My power

[Rabbit]

When I became a teen, my parents took my power.
I grew frustrated and angry.
I started using alcohol and drugs.
I left home. Sold my butt to pay for my habit.
Found God. Got clean and sober.
Met a man fell in love.
Gave him my power.
Got frustrated and angry.
Started using alcohol and drugs.
Getting clean and sober.
Wanting my power back.
He won't let me have it back.
I married the school yard bully thinking he'd protect me.
Didn't know he'd turn on me. Take my power.
Run my life.
I will stay clean and sober. I will get my power back.
Stay or leave, I'll get my power back.

[mikethesmaller]

Hello again Rabbit,
Great post about power. It has something to do with step 1 in the case of me and my family, the bit about life being unmanageable. So I was 22 and had been out of control since about 13. At the same time my mother was hitting the bottle and various things like getting her a job were tried to try and straighten her out. My dad was quite overwhelmed and began, where he could, to manage our lives for us. In my case he tried to keep me on a career path and help with my finances while keeping me away from my sister, and with mum it was a case of never leaving her on her own because she might burn the house down. Mum is 88 and still not sober so he never did get on top of that one, but his whole life became about minimizing the harm mom could do. When I got sober it changed the dynamics a bit and while dad was always supportive, he found it hard to let go of the habit of managing my affairs. Not his fault, just how this disease seems to affect families. Family members are nearly always well behind the alcoholic in recovery terms. There had been so many false starts and let downs in my case that it is hardly surprising that it took quite a while for him to accept and adapt to sober me, but eventually he did and I had a great relationship with him from then on. I didn't like that lack of power or the struggle over power, if that's the right way to put it, but as I did the steps and saw my own role in creating this situation, I could see I left him with little choice (other than abandoning me altogether) and I realised he acted out of the best intentions. Si I suppose it's that unmanageabilty thing again, even when we are doing well, the rest of the world can be slow to appreciate it.

God bless,
Mike H.