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Old 03-30-2012, 12:36 PM   #1
ItsMe
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Advice please

I quit using opiates a little over a week ago. I have been in a methadone program for exactly 8 days and haven't used opiates (besides the prescribed methadone) since I started. Long story short, I used for right at a year, using an average of 250 milligrams of Hydrocodone/Oxycodone daily. I have been married for almost 5 years and have a 16 month old son. My husband had had it with my drug use and my lies. I had lied to him the entire time, mainly about where I was spending money. Of course, there were other lies that went along with my drug use, like where I was at, etc. I have exposed everything to him and given him the truth and we seemed like we're doing a million times better, regarding our marriage, over the past week. I have felt so extremely proud of myself for quitting. I understand that Methadone is basically an opiate but it's worked miracles for me, in the meantime. I don't get high from it at all. It just keeps the withdrawals away and helps me manage. My problem is...my husband has lied to me about 2 things in the past week. The lies aren't about anything big. It's his REASON for lying that bothers me. I know I deserve it, since I lied to him for so long but I don't feel like we're going to get anywhere this way. We haven't gotten any mail all week and we've talked about how crazy it was that we weren't getting mail. So, I had him go by the post office this morning to see what's going on and he ended up telling me that it was because our mail was "on hold". I said, "who put our mail on hold?", really confused. He said that he did because he didn't want me getting any of his mail, that might contain a credit/debit card. While I totally understand where he's coming from, I don't understand why he felt the need to lie about it. I asked him why he lied and he told me that "I lied to him so he was going to do the same to me". This is the second time he's given me that reason in the past week. Now, I don't feel secure in our marriage and I"m scared that this is going to happen frequently now. I have a feeling that he'll cheat on me eventually and give me the same reason. We've never cheated on eachother by the way (atleast not that I know of). What do I do? Do I just take it and not say anything about it, since I deserve it? I've told him that it hurt my feelings but he obviously doesn't care. Advice please? :(
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Old 03-31-2012, 08:58 AM   #2
Ed C.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 67
Hi All,

Here's the only bit of advice I have for you; just keep on working on staying sober. Don't even know how to respond any better than that with the little bit of information that is written in a paragraph.

A week of sobriety probably hasn't changed anyone elses mind that you are serious. It seems we are not so sensitive when we are doing the lying and etc., but when the shoe is on the other foot, well? Keep it up on the sobriety!
With Love and Respect, Ed C.
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Old 03-31-2012, 08:11 PM   #3
Eleven11
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Posts: 32
Hi Its Me!

Welcome to this site...Methadone, huh? You are exactly right about it being an opiate, it's synthetic heroin. I can only share my experience and being a recovering heroin addict or if you want to relate to me an opiate abuser, look for the similarities and not the differences. You are gonna kick once you stop taking the methadone, that's a given. I'm not here to give you advice and I'm not going to sugar-coat the things that I'm saying...It is going to be real hard withdrawing from methadone or any pharmaceuticals for that matter. If I could suggest getting into a 28 day in patient treatment, if you can find one that is longer that may be better. You've got to focus on YOU getting better. Go to some NA meetings, get a sponsor that has a sponsor, work your steps, build a support group and continue reaching out to other people that are in recovery. It can be done, I promise you that but you have to be willing to do the homework. Don't trip on your husband everything will unfold the way it's suppose to. Remember "Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes." God Bless You and Your Family.

Felicia
Clean date 1/12/2002
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Old 04-01-2012, 08:29 AM   #4
Craig A.
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Location: Forest Park,Ill
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God bless you for taking the first step! Remember it is a "One day at a time" program. Yeah going on methadone will be harder and more painful to quit than heroin, even though there will be withdrawls from heroin, I agree go to a detox but unfortunately now you may need a hospital setting to detox from the methadone but do call some detoxes in your area and they will have more info for you and they can direct you to go into a safe environment. I say this because I have worked in a detox before but in a social setting not a complete medical setting and methadonewithdrawls were more serious than heroin. But don't just stop doing what your doing now without a doctor's advice, it might lead you back to using.

I am not a family cousenlor or anything but I think you need to focus on yourself, your program, and your sobriety (especially how are you going to stay sober). First this lie isn't a malicious lie it is a protective lie sort-of-say, all he is doing is trying to protect everybody involved with this disease (not only himself but guess what you too), so the disease has a way to do whatever it takes to take the focus off itself and put it on something else. Guess what if you keep using and lying yourself you will not have to worry about mail, husband, kids, family, job, friends, and anything else that you care/love because they will be at a different address altogether.

This can be the end of the old using, unhealthy life and the beginning of a new sober, healthy life, my suggestion is focus on yourself and how to maintain sobriety because without sobriety anything else is will be lost anyways. You have made a good start, first try to get into a detox, then a treatment center, go to a 12 step program, find a sponsor, work the steps, keep going to meetings, and be gentle with yourself. remember we didn't destroy our lives overnight and it will take time to re-build our selves but with help and action couplled with fellowship and love we can be sober one day at a time! I hope this helped a little and I will keep praying for you to walk with faith! Keep coming back!
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Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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