrong.
Also, and again, it's probably a product of upbringing, but I grew up classist and racist. If you weren't like me you were somehow inferior. I thank my Higher Power for the Program and what Recovery teaches: we are all coming from the same place, travelling the same road. Addiction knows no class or race or gender, and it was what it took to get me out of my little closed enclave. Now when I feel angry or resentful, I try to look to myself, not you, or my wife, or my daughter, or someone with a different accent or skin color, or different clothes or customs.
That's my take on men's issues.
doc

Crankie Yankee
09-30-2007, 11:20 AM
****in aye yeah! I have many issues with women in my life and women in general. In fact the only woman I completely trust is my 73 year old mother. God bless her for the things I've put her through. Today I can be a son to her because of my higher power and the program I choose to use. I can identify with most of the issues that were listed above and then some. If I was to get it all out and write down all of my feelings on these issues in this thread it would take a very very long time. Partly because I am awed by Dalin's post in the first place and need time to sort it all out. When I first read it, I was saying to myself, "wow, maybe there is another man out there that feels the way I do". Funny how we addicts think the world revolves around only us. Now I have to go and greet my 4 year old son when his ever so kind and friendly, (sarcasticly speaking of course), mother drops him off for visitation today. Thank you Dalin for your post, and thanks to the other guys that shared as well. Ya got a big high five comin at ya from New York.
Mike

snugsnug
09-30-2007, 05:19 PM
double standards is another hot button for me. i understand when women have their periods, and i can also understand them being uncomfortable, so why don't they get something to help them through it. no they would rather just use those three to seven days to make our life miserable. its like every month they have a liscence to just be as mean as they want to be,, and expect to get away with it. now thats a double standard.
sterling:191:

Crankie Yankee
09-30-2007, 07:12 PM
My ex doesn't use or need the excuse of having PMS to try and make my life miserable. Key word TRY. She does a good job of it 24/7/365.
Could you imagine Hilary Clinton in the White House? Her husband Bill was the one who came up with all this affirmative action BS wasn't he? Or was it her speaking through him? After all, the poor guy had to resort to his friend Monica to get a little. Who knows, I'd like to be a fly on the wall in that household. On second thought, maybe a blind fly with great hearing.
I wouldn't be surprized if this thread turns into some kind of flame war.

snugsnug
09-30-2007, 09:44 PM
flame war, if it bothers 'em then they should'nt be in the "men in recovery" forum. we need a space where we can go and not have to worry about getting cut off, or getting the cold shoulder, or having to sleep on the couch(i actually enjoy sleeping on the couch)
sterling:191:

dalin
09-30-2007, 10:54 PM
I think we can relate in so many ways.
Relationships can be tough on us all.
I feel though that we were taught in such a diferant way than they were.
I know that alot of the things I was taught werent necisarily
meant to be taught.
I feel that the men in my life taught me alot by mistake,
and it makes me think of the things I show my kids,either
directly,or by omission,
I know we are always instructing.

Crankie Yankee
09-30-2007, 10:54 PM
ahhhhhhhhhhhh cool. I didn't know this was a "mens only" forum. Thanks for pointing that out. I wouldn't doubt a few of 'em take a peek or two. hahahahahaha I'm fortunate enough to have a mens only meeting in my area once a week but there is a womens meeting that runs simutaniously in the room next door. They ***** and moan that we have the bigger room and the coffee pots. In my views they don't have as many people in thier meeting so there is no need for a bigger room and maybe they should make thier own damned coffee! :cool:
Thank God I stumbled across this forum. I have some BIG issues and resentments I need to work through. Sometimes getting a womens point of view helps to know where thier "sisters" are coming from but nine times out of ten they get pissed off at me when I let it fly. Can't live with 'em can't shoot 'em. Tonight my current girlfriend came home with a puss face. I asked her if she was alright or if anything was wrong and she snapped at me and said, "NOTHING"! We all know what that means and it certainly ain't nothing. WTF? Thank god she's allergic to alcohol and thank God for small miracles! Peace out.
Mike

dalin
09-30-2007, 11:03 PM
Gld you are here my freind.
I know that in order to get along with my girl freind I
NEED TO KEEP an ongoing relationship with you guys.
It helps me to keep a good balance.

Bruce T.
09-30-2007, 11:56 PM
All I can say, and I know y'all can read between the lines here, "then let 'em go catch their own ... fish!"

Vehemently yours,

-b

Crankie Yankee
10-01-2007, 12:29 AM
"supposed" current. hahahahahahaha Thanks Bruce. My "current" moved in on me faster than a raped ape! I think she thinks she can "fix" me. Boy does she have another thing comin. She pretty much knows all about me and that makes me wonder why she even wants to be with me. I'm starting to think she has some issues of her own regarding relationships. Maybe I'm the one who's got another thing comin. Ya think? :eek:

Crankie Yankee
10-01-2007, 12:45 AM
Hey, don't they say not to make any major life changes for atleast one year of sobriety? Especially regarding relationships? I ain't stupid, just a little dense.

Bruce T.
10-01-2007, 12:57 AM
Say there, ye Crankie Yankee,

I was just fixin' to go to bed (my preferred spot, the rapidly wearing out recliner chair). but checked my e-mail and got your post (I'm somehow subsribed to 50+ posts/threads here, which I very much value).

Yeah, my "current" I have not even met her in person. It's all in cyber space. Stupid, huh? I'll admit to that. But the love and the pain are, to me, just as real as if she and I were face to face. And yes - the women do lurk around this forum, though I at least show the decency to stay out of their's. If they don't like what they see here, .... well. I still got a plate full of fish heads, if you catch my drift.

Best to all you MEN,

-Bruce "Mr. Misogynist (for the time being)" T.

snugsnug
10-01-2007, 06:30 AM
:84:

docwill
10-01-2007, 08:31 AM
Hey guys,
for what it's worth, most of my relationship problems came from one of two issues: or maybe one issue with a couple of different faces. First, I spent more time guessing what a man was supposed to be than being a man. The men in my family didn't know how to be men--they knew how to drink, be depressed, fight and abuse the women in their lives--all lessons I learned well. Second, out of that insecurity I looked for women who would fit with me: needy, lost, low self esteem, co-dependent, cause they would take my abuse and blame themselves. Pretty predatory, eh? Pretty ugly too.
The reason, I think, we get into relationships before we are sober very long is that staying sober, working on the steps, we are going to find out harsh things about ourselves. We want love, but we don't want the pain that comes from learning enough about ourselves to practice self love, so we find a woman with similar issues, promise her the stars (real or implied) and give her zip. And then blame her for it.
Those are my thoughts, anyway.
doc

Bruce T.
10-01-2007, 09:15 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m-xZ4gz4MM

-b

docwill
10-01-2007, 09:48 AM
Haha ha ha!!!! I loved it!