WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON 2 THIS PLACE WE CALL HOME

[clean42day]

ITL..................

Chewi - was refering to a common checklist that many recovering members go through that has to do with the steps and traditions.

it is sometimes prudent for members to check themselves and their own ego's to see if there is a character defect lurking below the surface to drive a situation, event, or relationship....or yes even a discussion or debate. once the motiviating force is uncovered - we can usually attribute it to a fear that is even futher underneath that.....all of that can manifest in the need to be right or to be overly defensive...it may even manifest in discrediting others...ect. for instance - for me it took a really long time for me to learn to say "you might be right" or "I could be worng".

Principals before personalities - is part of the personal developement process we all strive for to stay diplomatic. I myself don't want to have to do an amends for my behavior - so I try to check myself in the moment before I wreck myself.

I am sure we can all have our own opinions as long as we don't attack others for having theirs. We Stick to the principal or topic being discussed and try to leave personal attacks out of it. Some do that with grace and some don't.

Remember not everyone here is at the same stage of recovery....we also take that into consideration and be tolerant of others too.

[clean42day]

Life surrounds us with teachers, if we are but willing to learn. Actually, everyone and everything in our life is our teacher. They teach by example something we'd like to attain or something we'd like to abandon.
~Marie T. Russell~

[IMG][/IMG]

[zoomie]

Just a thought, but I think it's more healthy for a person with a problem to PM a Person that they have a problem with then to report them to the administrator. That is of course if the person is reasonable. I'v been here for a long time too and we get people who just like to report every little thing instead of resloving it. Or there are people who need reporting because they are attacking and flaming. We do Try to get along here and help the new comer in the best way we know how. When I do not know about a subject I still pop in and say hi and welcome. Just for the record, the modorators here are human, I know Tammy gave me a chance a long time ago to help out knowing it was helping me more than I was helping other people. We get people who are in real need of help and are on their last legs. We give them hope and hopefully good direction. We get people on here that are already solid in their recovery and want to share their ESH. We just have to remember that we all just have one day at a time. So at anyrate Debate is good,but too much and we can lose our focus on what we are trying to do here and that is recover.

[Chewi]

From the Big Book, pp. 66 -67:

"This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick, too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, 'This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.'
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one."

Thank everyone here who has shown me kindness and tolerance and who have offered me encouragement! It is greatly appreciated!

[Starlight]

Zoomie,
I read your post, and you made some very good points.
The first time I read the part about you saying that members should try to resolve issues by pm's instead of contacting the Administrator, I was rather taken back. But then I read your post again, and then saw the "if the person is reasonable" part. So yes, I agree with you when the situation meets that criteria. However, I think that the members here should feel free to contact the Administrator when a situation arises that they don't want to get pulled into the drama. The fact is, the 'report post" button states it is to be used for "problematic (harassment, fighting, or rude) posts." I would like to think that the Administrator can handle & resolve certain situations better than those personally involved because the Admin's job is to act in a fair & diplomatic manner, making sound decisions based on what is best for the entire forum.

This is a public forum, but we must all remember that we are guests. Our membership is a privilege, not a right. If we don't agree with the rules & regulations, or the general tone of the forum, then we should leave & find someplace else that suits our needs & mindset better. There are countless other forums out there... each one unique. The key is to find the one that we feel comfortable in, one where we feel welcomed & our input is appreciated by others... the one that 'fits just right'.

[skyhook]

The thing about the internet and any Forum, is that it is a moving, living entity, constantly changing and morphing each day. Its something very unique, a moving target and trying to bottle it or guide it is rather useless...it will do what it will do and even if we think we know the intentions of the text, we really don't, entirely. And thats ok.

Not unlike our real world, drama can creep in and somedays we handle it better than others. Real drama or percieved, I'm a big fan of real and this place is full of enough real drama in folks lives, to make our petty food fights seem small in deed.

The difference between an arson event and a food fight, is that a point of origin can be tracked in arson, but not in food fights. When the jello settles, its just a big mess and everybody is adorned with a bit of it. But food fights never killed someone either, so perspective is important.

The great thing about these type of discussions (as others of so well stated), spawned by unfortunate, spirited banter, is that they help all of us refocus to the main mission of this site, which is humbly meeting travelers at the point of their need and offering guidance, hope and prayer...and that will always be worth the price of admission, which I think is humility, because we all know where we have come from.

Humility is my greatest ally, yet the most elusive, and yet here I am, once again aquainting myself with it and its benefit to myself and more importantly to others. It, humility, allows us to participate in some small way and to witness the miracles in progress before our very eyes. People just traveling through, just asking for some water along their journey.

Hopefully, no more food fights, but if not, lets save the water for those who thirst and need it...badly.

Peace.

[Jay Bee]

GOD IS GOOD, I HAVE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THE THEIR FEEDBACK ON THIS THREAD. WE ALL CAME TOGETHER , ON THIS ONE. I TRULY BELIEVE WE COME TO A SOLUTION, AND ALL I CAN SAY IS, I LOVE THIS PLACE I CALL HOME AND THE PEOPLE HERE. AGIN THANK YOU!

[Just42Dave]

Originally Posted by TaylorLeigh

Maybe I'm in the minority here and I don't really know what this is in reference to, but I for one have no problem with others arguing if it is their true feelings on a matter. I think an open forum is healthy... but then again, I haven't even spent 1 day in 'recovery'... so maybe that makes a difference too. I'd hate to think actually that recovery = loss of self, loss of humor, loss of being able to handle criticism or loss of being able to decipher the truth from the emotion.

Thats cool...If a newcomer is mislead that hey being clean means no more arguing no more uptight feelings no more conflict,no more ego,no more no more blah blah blah,,then we would be liars..As well as the previous post if that detours someone whos been in a dope house for 20 yrs ,,yeah they probably werent serious any who......I love this forum and the people on it and the newcomers ..But...we are still people with our own thoughts and feelings and will usually stand for something before we fall for nothing....
Just think of the personalities in a dope house,,,take away the drugs and look at whats there......Wow very strong people without the drugs and booze,,hahah wonder how that'll turn out
I hope something good happens for all of you today..You too Jaybee

[olla86]

This thread is so positive and optimistic!! Thanks for your love to nature and our planet!