A Positive Shift

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Janbear:


A Positive Shift
Art Of Forgiveness

To forgive really is divine. It takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger. It's much easier to hold a grudge. Yet when we make the choice and allow ourselves to put aside that anger and to forgive those who have harmed us, we actually do ourselves a great service. Making the conscious decision to let go of pain is the beginning of healing.
But doing so is challenging because it is easy to become attached to seeing oneself as a victim and to hold onto resentment, even when the person who has harmed us is genuinely sorry. Forgiving someone is both one of the most difficult and one of the most spiritually rewarding choices we can make.

While forgiveness is a noble act, research shows that the person who forgives benefits as much, perhaps more, than those that are forgiven. Expressing true forgiveness is empowering because it helps us to stop feeling like victims and to dispel our own suffering at having been wronged. Our levels of anger and hostility decreases while our capacity to love increases. We are better able to control our anger and we have an enhanced capacity to trust. We are freed from the control of past events, which can help us to stop repeating negative behavior. Both our physical and mental health improves. Though many people feel forgiveness is something that must be asked for or earned by another, forgiveness is actually a gift you give to yourself.

When you are ready to let go of your anger and forgive, it can be helpful to do so internally, whether or not you intend on telling the one who wronged you. It doesn't matter if the person has passed on or if you don't have contact with them anymore. Keep in your mind's eye the person you want to forgive but do not dwell on their past actions or words. As you concentrate on them, sincerely wish for them everything you would want for yourself. Do this for as long as and as many times as it takes. It may be days, months or even a year before you sense a change. But you'll know when you are finished, because you will feel a positive shift and you will feel free.
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Troll:

A fellow trudger gave me a hint on forgiveness and willingness to forgive. He said that I might look at forgiveness as blessing someone before they deserve it. Now, for a resentment filled newly sober troll, that made one he!! of a lot of sense. And, you know...as time goes along, it still rings the bell on those moments when forgiveness is the toughest.