Coping With Fear

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Janbear
Site Admin


Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 5529


PostPosted: 10 Jun 2005 05:45 am
After getting clean and sober, we may suddenly become very fearful. Situations that never bothered us in our using days loom up at us. Some of us feel terror when riding with a careless driver. Some of us feel panicky at the thought of a burglar. Some of us fear losing our jobs for no good reason.
As we regain our sanity, we may feel our lives become extraordinarily valuable. This is good, but it will help if we can practice trusting in our Higher Power and the fellowship.
In time, our fears will dimish.
Am I learning to handle fear?

-Day by Day
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lightlover



Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 385


PostPosted: 10 Jun 2005 09:23 am
Janbear-
It's interesting that you posted this today, you must be tapping into some psychic wavelength.
I am so thankful to finally have made the decision to become sober, to do the next right thing, to be grateful and humble....
However I do have an underlying feeling of panic at all times...so much so this week that I feel like my brain is shutting down. I have been using the deep breathing techniques suggested.
My main fear right now is money...or lack thereof. Yet instead of being able to figure out ways to make more money, I am getting stuck in the problem,,,freaking out about how I am going to survive.
I am praying all the time for the strength and the fortitude to get accomplished the tasks I have in front of me....and for calmness of mind and of spirit.
I guess that's all I can do.
It's so hard to let go and let God, but I am trying.
Thanks,
LL
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scots bill



Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 399
Location: cleveland,england

PostPosted: 10 Jun 2005 05:21 pm
jan hi
fear is somthing i have to deal with on a daily basis,length of time in recovery is not a gaurantee you will be without it, i have been in recovery for a good few years now, i still get the fight or flight feeling
i have been left with a social fobia. in crowded places people seem to close in. small price to pay for my recovery, as the years pass it gets easier. love in recovery bill hug angel hug smile ok good night
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fibiray



Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 515
Location: Australia Central Coast NSW

PostPosted: 10 Jun 2005 07:01 pm
When I came intor AA and began to work the program I had learnt that I had spent most of my life living in fear. This is where the spiritual side of this program and the higher power came into it for me. I can really relate to lightlover as in the first few years of my recovery i too had suffered from panic attacks and extreme anxiety. You will be relieved to know that this will eventually pass as it did with me. Breathing techniques are great and I believe that I need to also slow my thinking down which goes at a hundred miles an hour. A lot of my fear had stemmed back from my childhood and relates to abandonment. I feel insecure at times and have a low self worth and self esteem. I have had to work at this. Fear of having no money is another thing that I have also been through but again I have learnt the difference between my wants and my needs. I may not get my wants but I always get my needs. I can remember one year when my son was a toddler, we had just gone bankrupt and lost our home. The phone and electricity was due in and we had not a single cent. Totally stressed out we had decided to take the young fella for a walk around the lake area. As we went to step off a gutter to cross a road, there lying on the street was a crumpled up piece of green paper. It had only just caught my eye. Curious I picked it up and as I unfolded it I was stunned to discover that it was a single one hundred dollar note. Looking around there was noone in sight. God works in some mysterious ways. Blind faith I think is a must as I need to put my trust in my higher power more and become more focused on doing thy will and not my will.

chow chow smile
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clean42day
Moderator


Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 416


PostPosted: 16 Jun 2005 01:50 pm
This is soooo true.....in my addiction I was a "working Girl" for over 14 years. walking the dark streets at night alone, jumping in and out of cars, not knowing where I would end up, or even if i would make it back to my homeless tent alive. I hung out with burglers, hustlers, bank robbers, pimps, and street people in general.....every day I woke up i put my life, my safety, my health, my sanity, and everything i valued and loved....on the line of chance.

In my first year....about 7 months clean....I started dog training again. I have no car and had to walk to my clients house....traveling through an unpopulated part of the desert. suddenly I felt fear that someone could be walking behind me, stalking me, or possibly even rape me. I became increasingly aware that I no longer had the "cocaine courage" that I used to.

Sitting at bus stops was a grueling affair. Tricks would pull up and I would feel embarrassed and ashamed, and even angry that they would approach me. I began to wonder if I could ever walk down the street and feel like a normal person again...and see just traffic going by instead of money and tricks going by.

After all the years of "working" in my addiction....i found that in my recovery, when men in the meetings approached me.....I actually felt "shy" and introverted, fearful and at risk somehow.

but in spite of all my fears and feelings of insecurtiy....i kept doing the right thing....and eventaully I "behaved" and acted myself into a new way of thinking, believing and behaving.

Now when a cop cruises by I can nod my head and smile. I can look people in the eye and be authentic. I can sit at a bus stop with no thought of my old life.

When I look back on the way I used to live and exist.....I can honestly say that, that girl was soooo far from the real me.....with all the masks and layers of protective armor I use to wear.....no one back in my old life ever really got to know the real me, not even myself.

and by going through the process of recovery....sometimes the real me scared me also...but i have learned to love myself just the way I am....and accept....that as always....more will be revealed.

I look at fear this way.....If God could get me through my addiction alive (even when I did not believe he was there) and I was doing everything possible to destroy my life.....He can certainly get me through any fear I might have in my recovery....now that I am really seeking him. Every morning I ask him to guide me through my day and show me how to live.....He has not let me down yet.....he always shows up in my life, everyday, I know that I am never alone.

Gail
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scots bill



Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 399
Location: cleveland,england

PostPosted: 16 Jun 2005 02:25 pm
clean42day hi
gail your story is inspiring, we have all had to plumb our
own depths, i my self had to come through years of mental hospitles
and other degrading things, like you god has pulled me through,
looking back my own recovery is short of a miracle, the terrors i
had to face, most of my fears were in my own head,love in recovery
your friend .bill