The Power of Awareness

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The Power of Awareness

By Thom Rutledge

Awareness is underrated and too often overlooked. You might say we are unaware of the power of awareness. Sometimes we are afraid of awareness; we are afraid of what we will see or what we might learn about ourselves if we open our eyes wide and take a good look. We are afraid that all of the negative things we have thought about ourselves will prove to be true. Or we are afraid that if we look, too closely, we will find nothing, just a big blank, empty space. No wonder we so often prefer our faithful blinders, or better yet, blindfolds.
The problem with the blinders and blindfolds is that any sense of security or comfort they offer is, at best, temporary, and more than likely a bobby trap. As tempting as it is to look away from a reality that will predictably be painful to face, clear, honest awareness is necessary for anyone who is serious about transforming long-standing self critical habits into self-compassion. Awareness is a powerful healing agent. Awareness is such a significant part of the foundation for change that when we avoid it or minimize its importance, whatever we build is destined to tumble. Simple, honest awareness will set the wheels of change in motion. It is not all there is, but it is the starting place, the very foundation of lasting change.

Before we take one more step in our search for self-forgiveness, we must slow down come to a complete stop if necessary - and do whatever it takes to rescue the healing power of simple awareness.

Avoiding Awareness

We are programmed to take any piece of new awareness and move instantly to take some action. "Do something. Quick....Something! Anything!" our insides scream as we become uncomfortable with what is going on around us, or inside of us. It's not that you or I necessarily experience these thoughts consciously (although we sometimes will); the trigger to take immediate action is more of a reflex - completely self contained and automatic.

This kind of impulsive movement will remove us from any awareness we are beginning to experience, resulting in more of a medicating or distracting behavior than a positive, productive action. We actually move into the action to avoid the awareness, rather than moving into action as a natural part of expanding our awareness.

And without a full experience of what is going on "in the now," it is predictable that we will be ill-equipped to get where we want to go. For instance, if I want to get to New York City from where I sit right in Nashville, Tennessee, I not only need to know where New York is on the map, I had better know where Nashville is. Knowing exactly where I am right now will make all the difference in my travels. Criticizing myself for being in Nashville when I want to be in New York will be of no use. Avoiding the knowledge of precisely where I am certainly won't help.

And yet, we continue to make decisions, again and again, with out enough accurate information. Besides being afraid of what clear awareness might expose, we are also impatient. We don't like to move slowly, even when it is our Of own best interest. The internal critical messages push us - for them we can never do enough, we can never be enough, and we can never move fast enough.

If you decide to practice slowing down, you can bet that your internal criticism will escalate. Stand firm. Help is on the way.

The Best Advice: Slow Down

"Slow down" - more times than not, these two words are good advice. But this is far easier said than done. For instance, give this a try: As soon as you finish reading this sentence, put the paper down, close your eyes and take five full, deep breaths.... Slowly.

Whatever just happened for you is a perfectly acceptable experience. Maybe - even probably - you haven't stopped reading to experience the five deep breaths. Maybe you did, or you plan to later, or as soon as you find out why I am asking you to do such a simple, silly thing. Maybe you have a Reflex Rebel like I do that says, "I don't have to. You can't make me." No matter how you responded to my suggestion, you have the opportunity to increase your self- awareness. For example, you might be thinking, "I didn't realize how rebellious I become in response to such simple, innocuous suggestions."


When (or if) you stop to take five deep breaths, you will have an experience of self- awareness. And again, even if you refuse to do the exercise, as long as you are paying attention, you will have an experience of self-awareness. It's as simple as that. It may or may not feel simple.

Taking five deep breaths is an excellent technique for checking out the level of your anxiety at any given moment. It's a way to stop and listen to your fears. Again, no wonder we are so impatient: we are trying to outrun our fears, when the better approach is to move toward our fears, gathering all of the information that we can.

Awareness of Negative

You must learn to become more fully aware of the world around you and the world within you. Be aware of your own tendency to interpret your environment in self-critical ways. Be aware of your tendency to convert what is happening within and around you into self-indictment, implicit and explicit messages about how you should do, feel and be different. You might even write these critical messages down in your journal; acknowledge their realness. The fear of bringing these negative thoughts into the light results from a belief that they are true. Facing this inner negativity is essential to achieving the goal of self-forgiveness.

Being safe and feeling fear are not opposites. One of the great challenges of self- forgiveness is finding our way to feel safe enough to finally experience out deepest fears.

Simple awareness is a powerful and necessary tool for facing your inner negativity and the many other challenges that lie ahead. Obviously, waiting around for the fear to subside, or for someone to offer enough reassurance to make the fear go away, will not work. Making a decision to step into increased awareness must initially be a leap of faith.

Patience and Commitment

Please do not misunderstand any of this to say that taking action does not have its place in healthy lives, because it certainly does. Awareness and action, as Forrest Gump might say, go together like peas and carrots.

But our abilities to use awareness are atrophied - they need work, need to be exercised. Ask anyone who has made a comeback from serious physical injury and they will tell you that no matter how simple the rehab exercise program may look, it is hard, hard work. Rehabilitating your use of awareness is no different. No matter how simple it seems (and therefore how you should be able to master it in a day and a half according to your self-criticism), mastering the use of your own simple awareness is hard, hard work and will require a strong commitment and, an abundance of patience.

Don't worry too much if your commitment and patience cupboards are bare. These are qualities of self-compassion that we will be working on all along the way. For now, just put one foot in front of the other and... follow the yellow brick road.

Thom Rutledge, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in Nashville, Tennessee. This article is an excerpt from his book "The Self-Forgiveness Handbook." Thom can be reached at (615)327-3423.


Article Contributed by Steps For Recovery Magazine
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