Step #9 - {Amends} Direct and Indirect..

[clean4ever]

Yeah..thats better and to the point...I do have other mental health issues other than addiction. I will go back to step one and apologize for my stuff. Whatever I wrote I was in another world. Sorry about that. I'll do my best to not repeat that behavior. Hope you accept my apology, Clean

[mikethesmaller]

Thanks Clean, apology accepted and much appreciated. That was a great example of step 10 in action.
God bless,
Mike.

[Ed C.]

Hi Guys,

The other day I wrote in another post; that in my experience, most of the people we hurt while practicing our addictions don't want to hear lip service from us. To make amends literally means: to change for the better. Yes we have to apologize for our actions, but how many times did we apologize in our addictions? We must show that we are willing to change things.

One of the hardest amends I have had to make was with a young lady who I impregnated back in my teens. My selfish actions pretty much made it impossible of ever knowing the child. Sure my daughter was made available to me to "get to know", after I was initially told by the judge to "never" get near the child, but her mother believed that it was important. She tried to get me to show some interest by coming to the bar I hung out in and taking me to see the child. I was plastered, so I will not go into the details of how the meeting went. Basically that was the last time I saw my daughter.

Since I have become sober I made numerous attempts at making the amends that are needed with that situation. The young lady I impregnated does not want to hear it. My daughter is a grown woman now in her 30's. So who blames them for not wanting me around drunk or sober? I dropped the ball way back when and I may pay for it for the rest of my life by not ever really knowing my daughter.

Here's the thing! I can't let that stand in my way of continually making things better. I gave it to God, and it is still an issue that remains on my list. The list that I made constantly reminds me that I have to act in my daily life with the best of intentions. I have to realize that my actions directly impact a lot of people on a daily basis.

At best this is a practice. Even though I have been sober for over twelve years, there are many times that I have found my way acting selfish. The difference today is I can identify my actions and do something about it. That is how I have worked on my list for the past twelve years. With patience and diligence. Some people have come around and some people haven't. All I can do is do my best! With Love and Respect, Ed C.

PS. I did want to address sponsorship and the length of time that someone should take to do their steps, but I think that is better left for another thread.

[Chance]

Hi Ed C :) Nice knowing you! take care OK!