Weekly Meeting 10/23-10/28

[Gracie]

Weekly Meeting Topic 10/23-10/28/07

How do you handle the awareness that comes with sobriety? Awareness of emotions, awareness of yourself, etc.

[DianaMarie7968]

How do you handle the awareness that comes with sobriety? Awareness of emotions, awareness of yourself, etc.


in my recovery i'm finding that seeing through clear eyes, I see alot of people with lots of diffrent personalities, I'm aware that the "Animitity" is often broken, I too got sucked up into that for a couple of months , not knowing any better, but I can easily and honestly say that i can sit back, TRY not to judge, TRY not to take others inventory!
I take up my own inventory daily! i dont gossip like i did in the beggining....its all a process for me...I'm aware of the 13 stepper! and stay awaytoo! LOL...ty, love Diana

[Gracie]

Thanks Diana!

Awareness has been a tough one for me. Once my resiliance layer, or denial was lifted, the awareness brought much fear. Fear of the reality of my emotional well being, or lack thereof and the fear of myself, or what I'd done.

I've been in much prayer with God and alot of honest conversation with myself. Not always easy, I'd much rather blame, but I'll never learn, I'll never grow without awareness!

I've had venting sessions full of anger to help me with my awareness. I've had times of weeping, weeping from the soul to help me with my awareness. If you don't feel it, you can't heal it!!

I truly take it one day at a time. God will not bring me to something without offering the strength for me to endure it. His strength is there for the taking, I only have to pick it up!!!!!

Awareness, at times, has brought me to the bottom of the pit of pity! Calling myself all the nasty names, telling myself how awful I am, how stupid I am, how lazy I am, etc. All that negative chatter in my head is bad, bad, bad when I'm in a place of awareness. So, I have to remember that first and foremost, I am forgiven. And secondly, God loves me!! He made me who I am, He understands me better than I understand myself. He will not give me anything more than I can handle. Which is interesting, because we've all heard that line and think, "Bullsh*t, I can't handle this!!!" But, God won't give me anything I can't handle.....WITH HIM!!! Not on my own free will, my own human mind, my own limitations!!!! So, when that "thing I don't think I can handle" is awareness, I'll give it to God and pick up His strength to get through it!!

As for the judging of others, I have been guilty of that so many times! And my own experience is this:

Once I became aware of my life, my choices, my alcoholism, my everything.....just who in the he** did I think I was playing God and judging???? I don't know where you came from! I don't know what your life is like!! I don't know what it's like to be in your skin! I don't know what goes on in your head or behind closed doors!! So, I can't judge you! Because ultimately.....I don't want to be judged for all the same reasons.....You don't know where I've come from! You don't know what my life is like! You don't know what it's like to be in my skin! You don't know what goes on in my head or behind my closed doors! I'll leave the judging to God....I've got my own messy bed to take care of

Thank you for letting me share!

[janbear]

DianaMarie, spoke of "having clear eyes". I appreciate have the clear eyes to see my own character defects and do something about them and being able to see that i have a few assets today. I can say that i am more aware of my emotions today and also being aware that others around me do too.
Living the 12-steps helps be aware And above all how God works in my life to change me.

[fibiray]

This is a great post. I am currently going through a lot of internal changes. I have struggle consistantly in sobriety with how I react to other people's opinions or confrontation. I can put on a brave face but internaly I am have the reaction of a life time. I am more and more becoming aware of how I react, percieve and internalise people places and situations. I often find this happens piecemeal but I learn something so valuable throughout the process. Step 3 works wonders on these internalisations and my reactions to things and lately I have found that I am achieving a lot more patience and tolerance that I never had before. thats me

Fi
xxx

[admin]

How do you handle the awareness that comes with sobriety? Awareness of emotions, awareness of yourself, etc.

One day at a time with God.

[clean42day]

For me I am grateful for the awareness, I just don't always like the responsibility that comes along with it. somedays I just wanna get away with being a knucklehead and I can't anymore