Before AA/NA had you made any attempts at being . . .

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<b>bluidkiti</b> - Mon 05 Dec, 2005 2:20 pm<br />
<b>Post subject: </b>Before AA/NA had you made any attempts at being . . .<hr width=95% class="sep"/>
bluidkiti:
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sober &amp; clean?

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I know I did. There were a couple of times that I attempted to be sober before AA. That usually happened after I had made a big mess and was in big trouble. I would usually make it to around 4 months and then cave in and couldn't take it any more. I did manage to stop drinking during my 3 pregnancies but pretty soon after I had each baby and got home I was back drinking.
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 05:39 am
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The monkey was on my back by the time i was 15. At 17 was my first attempt to stop, i think i made it 2 weeks then i couldnt take it any longer. The at 25 i attempted to stop again. I couldnt make it a day before i started going through the DT's.
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 05:48 am
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Yeah - I quit drinking for a few months when I was 18. My mom was on me bad about my drinking and I knew it was out of hand. Then after I started dating my hubby, I soon started back drinking and partying and added smoking dope to the list. I tried a few other things along the way - cocaine and speed and God knows what else when I was drunk. I liked drinking and smoking dope the best. For a while there I preferred pot over alcohol but pot was hard to come by sometimes. Then when hubby went into the service I eventually stopped smoking dope and went to alcohol all the way. When he got out of the service 12 years later - we picked up smoking dope again but by then I preferred alcohol over smoking dope. Each time I stopped and when I went back to drinking - the next time I stopped was harder. It got harder to just quit on my own and in the end I couldn't stop on my own anymore. A Power greater than me had to do it for me.
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 06:55 am
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So many promises,so little control! Over and over again I would promise myself no more drinking or only drinking on weekends. I guess I could do it for a little while,but then go back. LOL, I thought when I could only drink 3 or 4 drinks and still feel drunk that I cut back,but actually my body could not process any more, my tolorance for alcohol stopped.
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My drinking was Like a bell curve: a little dab would do me,then I needed more,then my body could not drink as much without being sick. I hit my peak between the ages of 16 to 23,then at 24 I could not drink as much. When I started to drink again after many years in recovery, I still could not drink as much. I picked up right where I stopped. I was sluring my words even when I was not drinking,my brain was being fried. Even that did not scare me to stop drinking. I really do not remember what got me sober this time or why I wanted to, I guess I wanted to live more than I wanted to die from being a drunk. I knew too much to live a sane life and that is what was making me crazy. No one said I had to stop,no DWIs,no social worker,nothing except a power greater than myself. I'm very lucky!!! AA is the only way I know how to not drink one day at a time. I hope I never drink again,but I cannot promise,but for today I can say I will not drink!
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 07:43 am
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I remember during the last few years - I would drink a beer - more like slug it down and then set the timer on the microwave for 30 minutes. I never made it to 5 minutes. LOL I also tried mixing it up - drinking regular beer then some non alcoholic beer and then regular beer - seems I always got drunker doing that. No matter what I did - I got always drunk in the end and blacked out, passed out. I tried having just a 12 pack in the house to drink - forget a 6 pack - what was the point? Anywhos I would get to about the 6th or 8th beer and then make a beer run for more beer. I eventually quit that because my hubby would fuss so bad about me driving to the store after I had been drinking AND with the kids in the truck. So I always made sure from then on I had plenty of beer - a couple of cases. I also would throw beer out in the trash saying I was not going to drink anymore and then go dig it out of the trash the next day and wash it off and drink it. I quit pouring it out because that was a waste of good beer. I wouldn't dig anything out of the trash today and do that with it.

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I was just thinking yesterday that now with our money situation a little tight how in the world did I ever afford drinking back then. We had even less money and the phone bill was always sky high to boot.
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Glad and grateful I don't do that anymore. nod
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 08:26 am
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Very Happy Hi Gang, I can always count on insightful posts. I quit for a year on my own in 1970 but smoked pot instead of drinking. During the next 27 yrs. The longest I quit was a few days until I started going to jail in the mid 90's. While in jail I would promise myslef things would be different this time when I was released. I was always loaded within a few hours after getting out. In the end I became like Zoomie with torlerance a small amount and I was lost. It scared me so much that I admitted myslef into the locked down mental ward of the VA. I was losing my mind and couldn't do anything to stop it. That was 8+ yrs ago and I'm sure it was a power greater than me. I couldn't do anything on my own anymore. Death was just around the corner. hug angel hug
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 09:49 am
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For twenty years I quit on Monday and talked myself into drinking every Friday which led to Saturday and Sunday and then back to quitting on Monday. How insane. Towards the end I quit for weeks, sometimes months. Finally after finding AA the insanity seems to be over. But I know I have to work the program, go to meetings and have a sponsor or else it would be back to how I was before AA and I don't want to go back there.
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 10:36 am
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About 10 years before we each found our own way into AA, my SO and i decided to try not drinking as an experiment to see if our lives got better. After about a week without drinking i decided that since my life still looked the same (not surprising since i had found nothing to fill the hole that remained) that i might as well go back to drinking. It wasn't until many years later when i had begun a spiritual search and started my recovery in Al-Anon that i was able to believe that i might find happiness without drinking, and so i started coming to meetings on the other side of the hall too, to see what the laughter and cameraderie i could hear was all about.
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 03:33 pm
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There were many occasions over my lifetime that I checked into what I lovingly refer to as "Mom's Half-way House" because I always knew I had a place to go if I were willing to be clean and sober. I went there first after living on the streets in St Petersburg FL and selling blood(plasma) to buy food and cigs at 18 yrs old. I spent a year there and really came to know Christ personally and grew spiritually, but never addressed the addiction issue and got fat to boot. That was the first. I would come back to Christ, live clean for a time, but without ever addressing addiction, it would win me back and I never managed to mix the two.(Christ and drugs). I know now Christ never stopped loving me or loved me any less, but I felt unworthy, so I couldn't receive His love during my using times. I was never content though, because I had tasted the Christ experience and could never be satisfied with any thing else. In the end, it was AA that helped me to recover from a hopeless state of mind and body, only then have I been able to really achieve a long term relationship with Jesus Christ. Good topic.
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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 04:17 pm
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There were a few times I had stopped, but not with the intentions of staying stopped. And I didn't have any particular reason to stop, just did. A few other times I went on the wagon and we all know how that goes. It wasn't until I got to AA that I managed to put some time together. Once for 8 months and another time for 21 months. But I wasn't willing to try it any way but my way. This time around, I have no clue why I made the decision other than I was really sick and tired. Wasn't sure I could make it too far either. But something happened that I can't explain. But I also don't have any complaints about it happening either. I love what I have today and I wouldn't trade it in for anything. For what I have today is priceless.
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God bless,

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PostPosted: 02 Nov 2005 07:34 pm
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Yeah - I tried that too - all of it! Just on weekends, just beer, you name it. I was pretty much down to weekends since I started grad school because I couldn't stand being so sick in the mornings and going to school. But even then, my behavior was sick - on weekends I would drink until I passed out.
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I don't know how we afforded it either!
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God, I don't want to go there again. Sad
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PostPosted: 04 Nov 2005 07:22 am
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I tried many things to control it.....but, having a Mom in AA and going to some meetings with her (as a guest, you understand!) I knew what an alcoholic was. I knew all about it. What I knew nothing about was how to live and cope with life without the booze. Can't say I ever tried to quit without the help of AA. But I also had this distinct advantage. Cool
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pray Kim <hr />
<b>Doraine</b> - Fri 06 Jan, 2006 2:22 pm<br />

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In 1985 I was in court to get divorced. Each day I would promise myself I wouldn't drink the night before a court appearance but I couldn't do it. Month's later when my divorce became final I went right to the bar. I couldn't stop drinking until I surrendered to God and that was 18 years ago. <img src="images/smiles/higherpowered.gif" alt="hp" border="0" /> <hr />
<b>fibiray</b> - Mon 09 Jan, 2006 11:00 am<br />
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I had many attempts to stop drinking before coming to aa. But I did it the hard way. being a bender drinker I could go up to 3 months without a drink ( although why would anyone want to was my attitude) so I tried taking up a sport, taking up a hobby, attending fat farms, thins farms beauty farms and even ugly farms and while it may have kept my drinking at bay short term it always resulted in me then busting with fury and then I would be drinking to make up for lost time. I tried drinking at certain times and I tried drinking certain drinks even when I was sick and too sick to drink, I drank. It really did take an act of providence to intervene. <hr />

<b>Cassie</b> - Mon 09 Jan, 2006 9:11 pm<br />
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I wanted to think about this a bit before I posted a reply. I remember 6 attempts - the first 3 were without AA. The last 3 involved AA but I was a bu**head and too stubborn to give in.
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The first time, I stayed sober 18 months. The last attempt lasted about a week. It was harder and harder each time I relapsed.
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Grateful recoverying alcoholic <img src="images/smiles/15.gif" alt="pray" border="0" /> <hr />
<b>bry</b> - Tue 10 Jan, 2006 10:15 am<br />
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I never wanted to stop, alcohol was my friend. Then came the point where people were telling me to stop but it was too late I no longer wanted to drink I needed to drink, or so it seemed. It took a lot of pouring AA into my head and listening to a lot of ES&amp;H from folks like you guys before the light started to go on. I will say without AA and my HP I'd still be out there or more likely dead today. <hr />
<b>santana</b> - Tue 10 Jan, 2006 11:06 am<br />

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I tried so many times before AA/NA to stop, I was in an out of detox a bunch of times I cant even count. I did from 3 day detox to 28 day and each time I went in thinking I really wanted to get clean. And every time before the day that I got out was over Id be right back using again. I was trying to do it my way I wanted to control everything. I had heard of AA but really knew nothing about it, accept for what I heard from the commitments that came into the detoxs I was in. And I wasnt listening to anything they were saying because they were a bunch of Holy rollers who had no idea what I was going through. Little bits and pieces got through each time I went into detox it was mandatory to go to meetings when commitments came in. I kept hearing surrendor, in the end when I hit bottom thats what I did. I went in detox again and they said are you willing to do what ever it takes, I said Im willing to try, because at that point I was emotionaly, physically, and spiritually bankrupt and I really didnt know if I was going to be able to do it. Something was diffrent this time and I toke all suggestions given to me, one was 6 months in a half way house, thats were I was introduced to the steps and the Grace of God entered my life. To this day I feel it was because I was open to it, not fighting it an trying to control everthing I surrenderd. Just before I did I was crying to God to please help me what was wrong with me that I could'nt stay clean. I got my answer Thank God for AA, Like others said I dont think I would be alive today if not for. I wrote a book LOL, I guess cause we went over step 11 last night in my step group and it brought alot back.
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Carol <img src="images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif" alt="Very Happy" border="0" /> <hr />