Weekly Meeting 9/8 - 9/15

[Prescott]

OPENING NEW DOORS

They [ the Promises] are being fulfilled among us
- sometimes quickly,
sometimes slowly.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The Promises talked about in this passage are slowly coming to life
for me. What has given me hope is putting Step Nine into action. The
Step has allowed me to see and set goals for myself in recovery.
Old habits and behaviors die hard. Working Step Nine enables me to
close the door on the drunk I was, and to open new avenues for myself
as a sober alcoholic. Making direct amends is crucial for me. As I
repair relationships and behavior of the past, I am better able to
live a sober life! Although I have some years of sobriety, there are times when the "old stuff" from the past needs to be taken care of, and Step Nine
always works, when I work it.

©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©

Topic: Making direct amends....Has it opened any doors for you??

One of the hardest amends I had to make was with the Arizona Justice system. At about 1 1/2 yrs sober I surrendered myself to the courts. Facing a number of felonies and looking at a possible 4-5yrs it was a very scary deal.
Faith in the recovery process and a new baby faith in my Higher Power I gave myself over. The system really didn't know what to make of me, and they really didn't have a process in place to deal with someone doing 9th step work. They left one felony conviction in place and dropped all the other charges...15 days time served and get back to what your doing cause your not the man we where after. By clearing this up I was able to go on and walk through many new doors that had been closed for so long because of my past rap sheet. Today before anyone does a background check I tell them up front what they will find and what I did to correct it. Today I am convinced that by the act of turning myself in and the willingness to set things right opened a channel for a closer relationship with my Higher Power.

[peajaye]

I can remember sobbing over the promises, wanting them to come true in my life, especially "we will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it". I did regret the past (big time) and I did wish to shut the door on it.

When my dtr was very small, I was in active addiction and there were many people around to help me with her, so I was able to not be "tied down". There are a few memories I have that scream to me FIRST STEP. My desire to get clean, though it had to be for me, was born in my desire to be a good mother. I wanted to be a mother for many years and didn't think I could get pregnant so when I did, it was a joyous occasion. The fact that I was failing miserably had a lot to do with the desire I had to change my life. My amends to dtr is that all though while her personality was being formed she lived in a chaotic drunken drugged up environment, I've shown her one day at a time turned into 20 years, how to uncover, discover and recover.

I asked my sister how my drinking/using had effected her. She told me of a time that I remembered well. My dtr was not yet a year and I was in a wedding. It was a big shin dig and we partied all night long. The night I was to pick her up I did too much THC and couldn't walk or talk so her father called to tell sister I wouldn't pick up dtr until the morning. My sister says dtr was sick and when babies are sick, they need their mothers so she said that was a time my drinking had effected her. She had to sit up all night with a sick baby that wasn't hers. So it still goes back to my performance as a parent.

I did that with all my family amends, first asked them how my behavior effected them and then I knew better exactly what amends needed to be made, instead of just making blanket amends such as I know I behaved badly.

I can't say that I no longer regret losing those precious first years of my dtr's life, but I can see clearly how my compassion for young mothers trying to get sober has enabled me to reach out. My experience is hope to them. I can see how God took this pain and used it to HIS GLORY.

[eve3]

i inturn get my real family back...ive asked them especially my older sista and she said u just keep doing what your doing..ive since been able 2 spend not one but 2 christmas with her and her kids and my mom,patsy...and this yr they might be coming to my anniversery,i wont get my hopes up because moms said she would come since the day i got in the program stuff happens though...however each year i celebrat i do it on or around the 15 of oct which is her b day..and i say happy b-day,as j said i also did some time but my charges werent dropped i went in clean...and thats gods will and i praise him 4 that because i got more knowledge when i went back with 10 mnts clean...when i got this recent job,she had already known of me through signatures and others..i also told her about my record and even gave her my cori, thanks 4 letting me share ty big john for the topic...god bless...eve

[Bruce T.]

I know for a fact that I will never be able to complete Step Nine because so many of the people I harmed were complete strangers, while to make ammends to others that I know would only bring harm to them. But the WILLINGNESS to do so in Step Eight brought me so much further into sobriety, a relatively honest way of living, and closer relationship with humankind and the God of my limited understanding, I can learn to live with the inability to make ammends to whom everyone I should.

Thanks for letting me share,

-Bruce T.

[clean42day]

Working Step Nine enables me to
close the door on the drunk I was, and to open new avenues for myself
as a sober alcoholic. Making direct amends is crucial for me. As I
repair relationships and behavior of the past, I am better able to
live a sober life!

Making direct Amends as it relates to the promises; reminds me of this quote.

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, we can all start from today and make a brand new ending." Carl Bard

As Bruce said step 8 gave me the willingness to want to repair the damage I had caused in my life and to others, and step 9 gave me a plan of action to carry that out. Not one thing in particular opened doors for me, but collectively the whole 9th step process made something spiritual "shift" in my life. It was not just being willing and taking action, it was also a kind of healing, closure, and giving myself permission to "release" myself from all the percieved self-punishment/penance for all my past wrongs. I didn't have to keep on saying sorry over and over and over agian; I said it once and then put the amends into my actions. It gave me a way to walk through a door and then close that door behind me. It talks in the BB in many places about how this program helps up become free, free from the bondage of self, free from the bondage of alcohol, free from the bondage of _______ just fill in the blank. Well step 9 helped me close a chapterof destruction in my life and open a brand new blank page called: under reconstruction and Creating a new history with myself.

for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last

Part of building that arch took putting blind faith into motions and actions and letting God take care of the outcome.

I couldn't have planned it better myself. mostly because of step 9 - I am no longer the person I used to be - I wallked through that arch and haven't had to look back since.

light and love

Gail

[Doraine]

After about 12 years of not talking to my family I made amends to my aunt, my sister and my mother. My mother was happy to hear from me. She called and wrote. She gave my address to my brother and he wrote me. I told him about cyberrecovery and he joined. I was pleased to learn he has 20 months of sobriety.