http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums A safe place for those either in recovery or seeking recovery to seek help and support from alcohol and drug addictions. en Mon, 06 Sep 2010 02:43:39 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25905&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 00:23:12 GMT Alcoholics Anonymous History & Christian Recovery
Dick B.
© 2010 Anonymous. All rights reserved

Summary:

Three weeks of talks in California by Dick B. & Ken B. (Sep 12-Oct 1)

Covina, Costa Mesa, San Juan Capistrano, Newport Beach, Escondido, San Diego,
Carlsbad, Huntington Beach, San Jose, Livermore, Oroville, Auburn, Brentwood.
(You may request and receive the itinerary if email dickb@dickb.com by Sep 8th)

Several talks will be recorded by our hosts and then posted on our main website

An opportunity for you to help us meet some of the trip expenses:

Donate: Use paypal on www.dickb.com; Phone Ken at 808 276 4945;

Complimentary Dick B. book of your choice for donations $30.00 and over.

God Bless, Dick B., dickb@dickb.com; 808 874 4876; PO Box 837, Kihei, HI 96753-0837

:idea: ]]> A.A. With Dick B. dickb http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25905 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25903&goto=newpost Sun, 05 Sep 2010 06:10:16 GMT My boyfriend of seven years is an alcoholic. I love him very much, but it's been a hell of a ride. I've grown increasingly desperate and I'm turning to this forum and going to try Al Anon too. If I don't do something, well I have to do something because I am dying inside and going insane. Besides alcohol he is also seriously addicted to video games (as well as cigarettes and weed). The video game addiction is actually pretty scary because he takes it quite seriously and may erupt in violence if I interfere. He has a history of addiction going back for 20+ years.
I don't have a lot of experience with addiction. But over the years I've lost touch with "normal". He has a strong personality and it's gotten so that I accept his version of appropriate behavior all too often. I feel sort of brainwashed. I find myself jumping though hoops to please him and in his eyes there are all these things wrong with me. Like, he could be loving if only I would ____ fill in the blank. He doesn't see the alcoholism as the core relationship issue. His focus is on my "faults", but my faults are these things that are the product of his generally cold and abusive behavior. He is physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive. Now that I'm writing this I could just go on and on.

It's REALLY confusing trying to figure him out. :confused: There is no figuring him out. He is angry all the time and it's like he doesn't have any emotions anymore other than angry. And I mean ANGRY. :twisted: But of course it's MY fault that he's angry. If only I would do this or not do that.....

One of the things he been doing for going on two years is accusing me, pretty much daily, of cheating on him. I'm not. But like I said this started two years ago when he had broken up with me and I actually started seeing another man. When he wanted me back I didn't entirely break things off with the other man right away and I lied about it to him and then when it all came out and I told him everything he was extremely hurt. He's never trusted me again and I've tried so hard to earn back his trust. The accusations are like attacks and are mean spirited and often make no sense of any kind - like I take my niece out for ice cream so I must be cheating. He has even accused me of cheating when I was out in his yard, but out of site in the back. I'm cheating when I'm in class or at work or driving or sleeping or in the bathroom or at the grocery store........you get the picture.

This last year of drinking has been the worst ever. He's a shell of the guy he used to be, unrecognizable. I know I have to save myself because my life has crumbled and it's going to keep crumbling and I'm not helping him any either. We just go round and round and round in this sick pattern that we both hate. And reading back over this and knowing all the details I wonder why I still love him. I guess for the guy he used to be or what we were together at one time or could have if things were different.... We loved each other and I think we could share a happy life and the loss of that rare gift makes me crazy. :8: I HATE his alcoholism. I feel like I'm battling satan for his very soul and I'm losing. And now everything is so bad that I need to battle for myself because I've been utterly losing it. ]]> New Member Intros jaguar55 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25903 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25902&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 21:43:20 GMT this is a great example of the fellowship that 12 step support groups provide. http://www.pullingtogethermovie.com/miami?cm_mmc=MIAMI-_-MO-_-08.31.2010-_-PUTGmov hope you all enjoy it! light and love Gail this is a great example of the fellowship that 12 step support groups provide.

http://www.pullingtogethermovie.com/...2010-_-PUTGmov

hope you all enjoy it!

light and love

Gail ]]> clean42day http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25902 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25901&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 20:12:05 GMT As I start the path to recovery I think that if I knew whether my addiction was physical, psychological, or both, it would expedite the process leading to abstinence. Any thoughts, experiences, would be greatly appreciated. If I fail on my own, I... As I start the path to recovery I think that if I knew whether my addiction was physical, psychological, or both, it would expedite the process leading to abstinence. Any thoughts, experiences, would be greatly appreciated. If I fail on my own, I have an inpatient facility I'll use. :6: ]]> Newcomers Recovery Help/Support Mosel http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25901 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25900&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 18:56:58 GMT I had known him (sponsor) for many years. Not personally, but I remember him from a Saturday morning meeting. I could'nt stop thinking of him. I was having lots of problems in my recovery, so decided to make that morning meeting to see if he was there. He was'nt. A few weeks went by and I tried to see if he was there again. He was. Years have went by and I did'nt think he would still be going to this same meeting, but God works in subtle ways. Now Im at the meeting. What will I say to him? How will I approach him? My mind was racing. I was scared. Just before the meeting starts he gets up almost like God directing his steps. I followed. Now where both ouside and as nervous as I was, I asked him if he will guide me through the steps. I've been working through the steps with him for some time now and glad I have him as a sponsor. One of the best things I did in my recovery is humble myself and get a sponsor to guide my through the steps...Clean:1::12::17: ]]> clean4ever http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25900 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25899&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 16:58:40 GMT ....and I'm an addict.

I stumbled upon this site and am so grateful I did! I'm in treatment for the first time and as of this writing I have 79 days without using any mind-altering substances! I bold my number of days because I am so proud and so amazed. It's been at least six years since I had more than just several consecuative days clean.

I attend daily NA/AA meetings in my area and I'm involved in service a little bit by helping set up a meeting. I have found a great sponsor and am slowly making a few connections with other men and women in recovery. I am a lucky one who happens to live in an area with an abundance of meetings at all times of the day and night....there is NO WAY I'd have 79 days without these meetings, they are my lifeline.

I look forward to reading, reading, reading here.

All the best,
Buttercup ]]> New Member Intros Buttercup http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25899 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25898&goto=newpost Sat, 04 Sep 2010 04:19:13 GMT This is my first time on here. I've thought about it for years. My BF of seven years is an alcoholic and he is abusive. I'm so alone. Tonight I just wanted to drive over to his house and beat him until he turned back into a human being. He is so cold and cruel and he treats me like I'm not even a human being, just some thing he owns and uses. I'm crying all over my keyboard as I type this. I don't want to be alone in this anymore. I hope there really are others like me in this forum so I can have someone to talk to. I'm losing my mind. I don't even know why I still love him. I guess because of I keep hoping he will turn back into the man I fell in love with, if that man even existed at all which I'm not sure of anymore. This situation, this path I've been on with him, has destroyed my life and broken me into a million pieces. I don't know how I will ever put myself and my life back together again. The worst part is he doesn't care at all. I know he is sick. But it hurts so bad. I've fallen so deep into a depression that I can barely function at all. I lose days at a time. I lost my job. My life is a mess. I don't want to hurt like this anymore. I'm desperate, so desperate. I want away from this pain. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. ]]> jaguar55 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25898 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25897&goto=newpost Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:14:31 GMT I feel powerless against crack cocaine. My husband ha a real problem with it, and it spilling over to me. I was clean and sober for two months, but last night I let temptation get the best of me and I gave in to crack again. i know I can quit... I feel powerless against crack cocaine. My husband ha a real problem with it, and it spilling over to me. I was clean and sober for two months, but last night I let temptation get the best of me and I gave in to crack again. i know I can quit again, but its real hard when he continues to do it. He is spending our bill money now, and I feel powerless to stop it. He always calls the shots in this relationship. As i type this, he just left to get more. What am I to do? I think I need to go to NA or CA meetings. I have a friend who will take me. it's all I can think to do. Doing crack cocaine did not make me happy last night. It only made me feel bad about allowing myself to get in that situation again. Can anyone identify with me? I sure could use some advice.

Troubled,

CK ]]> Narcotics Addiction - Substance Abuse Recovery ck95624 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25897 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25896&goto=newpost Fri, 03 Sep 2010 03:36:09 GMT Just stopping by to introduce myself. Thank all of you for being here:29: Just stopping by to introduce myself. Thank all of you for being here:29: ]]> New Member Intros jerseygirl http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25896 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25895&goto=newpost Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:49:20 GMT No.......Thats a complete sentence. Im a people pleaser and always use to put people above myself because I had such low self-worth. Today Im learning new ways of just being myself...Saying NO when I dont want to do something is something Im... No.......Thats a complete sentence. Im a people pleaser and always use to put people above myself because I had such low self-worth. Today Im learning new ways of just being myself...Saying NO when I dont want to do something is something Im learning to practice. I would always say yes to something then get resentful and fuss and fret over it. What I was really mad at was myself for not saying NO. Learning to be honest with myself and others is tough, but well worth it. Also learning to speak up and assert myself is something I also need to work on. Growing up the youngest of four in an alcoholic home was no fun. I learned to hold my thoughts and feelings to myself for fear of stirring up more violence in the house. It was'nt worth it. So I learned the skills of silence, escapism, and Isolation. Which worked well in a house of madness...My escape into myself eventually lead me to drugs/alcohol. Today Im learning its okay to feel. I have nothing to hide anymore. Sounds like the laundry list of ACOA..1) We became isolated and afraid....2)We became approval seekers...3) We are frightened at angry people...4) We either become alcoholics...etc...I am an Adult Child....Clean:sad::8::cool: ]]> Adult Children Of Alcoholics clean4ever http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25895 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25894&goto=newpost Thu, 02 Sep 2010 10:45:16 GMT I was reading someones step 1 over their foo. Then it was like, wham, it hit be straight between the eyes, my foo flashed through my mind in fast forward and I had to laugh to myself, how could I have not seen it before?Yes I've spent yrs in therapy and recovery groups talking, but I don't think I believed myself really. Always felt I was glaming it up or talking about someone elses life that i'd heard about. But no, it is true, and my foo were dysfunctional and toxic. Oh man do I feel free now, I think not quite believing it has kept me running round in circles between wanting help and feeling guilt for "telling". Cripes, how normal my life with own family feels now, I think not quite getting it at my core kept it firing up within me, kept it going, kept me reacting to it in my subconscious, but now its conscious it feels so simple now, I mean of course I've always felt as I did, who wouldn't growing up with family like that! Gonna put this to bed now, night john boy, night grandpa, night foo. ]]> Adult Children Of Alcoholics Essex http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25894 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25893&goto=newpost Thu, 02 Sep 2010 04:19:30 GMT For those who want to keep up to speed on our continuing research on the origins, history, founding, Original program, and astonishing successes of the early A.A. Christian Fellowship founded in Akron in June of 1939--as well as the role played by... For those who want to keep up to speed on our continuing research on the origins, history, founding, Original program, and astonishing successes of the early A.A. Christian Fellowship founded in Akron in June of 1939--as well as the role played by God, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Bible in all of these, and can play today for those who want God's help and diligently seek it.

We recommend GoArticles.com
See http://www.goarticles.com/cgi-bin/author.cgi?C=196997

There you will find these research articles posted in chronological form, easy to read, easy to reproduce, and valuable for AAs, NAs, AA history lovers, historians, scholars, counselors, sponsors, treatment programs, rehabs, prisons, sober living houses, and Christian recovery fellowships and treatment programs.

Again: http://www.goarticles.com/cgi-bin/author.cgi?C=196997 :162: ]]> A.A. With Dick B. dickb http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25893 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25892&goto=newpost Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:29:13 GMT Hello all, just introducing myself quick! Have been searching for a good cyber home and it looks like this is the place to be! I am a fan of forums but spend most of my free time on fitness and bodybuilding related boards, today I decided I wanted... Hello all, just introducing myself quick! Have been searching for a good cyber home and it looks like this is the place to be! I am a fan of forums but spend most of my free time on fitness and bodybuilding related boards, today I decided I wanted to frequent a more recovery based forum with like minded individuals who have been through what I have and maybe could be a little more understanding for certain topics...

A little about me, I am 28 years old, recently divorced, because of alcohol abuse...got out of in-patient treatment over six months ago and today I am feeling great about sobriety...I am a firm believer in physical fitness as a tool to help you become a success in sobriety! I believe that bodybuilding saved my life and that is no joke...I will write my story in the profile section, too extensive here I think! But anyway, I am glad to be here and am looking forward to contributing to this forum in anyway I can!

FbI ]]> New Member Intros Forged_by_Iron http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25892 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25891&goto=newpost Wed, 01 Sep 2010 17:28:39 GMT Bio on Jimmy K. p. 38 - 40 from Southern Exposure Thursday, 15 January 2009 11:50 User Rating: / 3 PoorBest There are no translations available. Bio on Jimmy K. p. 38 - 40 from Southern Exposure

Thursday, 15 January 2009 11:50

User Rating: / 3
PoorBest
There are no translations available.



A Dream Come True

JIMMY'S STORY - PAISLEY, SCOTLAND

Jimmy Patrick Kinnon is considered by many to be the founder of

Narcotics Anonymous. He was one of the original seventeen who attended

the very first N.A. recovery meeting as well as the preceding planning

meetings in 1953. He spent the next three decades of his life in dedicated

service to the fellowship. When N.A. died briefly in 1959, it was Jimmy

who took a leadership role and restarted meetings. He opened the doors and

made the coffee. According to his obituary, "he lived in near poverty,"

fitting his devotion to the fellowship.

This chapter covers the birth of the fellowship of Narcotics

Anonymous, the early struggles and the building of our foundation. It will

become clear that Jimmy K. was in every aspect the founder of the

California movement, though others may recognize him only as "one of

many significant contributors." This characterization is also very valid.

Jimmy himself recognized that "there are no big shots in N.A."

Jimmy was born April 5, 1911, in Paisley, Scotland, and spent his

early years in this small town known for colorful wildflowers, museums,

and plentiful theatres. During our research, we had the opportunity to

interview his widow Betty K., and she told us about one of his childhood

experiences that clearly played a role in the development of the fellowship

later in his life.

Jimmy was outgoing as a child. He even counted the town drunk,

Crookshank, among his friends. Crookshank also befriended Jimmy. Jimmy

would find him sick and injured as Crookshank got into fights from time to

time. On one particular occasion, Jimmy found his friend badly beaten and

bleeding. Jimmy went for help.

Jimmy wanted to know when his friend was coming back; his

mother kept repeating "next week." He was unrelenting, so his mother took

him to visit his friend. Jimmy found Crookshank in a wheelchair, incoherent

and despondent. Once their visit concluded, Jimmy was quiet and subdued;

his mother asked what was wrong. His response was prophetic. "When I

grow up, I'm going to help people like Mr. Crookshank." As we know

today, Jimmy's prophecy came true.

His family decided to move to the United States in the 1920's.

Upon their arrival at Ellis Island, he was separated from his parents when

38 Chapter 2

they were sequestered for medical reasons. A family from Germany

watched him until his parents were cleared; they were obviously worried

and unsure about their own disposition as political refugees. If the Germans

were not admitted, they would be sent back and most likely, they would be

put to death. Once his parents were cleared, Jimmy left, never to know what

happened to his newfound friends.

First, Jimmy and his parents went to New York City, and then onto

Philadelphia, where they settled. Jimmy was a fighter, both literally and

figuratively during these years. He enrolled in a private school with hopes

of eventually entering the priesthood, but it was a half-hearted goal. This

began a period of alcohol use, and he began using other drugs as his

addiction developed over the next twenty years.

While in his thirties, Jimmy moved to California and finally put

down roots in Sun Valley, a small town in the San Fernando Valley

bordering Lockheed Airport, which was later renamed the Burbank Airport.

He became a roofer and painter, married and had six children, all the while

continuing to use.

A series of arrests led Jimmy to confront some of his problems,

and he was able to begin his recovery. Jimmy found his way to Alcoholics

Anonymous in North Hollywood, California. On February 2, 1950, he

began a 35-year journey. It was not long before he would find others whose

addictions involved drugs other than alcohol.

In 1950, Jimmy was introduced through friends in A.A. to Betty

T.,who invited him to attend a Habit Forming Drugs (HFD) meeting. HFD

meetings were held in private homes. Jimmy K. attended a few meetings

but left disappointed. "These meetings were hidden; a few people meeting

in apartments. They had no formal meetings or plans to do so." These

groups did, however, create a place for addicts to share apart from A.A.

meetings. This alone was significant, since addicts were not typically

accepted in the "A.A. inner circle" if they spoke about their identification as

an addict.

During the next year, he had what he described as a spiritual

awakening. He suddenly knew that everything was going to be all right, and

that ifhe wouldjust follow directionsaccording to his own conscience, things

would work out. He felt that he had made contact with some inner part of

himself and the entire universe, and he identified that as his Higher Power. It

was undoubtedly this particular experience and his single-minded

determinationto makeN.A. succeedthat sustainedhimfromthe '50s to the '70s.

Birth Of A Fellowship

39

In 1951, Jimmy was asked by several A.A. members to help start

a meeting for addicts. He learned about the New York meetings from the

Lexington newsletter,

The Key, and decided to contact them; he spoke with

none other than Danny Carlsen. It is not clear whether this was the only

communication or if others occurred later. Betty shared that Jimmy was

offended with Danny's personal request for a donation to their struggling

organization. The New Yorkers had sought and received plenty of publicity

as published photos relinquished their anonymity. They were accepting

monies from outside sources, allowed professionals to speak at their

meetings, and appointed their own chaplain. Jimmy had already been

schooled in the newly accepted Twelve Traditions; therefore, he was aware

the New Yorkers would most likely not succeed.


"They were no more than a social service organization than a fellowship,

but, I really liked their name

- Narcotics Anonymous."

Jimmy K.

There are several variations as to how the initial meetings came to

fruition, though the most reliable and accepted version indicates they took

place at the insistence of either a Los Angeles County probation officer or

police department representative (specifically the Narcotics Division). They

knew something needed to be done to help addicts. Jack P., an alcoholic

who knew little about addiction to other drugs, was asked to help by the

official. His affiliation with the A.A. Institutional committee is the most

likely reason he was involved in the initial formation of a group for addicts.

The first meeting was held in the summer of 1953.

STAGG STREET

In July, a group of addicts began serious discussions about forming

this new group. Cy M., an early member, attended the first two meetings

and Jimmy attended the third meeting of what can best be described as

informal planning meetings.

Finally, on August 17, 1953 a groundbreaking meeting was held at

the home of Frank and Doris C. in Burbank, who were both friends of

Jimmy. The purpose of this meeting was to formally create a program for

addicts. The result: Narcotics Anonymous, as we know it today. Jimmy

would later speak about this meeting while sharing at the 20th anniversary

dinner in 1973: ]]> Narcotics Addiction - Substance Abuse Recovery dalin http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25891 http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25890&goto=newpost Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:30:31 GMT Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Because our body chemistry is so damaged by our disease of addiction, it is important to pay attention to our body's nourishment needs. Are you eating regular balanced meals? It's often more important then we realize and we should never allow ourselves to be hungry or nutrient starved.

Give me the foresight to feed my body the nourishment that my disease robbed it of in the past. ]]> Daily Recovery Readings yukonm http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=25890