Afraid of your thoughts.

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Here is a problem I have seen with many alcoholics. They are afraid of their own thoughts.

To me, if someone is afraid of their own thoughts, it tells me they are not really in control of them.

Their experience tells them that if they have a certain thought, they are somehow compelled to act upon it. And so they feel afraid.

My experience tells me that just because I have a thought, it doesn't mean I have to "own" it. It doesn't become "my" thought until I decide to give it merit. If I know I am not compelled to accept and act upon the thought, then I am safe enough to consider it and see what I might learn.

This way, I am free to hear all kinds of different thoughts - other people's and my own -without necessarily being affected by them. And so I feel empowered.

You have this ability, too.

For example, if you are driving down the road and you see an advertisement for car insurance, somebody else's thought has now been put into your head. But you don't automatically decide to purchase it. If it seems important enough, you hang on to that thought for later and maybe even act upon it. If not, you immediately dismiss it.

Here's the thing...

You can do that with any thought! You don't have to own any thought, feeling or belief unless you know it serves you!

So if your fear is serving you, great! If you have the thought that "AA is the best way for me" or "My way is a combination of different things" or "I don't have any other choice" or "Mike is a dangerous crackpot", then who is anybody else to judge!

Only YOU know what you are thinking! And only you can decide which thoughts are your own, and which thoughts have been put into your head by other people, for reasons of their own.

If you are still afraid of what you might think or do, then I applaud your efforts to find the Mind that you have lost, to heal the Body you have abused, and to recover the Spirit that is the truth of who you really are.

[alcoholrehabcoach]

To be clear, this is not a question of being afraid of consequences. It is a question of being afraid to consider thoughts.

My belief is that:

Being afraid of danger is healthy. Being afraid of your thoughts is unhealthy.

In my head, in my life, in my conversations, in my forum, I have the right to censor and omit any thoughts or comments that I consider to be unhealthy, or will lead to unnecessary drama.

Just as you have the right to do in yours.

IntoTheLight, as you and I have polar opposite views on many different things, I would indeed welcome the opportunity to discuss and or debate this topic with you at length, if value can be given to the group at large.

Once again, in a single sentence, my current position is:

Being afraid of danger is healthy. Being afraid of your thoughts is unhealthy.

In a single sentence, can you tell me your position, Light, so that together we might set some ground rules for the conversation?

I feel that is in the best interest of everyone concerned. What do you think?

[alcoholrehabcoach]

So where would you like to start?

If the slate has truly been wiped clean and we are ready to move on, is there anything else you'd like to discuss or talk about right now?

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Ah. I see. You are still waiting for further clarification. Is that correct?

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Why else would a person fear a thought, if they were not afraid of where the thought could lead?

If there was no danger of acting on the thought, then why would they have any fear of thinking it?

[alcoholrehabcoach]

Originally Posted by IntoTheLight

Maybe I"m not being clear.

I understand someone would be afraid of a thought because they were fearful of acting on it. For example, an alcoholic getting triggered by seeing an ad for beer and being afraid of taking a drink.

You said: Their experience tells them that if they have a certain thought, they are somehow compelled to act upon it.

What I am asking is why you think they would feel "compelled" to act on that feeling?

Because they believe they are powerless or addicted.

[alcoholrehabcoach]

I think you may be right. So before we go any further, perhaps we should start with a mutually agreeable definition of addiction.

In my book "Set Yourself Free: The Guide For Drunks, Smokers, Addicts and Millionaires" I have stated that “A habit is an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary. An addiction meanwhile, can be defined as a habit you can’t break without feeling some adverse effects."

I offer that definition to you now, simply as a starting point.

How do you define addiction, or what else might you add?