Another fear of quitting

[skyhook]

Originally Posted by IntoTheLight

The level of denial that some people have is simply amazing. There comes a point when continuing to ignore the symptoms amounts to enabling the addict.

Sorry, but equating "enabling" to basic, human decency and courtesy is a rather self serving statement, in my opinion. My post history, to the contrary, is available to anyone who would consider "enabling" part of my makeup.

ITL, I appreciate much of your input around here, but occasionally your impatience or need to be right opens the door to avoidable damage, in my opinion. As well-rounded as you are, I am suprised, frankly, that you don't acknowledge this, rather than magnify your blind spot by assuming my intentions on this subject.

I learned a very long time ago, that my timetable imposed on another is a recipe for disaster, not only in my life, but more so for the person on whom I have just leveled my "expertise". Just because I started this race before them, is no excuse to taunt them as they start theirs. They are running now and engaged and scared and hopeful and scared and in need of placing one foot in front of the other on this track. Asking them to jump ahead, based on my impatience or need for affirmation is at best, not fair and at worst, damaging to everyone involved.

By respecting someones place and timing in the recovery process, we allow them the same grace afforded to us in our process. Drive by mail-reading has no benefit whatsoever, except to get us quickly to our next assigmnment or duty, at the expense of the person we have just laid waste to, now in our rear view mirror.

I also believe that access to speak "truth" into anothers life is something that is agreed upon by each party, if it is going to be fruitful. This is the essence of the Sponsor/Sponsee relationship,,,something forged in the privacy and trust dynamic of two people getting it done. It is built. If those are the rules and requirements of that dynamic, how much more so are we to be careful with those who would wander into our Forum, looking for help.
Who are we, to slice, dice and cutup their offered "text" and presuppose we got their number and their anecdote.

I would suggest that TL and others like her, will find there way just fine, if we stay out of the way and simply offer our own stories. She and others can fill in the blanks for their own lives.

They are not our personal crossword puzzles

Peace

[TaylorLeigh]

Just wanted to thank everyone for posting without exception. One post sort of hit on my thought process. My problem isn't a drinking problem, it is an emotional problem. I can't cope and I can't share with people in person. I value stoicism and appearing in control even as aspects of my life spin out from under me. It's all about saving face. As I mentioned in a post to hetiheti in the newcomers intro section ... I think this is why you CR.netters can call yourselves alcoholics and I can stand here and defend that I am not.

That said, bottom line is wanting to stop at some point right? even if you don't title yourself with the big 'a'? Congrats to all of those out there that are sober today. I'm proud of each one of you. Strong and inspirational. Keep it up :)

Taylor

[skyhook]

ITL:

Frankly, my post had nothing to do with you.

I took exception to a false definition of "enabling" and posted my opinion and own experience with that. We can agree to disagree, as long as we're talking about the same subject and in this case, the subject wasn't about you. You simply engaged the topic. My apologies if that was not clear.

Your point about techique and eithics is a good one.

Personally, I hold people with longer experience in recovery to a higher standard, than the new explorers, prooving once again, that my expectations get me in trouble everytime. Calling out a veteran is far different than calling out a newbie,,,IMHO.

Thanks for your dedication to serving those in recovery. It does not go unnoticed and we all benefit from your participation here.

Peace