Intervention Strategies

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Misselle:

When I watched the show Intervention, one of the things that struck me is that the counselor had the family and friends tell the addict that if they don't go into treatment they will no longer be part of their lives. That seems odd to me for some reason. I mean, I can see refusing to enable but withdrawing all emotional support is a bit harsh, in my opinion.

I haven't been through an actual intervention, but I know some of us have - so I was wondering if this is really the accepted strategy? It seems to depart from the disease model - issuing ultimatums rather than helping someone get better by being supportive. But then, I am not very familiar with the concept. Confused

What do you all think? I just know that I would have probably ran straight out and bought a keg if my family approached me in that manner - it would have been very counterproductive.
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zg1000:

I watched the episode of intervention that had the adict and the girl that cut herself.
I think I agree that an approach like that would not have worked for me. I had to make that first step in acceptance. Had my family surrounded me with an "intervention" I probably would have rejected them out of hand. However, I will say that I liked the show. I think we, as a society, need to get the word out as much as possible.

V/R Craig
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cassie:

I, too, would like to know more about this subject. It would seem to me that total rejection would just serve to strengthen the isolation that is already resulting in the addiction in the first place. But I have no experience in this area either.
Thanks angel
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fibiray:

Being a residence in Australia the show that you are talking about I am not familiar with as we do not get it over here. However, the total isolation strategy in one respect is a bit harsh and would have only served me well in continuing to drink. Despite being well meaning I think the approach is a bit of tough love gone wrong. Knocking all the props out from under the alcoholic is one thing but completely annihilating a person may lead to someone dying alone. There is no excuse for persecuting the alcoholic or penalising them because they don't understand the disease or that the disease grips them so strongly. They wouldn't do it to someone who has a disease such as cancer and all it will do is cause the alcoholic to hold a resentment. We lead by example, not by promotion.

chow chow coffee
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soberaddy:

Good morning everyone!
Missele yes it is without a doubt harsh, but that what you call tough love. This type of counselling would be called Rational Emotive Therapy. Even though the person does not see it as this, it is meant to enable them to see what they are doing to themselves and change their belief (which could be I am not worthed, for example). See the actual drinking/using does not cause us to behave the way we do, it is the belief of WHY we have to drink or use that causesus to behave this way. So in changing our thoughts process we will change our behavior. The counsellor was just doing what treatment centres do best which comes down to: You are what you think!

Hope this made sense.
Love
Anne hug angel
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blueeyes1967:

I have to say that I was glued to this show. I have watched a few episodes now and I just don't think intervention would've worked for me. I'd love to know some statistics as to how many stay sober.

Also, I wonder how much money these interventionists make. (Call me cycnical). Every time I watch it I wanna burst through the T.V., hand them a BB and say, Call me when you're ready.
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fibiray:

Tooshay, well put. I know if the same was applied to me I would have died alone one very resentful and angry alcoholic. There are very few people who come to AA that actually get sober and stay sober, and I would like to know how they think they are going to get someone to accept that first step. For me the acceptance that I was an alcoholic was a process and does not just occur because someone has demanded that you do it. If someone is being forced to come to aa or forced to apply the program it simply isn't going to work as they'll spend their whole time struggling until there is no more struggle left in them that they either go mad and kill themselves or go mad and pick up a drink. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. What ever happened to recovery being based on attraction not promotion?

chow chow wow
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Hello:

This is a very interesting subject. I know I had to hit bottom before I could begin to climb my way out. We all have to hit bottom. If there was a way to make my bottom come up and hit me so I could have been spared a few years of isolation and pain, then I would most likely be grateful for that today.

I think it is a huge challenge to be able to completely disassociate yourself from someone you love. I doubt most people would successfully reject the addict to the point suggested in "Intervetion" for any extended period of time. Perhaps just the threat of losing your family and friends would be the spark the addict needs.

I agree with Blue Throw em the BB. The Big Book is the only tried and true method of recovery for addicts and alcoholics (Don't have a clue about cutters). When Bill and Dr. Bob were looking for AA prospects they didn't waste their time on people who weren't clearly open, ready, and willing to make the changes neccessary to stop drinking. Who's to say this method of "Intervention" Isn't just postponing the addicts "Incomprehensive Demoralization" which is neccessary.

Dolbey
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blueeyes1967:

I was watching the show with a friend who has almost 18 years of sobriety and we both just cringed for some of the family when they said things to the alcoholic/addict like, "why can't you just stop?" I just think that until we're done, we're not done. I live in a community with a large recovery community and people go out all the time around here. I still love them, I just hope they finally get done and come back alive.
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fibiray:

I can relate to this one. My mother was another one who would always say things like "WHY DON'T YOU JUST STOP." Over the years there had been several people who had said the same thing. If only it was that easy and if it was do you think that I would have gone to the degrees as I did to get a drink. I laugh when people say this to me today as it tells me that obviously they have no clues, but then again I don't expect them to understand as only an alcoholi / addict can relate.

chow chow stars
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Misselle

Yeah - that does make sense, Anne. I still wonder about its effectiveness though. I had a friend in high school whose parents would always threaten him with military school if he didn't clean up, the more they did that the more he drank and drugged. It was very counterproductive. I would imagine though that it works for some. My Dad didn't sober up until he got fired and my Mom left him - so I guess forcing some people to hit bottom early might help in a few cases.

I think that the key elements that are missing are 1) you can't force someone into recovery (as Fi said) and 2) they are collapsing the support system, which rarely works. Making people feel like crap about what amounts to a medical problem (my 2 cents) is ridiculous. It wasn't until that I actively sought out other alcoholics that I began to feel worthy enough to sober up!!!

I still watch the show though. I sort of hate myself for doing it sometimes, but I can't help it - it is (as I said before) like watching a trainwreck. Hopefully someone somewhere is learning something about addiction - maybe it will help take the stigma away.

By the way - did anyone watch Extreme Dodgeball on the Game Show Network? (Okay I admit it, I have a satellite dish and an insomnia problem!) I laughed my butt off last night - one of the All-Star teams was named "Friends of Bill" - had to explain that one to my husband. They kicked butt too! Wink

Nicole

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fibiray:

My you people have some strange televisions shows over there. We don't get them over here. We do get cable tv which I think is different to what you get over there. I too am an avid fan of cable for those sleepless nights but I also love the radio that comes along with it that had all different music channels. Myself I find myself tapping away at the old hits of the 70's (I know I need to get out of the house more). Must go for now my bell bottoms are calling and
some old Eric clapton has just come on.

chow chow Laughing
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Misselle:

I live in West Texas. I am not a particular fan of country western or gospel music, so I am out of choices! :)
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bluidkiti:

We have alot of music channels also on our TV. We love tuning into those. I know what you mean fibiray about those 70's tunes. dance
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Lyndarae:

HOWDY FOLKS!!!!!!! This is a great topic. In fact I was talking today to a girlfriend whos son is an alcoholic still drinking, they kept on bailing him out time after time. Finally when they said no more,he settled down is holding a job,called them and said thankyou and how much he loves them. The thing is he is still drinking. (((((((fibiray)))))))) I lived in adalaide australia for 3 years so I know what you are talking about with the tv. There was this show I loved about doctors in the bush. I can't remember the name now, and the one with Kylie Manogue???? Back in 87-90. What a hoot down under what a trip that was. LOved it!!!!!!!!!! I dont even know what show everyones is talking about but I think I would like to see it. I think it is so true a person has to hit their bottom. I know I did I went to AA one other time because I was in a treatment plan and that was part of it. I was not ready to stop and didnt for another 5 years of he!!. It has to be different for everyone for some I think it works and others just drink more. All I know for sure is for me I had to lose the most important thing in life the love of my family. THAT WAS TOUGH LOVE. And still is but being sober today was worth it, if that is what it took to be so happy and free today I guess I would do it all over again. GOD has my back so I no longer worry about what is going to happen next (or try not to) going along for the ride is so much more fun than driving. GOOD TOPIC!!!!! This is just my 1.25 worth. It no longer is 2cents now even the price of that has gone up. Good thing I dont drink anymore, from what I here it cost more a gallon of alcohol than a gallon of gas........... GOD BLESS~~~~~~~~~~Lyndarae _________________

fibiray:

Lyndarae, I think the shows that you are referring to are "The Flying Doctors" and the one with Kylie Minogue was "Neighbours". The first one is no longer in production but the other is and is still a big thing in england. I agree that there is nothing more important than the love of your family and I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and a beautifiul son. It is so great to be sober to appreciate this.

chow chow bow
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Janbear:

Like others have said, i think everyone has to hit their own bottom. I got a taste of "tough love" from my husband but not to the extreme that was evidently talked about in this show you are talking about. I tend to think that extreme behavior would have not have helped me. I was to severly depressed and would not have severed a good purpose for me personally. But it may depend on the individaul. What works for some may not work for others.
I love music, especially from the 70's and 80's and listen to it all the time.

I dont watch much TV anymore. The only thing i really enjoy watching is "Survivor". I love that show.
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Misselle:

I have to admit that we don't get many programs from Australia, unless you count the Crocodile Hunter :) But! We do get BBC America - I love British television!! Especially "Coupling" - our programs can't go nearly as far with the humor as the British can. (Of course I was raised on Monty Python too!)

Basically my husband and I watch everything from pro wrestling to the History Channel. I get too much theory and academic "Good for your mind" stuff at school so when I come home I want to watch something as inane as possible. Cool

Thanks for reminding me about the music channels, Jan - we have them too (I just forget..) Maybe there is hope for me yet!

For anyone interested, "Intervention" is on tomorrow night (Sunday)... It isn't on a network, I almost want to say A&E but I am thinking that isn't right either...

Nicole
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Lyndarae:

THATS IT THE FLYING DOCTORS, TA I COULDNT REMEMBER AND THE OTHER WAS NEIGHBORS what a bloddy hoot. Neighbors ha what a trip that was. And oh yes I must watch survivor. I even turn my phone off for that and the amazing race are my faviotes. Man it has been one of those long days ya know. But I hope this finds ya'll doing well and feeling good another beautiful day with gifts and lessons galore. GOD BLESS ~~~~~~~~~Lyndarae
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soberaddy

Laughing Ummmm no "flying doctor" over here in Canada.....but we used to have a "flying nun" though!!! Alleluia! Laughing smile

I recently got a call from my mother regarding my practicing alcoholic brother. She told me Ya he can stop, he just chose not too. I have tried to explain to her that he will not quit until he is ready, until he absolutly has nothing left but to walk through the doors of AA. That worked for me, I hurt so bad that I could not put another drink inside of me. So I basically beg for help.

Keep Coming Back everyone...great topic!

Love
Anne hug hug