Be Who You Are

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<b>Carol87</b> - Sun 26 Feb, 2006 11:39 am<br>
<b>Post subject: </b>Be Who You Are<hr class="sep" width="95%">
I needed to be reminded of this today ...
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<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: darkblue;"><div align="center"><div class="codetitle">Quote:</div><div class="quotediv">Be Who You Are

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When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I cant have my feelings. Cant have my wants and needs. Cant have my history. Cant do the things I want, feel the feelings I'm feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionistic robot, instead of being who I am: Me.
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--Anonymous
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Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself.
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Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else.
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The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
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We may think others wont like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think.
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But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. Were fun to be around.
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If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us?
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Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and its enough. Its fine.

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Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.
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Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.
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©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
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The Language of Letting Go, March 5</div></div></span></span> <hr>
<b>janbear</b> - Wed 01 Mar, 2006 8:11 pm<br>
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<img src="images/smiles/goodpost.gif" alt="good post" border="0"> <img src="images/smiles/1.gif" alt="ok" border="0"> <hr>

<b>Misselle</b> - Wed 01 Mar, 2006 11:17 pm<br>
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[color=#]<span style="font-family: Tahoma;">This topic has always confused me. On one hand, I buy the be yourself thing. It is true that there is no point in pretending to be someone you are not, especially to impress others.
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On the other hand, there is also a modicum of self-control involved. For example, the "real me" often has a vicious wit - meaning that I can think and say things that are incredibly funny yet cruel. My friends think that is one of my best qualities. However, I do repress it most of the time because it is hurtful and wrong to say those things, and I am not a cruel person at heart. It doesn't mean that I don't still think it, but part of my desire to be a better person involves trying not to be so negative, both about others and myself. Yet part of my essential nature has been (and might always be) the black humor.
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I guess I try to accept what I can't change (as per the serenity prayer) and work on the things that need improvement. Being completely accepting of oneself also means zero growth.</span>[/color] <hr>
<b>Prescott</b> - Thu 02 Mar, 2006 10:27 am<br>
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Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and its enough. Its fine.
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Acceptance is the answer to all my problems,comes to mind. I accept myslef today better than I ever have but still have a long way to go.