Weekly Meeting 1/23-30 ... Surrender ...

[Carol87]

THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER

We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21

When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.

©Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.©

Source: Daily Reflections, January 6

Did I ever truly surrender my alcoholism? Not consciously … I resisted without ceasing (LOL) the program because I didn’t think I fit, that I belonged, that I didn’t have a low enough bottom, hadn’t done the YETS and on and on and … . Even though after many many 24 hours I know that none of that is true, I still struggle with ‘do I belong?’ … but no matter how much I struggle, there is something inside me that keeps talking God, recovery, principles of the 12 steps, working the steps … it is so ingrained in my soul.

That ‘something’ paid off … I recently experienced the true serenity that does come from surrender … although a bit by the back door … I was recently in the hospital for the second time in a year once again without immediate family members with me … twofold … they live anywhere from 2 to 4 hours from me, coupled with the fact that there is some underlying animosity that I have been struggling to accept. As I watched the support of family members of my roommate, I experienced sadness and resentments immediately followed by the greatest sense of peace I ever remember … without thinking (God intervention?) I surrendered that this is the way it is ~~ at least for now. What a gift to accept that fact and to finally recognize that serenity … without my God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I would never have attained that ultimate gift. I walked out of the hospital with so much peace …. and … so much gratitude that the mega medical tests didn’t show anything serious. Is it there every day? Of course not but when I feel it seeping away I do whatever I can to get back to the place.

“I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.”

Thank you for letting me share.

[david monteith]

hello guys
my name is david i'm an alcoholic
thank you carol for the weekly topic
whatever the topic,it is always pertinent to my current state of recovery.
we always hear people telling us to let go ,detach ,surrender etc etc. and i know that this is the only way to any form of serenity. but doing those things does not come naturally.
as an alcoholic my natural way is the exact opposite and has been my entire life,in all honesty i have found it very difficult to change.perhaps a part of me doesn't even want to,but then again i know i must.
the programme of aa has brought me this far,without it i know iwould be in serious trouble.i have had so mmany beautiful days,so many blessings ,it has been the greatest part of my life these 11 years vof recovery.i just wish and pray for the day wnen i can honestly say that i have surrendered.i believe that it will happen.
we know that the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety,and emotional turmoil before serenity (as bill sees it p3 )
thanks everyone for letting me share
david m

[admin]

It was only until I surrendered totally that I was able to get sober and stay sober. That took a while of doing because I would always hold on to my will some. It was only until I was laying flat on my back in the hospital because of alcohol poisoning afraid I was dying that I surrendered totally. I haven't had a drink since. I came out of the hospital a different woman from the one they rolled in. Now I guess you could say I surrender everyday by starting each day turning my will over to the care of God. I can't, He can, I will let Him. These days I find that even in the storms I can have serenity if and when I remember to seek Him. Thanks for the topic ((((Carol)))).

[janbear]

Looking back, i feel surrendering has come a little at a time since 1987. But i do feel in '96 when i last relapsed i huge surrender. I found no other way, other than to do just that. I fought it to long and stayed miserable for too long. In '96 was a huge bottom for me with my addiction and i became willing to "go to any lengths" with the help of the fellowship and my sponsor who guided me through the steps. When i become in to much pain that is when i change and surrender. I have to be beat down, it seems. Lately its been about losing my sponsor to brain cancer. Letting go seems to be a slow process.

[Carol87]

This helps me keep surrender in the proper perspective ...

Surrendering everything means being willing to say,

“Lord, whatever You want me to do, I’ll do it. I say yes to anything You ask of me, even if it means dying to myself and my desires. I will give up the things of the flesh that I want in order to have more of You in my life. I will go to church when I feel like staying home. I will fast when I feel like eating. I will pray when I would rather go to bed. I will read Your Word when I would rather watch TV. I will give when I would rather spend my money on myself. I will enter into praise and worship as my first reaction instead of my last resort. I will do whatever You say so that I can please You and move into all You have for me.”

This attitude of surrender means putting God first and submitting to His rulership. And it makes all the difference in our lives.


Page 80, The Power of a Praying Woman

[Dan B]

HI! My name is Dan and I am an addit. Surrender is a good topic for me. I believe that surrendering my drug use to the care of god and seek help at my bottom was easy for me the only other choice was jails,institutions or death. I didn't want to go there. I did have hope at the time because I have been around N.A. before and knew that other people with the same problem as me were staying clean and that is what I wanted. All I had to is surrender and ask for help! I believe that is God's Will for me that is what God showed me and I do find serenity in that. I do find it more diffitcult to find that level of surrender in all areas of my life today my will and powerlessness gets in the way that is the reason why I keep coming back, go to meetings, sharing and talking with others,work the 12steps again and again, pray and listen, do service work and work the spiritual principles learned in all areas of my life. I believe that is God's will for me that is what God through others has given me. I do find hope in that and in finding hope I do find serenity. Just think an addit like me finding a new way to live! surrendering gave way to hope,hope gave way to faith and through faith that I find serenity.

[eve3]

hey all thanks for sharing good topic carol,if i didnt completly surrender would me for me i still had some resvations bout using 1 day i relize its totall complete surrender,and showing up,step work etc,if i was to have 1 nip,i pill bag or what ever,its all over,my life becomes unmanagable cus im diffenitly powerless,this desease beat me down for 30 yrs enough is enough,thought id add this read jft.............
January 29
The First Step - An Action Step

" Do we understand that we have no real control over drugs?"
Basic Text p. 18

At first, many of us may have thought the First Step required no action-we just surrender and go on to Step Two. But Step One does require action!

The action we take in the First Step will be evident in the way we live, even from our first day clean. If we truly believe that we are powerless over our addiction, we will not choose to be around drugs. To continue to live with or associate with practicing addicts may indicate a reservation in our program. An absolute belief that the First Step applies to us will insure that we clear our homes of all drugs and paraphernalia.

As time goes on, we'll not only continue with the basics but add new actions to our First Step repertoire. We'll learn to feel our feelings rather than trying to control them. We'll stop trying to be our own and only guides on our recovery journey; self-sponsorship will cease. We'll begin looking to a Power greater than ourselves more and more for spiritual satisfaction rather than trying to fill that void with something else.

Surrender is only the beginning. Once we surrender, we need to learn how to live in the peace we have found.

Just for today: I will take all the action necessary to practice the First Step. I truly believe it applies to me.
__________________

[kaistevens]

I find surrender in all the steps. Each one asks me to surrender in some way, and its when I don't, that I give my disease a foot in the door.

Like acceptance, like honesty, like willingness,
surrender is at the very heart of the program when it works in my life. Surrender IS the way my life turns around.

Whatever I keep, I lose.
That's not a new thing, it's been working that way all my life.
But what I surrender, my Higher Power turns to gold,
and when I look at some of this stuff, that is just impossible,
but today, mine is an impossible God.

The point that I get is:
I can't -- He can.
I hear it over and over again in this program, the matra is I CAN'T - HE CAN.
Just to see that is the begining of surrender. To accept it is surrender. To find the willingness to open my mind and hear the things that go against everything I think I already know is surrender.

I surrender ALL. That's all my Higher Power asks. Which reminds me of a story from the bible.

There was a big crowd listening to Jesus speak. The people realized they were hungry and there was no food. There was a boy with five loaves of bread and two fish.

Jesus didn't ask the boy to feed all those people. Didn't ask him to go catch enough fish to feed everyone, or to go get more bread. All Jesus asked the boy to do was give everything he had. All of it and keep nothing for himself and it wasn't the boys responsibility to feed ANYBODY.
We are only asked to surrender.

[sioux]

I agree that surrender is an action I had to take to begin to understand how my alcoholism had ruled my life, and how I could not drink like those who do so without incident. I spent many years trying to control my drinking, adjust it, medicate, going only places where it was served or I could get a drink if necessary. My whole being revolved around booze.

When I surrendered, I stopped.

[Montauktammy]

When I came in They told me keep it simple surrender was to move to the winning side. Well now that I could do that was just a shift over. Well I have been shifting over more and more these days. Thank God I got smart feet! Sometimes that shift over is a long sprint too.