Water's Edge (peom)

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Clean42day - Wed 12 Apr, 2006 2:53 pm
Post subject: Water's Edge (peom)

my therapist gave me this the other day.....it kind of describes not only a sponsor to sponsee relationship, but also a therapist to client relationship....but I think in many ways it also describes the relationship we all have with a loving creator and ourselves............


Sponsor to Sponsee (poem)

WATERS EDGE

I wait for you beside the still water;
I want to run and find you;
I want to guide you to the water’s edge
and seat you in the small canoe
that will carry you across the murky depth.

I want to place the paddle in your hands
and teach you how to stroke.
guiding the canoe gently through
so little water splashes and your way is smooth.

It’s hard to wait beside the shore and only
hope you’ll find your way;
wondering how long you’ll take or if you’ll
stray to far away;
knowing you have never tread down this path before;

the grasses hide and sometimes disappear
in the treacherous and sodden marshes;
that only those who know the secrets of this
path can safely follow to the water’s edge.

and yet I wait beside the water deep
believing you’ll be here;
knowing you must find your own way even
if your foot should slip;
never really doubting, however long it takes,
that one day you’ll arrive.

although weary you may be;
and even if your back is bent with burdens
much to heavy,
you’ll keep going until the water’s edge you reach.

I hope, when, at last, the water’s edge you see,
you’ll take my offered hand that reaches out to meet you.
I know you won’t be smiling for the journey will be long;
but I’m not expecting anything.
it’s not for me I’m waiting.

I only want to be there to help you with your load.
when, at last, you’re here at the still water.
and then if you allow me, I’ll hold steady
the small canoe until you’ve entered
and stretched your feet.
your burden I will place beside you,
and handing you the paddle, I will guide your stroke.

Until alone, as all canoers are, your paddle you begin to push.
and smoothly you alone, move across the water still and deep.

__________________________________________________ ___ __


my first sponsor gave me the basics in the BB and the steps to work with to help me stay clean, she had 17 years at the time she moved away. and at first I was very, very dependent on her, for guidance, questions, what my next phase of development would be. At the same time I was in therapy and going to childhood issues trying to sort out the truth of self-discovery as well as letting go of the dysfunctional messages I was taught.

When my sponsor moved, it took me 4 months to find another sponsor. The one I have today has 27 years, and she does not have a sponsor herself......she has made many friends in her 27 years of fellowshipping and she reaches out to members that have more time than her and have known her for many years. Ultimatley her sponsor is the God of her understanding.

She told me that at first when we are new, we trade a dependency on alcohol and drugs for a dependency on the fellowship. there is nothing wrong with this.....however, the whole goal of the steps and fellowship is to create a reliance and dependency on God. any dependency on other fellow human beings runs the risk of becomeing a dysfunctional dependency. in her years of experience, she says, that she no longer needs the meetings, per say. She has lived the AA way of life for soooo long it has become a part of her soul, her experience, her awareness, and her behavior. she still goes to meetings and is the treasurer of one....because she want to. she will not drink again if she doesn't go. she wants to go.....there is a big difference between need and want.

in my opinion.....the power of personal choice is what the AA and NA programs are designed to do. help us make healthy choices, stay in right action, and live our lives free from any unhealthy attachment. I have heard so many people say....that if you stop going to meetings you will get loaded. this may be true for the New comer who has not yet grasped the AA way of life. but for those members who have grown into thier own autonomy.....I have watched them also grow into an interdependence....inter-dependence flows freely back and forth and is the power of free choice. and neither the fellowship...nor the individual will fall if they come together in thier own wholeness, standing on firm ground of personal well being.

her whole theorey....is that we are born perfectly whole and complete. our living experience has taught us the opposite.... what her job is....is to help me to get back to remembering that I am perfectly capable and able to find my center again.....

she is there to guide me into a relationship with God. and using that as my foundation.....I will one day....free myelf of any dependence on the group, or on membership, or on the meetings per say.

I hope to one day be a strong bow for others...and give freely back what was given to me......because I want to ....... not because I will get loaded if I don't.

just as some of us...out grow our sponsors. some members outgrow the fellowship....this does not mean they don't practice carrying the message in thier own daily lives in thier own way, they carry the message outside of the rooms too. if anyone in my life, needs to move forward freely into thier future, and expand their awareness and develope thier life in other ways outside of the rooms of AA or NA. who am I to say....they are headed down the wrong path. AA and NA should be a spring board....that helps us live a spiritual way of life.....not pull us back into the carefully constructed box of fear. some people develope thier wings in this fellowship. and like any bird that comes to us broken....we help them heal themselves and when it is time to let them fly....I let them fly freely....I dont tell them that they can't ever leave the nest or they will die. supporting someone's journey sometimes means letting them grow beyond you. and just being a small part of that.....is a reward in itself.

just some thoughts.........

Gail



Cassie - Sun 23 Apr, 2006 9:29 am
Post subject:
Quote:
She told me that at first when we are new, we trade a dependency on alcohol and drugs for a dependency on the fellowship. there is nothing wrong with this.....however, the whole goal of the steps and fellowship is to create a reliance and dependency on God. any dependency on other fellow human beings runs the risk of becomeing a dysfunctional dependency.


Very true. I believe that the ONLY part of my existence that can be relied upon, always, is my Higher Power. For me that is God.