Do you still get thoughts of drinking or have cravings?

[admin]

bluidkiti
Site Admin


Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 10500


PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 03:24 am
After having some sober time, do you still on occasion have thoughts of drinking or get cravings?

If so, what do you do?
_________________

cassie
Moderator


Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 1029


PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 07:22 am
Hi - I am an alcoholic and the answer to that is Yes, Yes and Yes. This September, I will celebrate 6 years. There have certainly been times that I have had a strong craving. Chronic arthritis is kicking my butt right now. The desire to escape from the pain is, at times, almost overwhelming.

A sponsor once told me to visualize the entire experience, continuing to the "morning after." stars That is what I did. I thought about the aftermath. I went through the entire sequence and thought about the guilt and horror I would feel and all for a few minutes of what I call the warm pit. I visualized the looks on the faces of those I love - it would be a sad and betrayed look. I pictured looking in the mirror the next morning. yuck It wasn't a pretty sight. I thought about explaining the reason to my Higher Power. I realized I needed to first understand it myself.

When I get cravings, I usually journal about the reason(s). I think about the HALTs. If one of them is the reason, I try to take care of it as soon as possible. Fatigue is usually the culprit.

But sometimes, the disease just simply reminds me how good a cold beer would taste on a hot day. It is truly cunning because it plays on my emotions and my fantasy of drinking like a normal person who is not afflicted. I know I can't but that doesn't stop me from wishing I could. I fight that grief, sadness and self-pity by reconnecting with the my HP and the program as quickly as possible. I picture a big NO TRESPASSING sign with my name on it on the road to drinking again. How about that for a visual! Wink

I am so happy and grateful that the tools are available for me to combat this disease. 12 solutions to one problem. My life has been restored and I have another chance to live free from addiction. Thanks for letting me share. angel hug angel
_________________

clean42day
Moderator


Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 417


PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 01:39 pm
Yes I still get "thoughts" but they no longer turn into the "obsession" meaning they quickly pass through my mind and do not linger into a never ending loop of continuous thought. However at times I am triggered. I would not call this a craving but a physical reaction. For instance: I smoke my ciggarettes out of the balcony of my apartment. evidently my roomate used my lighter one day and when I struck it.....the flame was about 3 inches tall. It must have immediatley reminded that memory center in my brain of when I use to smoke my Crack pipe. Upon seeing this....My mouth watered. there was no conscious thought process involved. it was an automatic reaction. it was like Pavlov's dogs when he rang the bell....they knew food was coming and they salivated. Same thing. another time i was at a mexican restuarant and the waitress went by with a tray of frozen margaritas....seeing the salt, frosty glasses made my mouth water. again physical reactions triggering that memory center in my brain....but no thought process involved.

The cool thing is......i was able to shake my head and had to laugh at myself. Laughing

the obsession and compulsion to drink or use was lifted at around 7 months clean and sober. since that time...i can honestly say that i have not had the desire, cravings, or obsessive thoughts to use.

in my last treatment center...we spent about 3 months on just relapse prevention planning.

the obsession is described as a continuous thought and loops back in on intelf and it intrudes on all other thoughts; it takes on a life of it's own and trying to resist it is almost impossible. what we resist persists. so a better way to get rid of it....is to move that energy on to something else. this requires "action". I cannot "think" myself out of a drink....I must take action until the obsession lifts. for instance....i cannot hold two thoughts in my head at the same time....I read recovery literature. use up energy by clening the house. journal my thoughts and feelings playing the tape all the way through to the inevitible consequences or the "yets"!
write down all the things i have lost in my life due to this disease as a reminder of why I don't want to drink or use. writing a gratitude list of all the things i have regained in my life due to recovery.
Imagining myself in handcuffs one more time. ect.
I have a mug shot picture of my last arrest.....that usually does the trick.

the compulsion is described as a physical discomfort, anxeity, butterflies in the stomack, anticipation, and when the obsession triggers the compulsion that is what takes our feet out the door to the liquor store or to the dope man.
The obsession is the thought; the compulsion is the behavior

there are a hole bunch of things and actions we can take BEFORE the compulsion or "craving hits" and takes over

call your sponsor or another recovering addict
go to a meeting
work steps 1,2,3
clean the house, wash the car, the dog, doing mindless physical activity. clean out that closet you have not got around to.
pray for the thoughts to be removed
prepare an especailly wonderful meal for the family
work with a newcomer. assisting and supporting another person is a good way to take you out of that mode.
we cannot teach recovery and want to use at the same time....it is too much of a conflict.
go on a recovery chat line
come here and post
go to that movie you've been wanting to see
go do something you've never done before....rollerskating, fly a kite, ride the bike, sports events, what about volunteering at a youth group?
above all do not try to push, resist, deny or avoid the thoughts.....act them into recovery behavior.
positive contraty actions creats new habits, thoughts and the feelings will follow.

keeping your own personally tailored relapse prevention list handy and available of all the things you could possibly do.....instead of sit with the "thoughts" is a good idea. don't bury it somewhere...plaster it on the fridge.

bottom line for me.....is back when i did have the obsession or cravings it was because i was restless, irritable, and discontent in some area of my life. and the natural response for me back then was to run, hide, seek relief, avoid or deny what was really going on.

now I face things as they arise....meeting them head on as soon as possible so it does not turn into an underlying condition that lingers in the shadows waiting to blind side me. this disease will use any amunition it can, so i make sure not to feed it things it can use against me later on. working a 10th step is important maintenance.

one thing i have found helpful is to write letters to myself as the new me talking to the old me or the disease. It usually takes the power out of whatever is bothering me and i get a clearer perspective.....in other words i love myself back into the solution...and then take actions to follow through. this not only applies to when things bad....i write them when things are going good too....giving credit where credit is due.

i put in the effort and god takes care of the outcome everytime.

hope this helps.

Gail
_________________

clean42day
Moderator


Joined: 17 Mar 2005
Posts: 417


PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 01:54 pm
Oh i forgot to mention this and it is effective......using a trigger word that immediatly reminds you of your last most horrific incomprehensible demorizing moment, your last bottom ......and say that phrase, word, or sound out loud to yourself everytime you have a thought of using.....for instance......mine is
click, click because that is the sound of handcuffs. my girlfriend uses " this is "DCFS" because that was the department that took her children away. anther fried uses Beep Beep because that is the sound of the heart monitor that he woke up to in the hospital after a blackout and a bad accident. it could be "your fired" or "pack you sh!+ and move out" anything that applies...as long as it envokes the memory, visualization or feelings that go along with that moment of complete dispair.

after saying click click to myself dilligently for so many months....the pure disgust and despair of it all...made the thoughts go poof! it was as if I played the tape through in an instant.

ok I am done now....thanks for listening

Gail
_________________

fibiray



Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 515
Location: Australia Central Coast NSW

PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 04:45 pm
I have been sober for 16 1/2 years and I too get those fleeting thought of drinking. It use to bother me until I spoke with an older sober member who had assured me that this was relatively normal (who me, who would have thought.) He explained that I wouldn't be an alcoholic if I didn't have these thoughts so long as I don't entertain them or act upon them.

Well thats my 2 cents worth

chow chow Wink
_________________

trickyd



Joined: 05 Jul 2005
Posts: 7


PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 05:09 pm Post subject: Reply with quote Edit/Delete this post Delete this post View IP address of poster
I do get them, but they are far rarer, than I would have anticipated, when I came back into recovery 14 months ago. I thank God every day for that. Not everyone is so quicly releaved of these compulsive thoughts.

Like others have mentioned. When I do get a fleeting desire for that brief sense of wellbeing that I once got from alcohol, I try to think it through all the way from the first drink to the last drink. I've certainly run the cycle enough times, to where, this isn't the least bit difficult. There's the first drink where I become bright and social. The second and third where I'm the best dancer and pool hustler in the joint. Then there's the 4th and 5th where I become an annoying know it all. And then there are the 6th to infinity drinks where I become just another disgusting drunk that the police will have to deal with later. The pattern is always the same. It never changes. It's identical irrigardless of the city I am in or the company I keep....and it sucks. Anyway, today, I don't have to drink and I am totally grateful to AA for that freedom.
___________________________

scots bill



Joined: 08 Apr 2005
Posts: 399
Location: cleveland,england

PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 06:21 pm
hi tammy
i'm close to my nineteenth sober birthday, and yes i now and
again have drinking dreams, what amazes me when dreaming i am still
frequenting the dives ,after all this time i thought i would have gone up market, but know my dreams are still in skid row, in my early days i
used to wake up in cold sweats not knowing if i had taken a drink or not
but now it's only a dream, golfers dream of golf . fisher men dream of
fishing .alcoholics dream of drinking, it is not reality so it's no big deal today, love in recovery bill ok hug angel hug coffee good night
_________________

bluidkiti
Site Admin


Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 10500


PostPosted: 05 Jul 2005 08:39 pm
Great shares here and I relate to all of them. It really help me when a few years ago my grandsponsor shared about having the thought of drinking in a meeting. You see at the time I felt if I had a thought to drink then I was a failure but her sharing helped me so much to know that I was not alone and that it was ok to have the thought, I am not a bad person because I have a thought, it was just what I did/do with the thought that mattered/matters. Thanks everyone for sharing here.

[shydawg]

Tons of great info here .. I like Gail's suggestions of the using a "trigger word" to snap ya out of it .. gonna have to use that myself ..My sponsr had told me there was a difference between a using thought & a using desire or craving . I would have to say that I no longer get those cravings or desires . but yeah I do get those thoughts from time to time .. & just recently benn have some **** freaky using dreams again .. hate those .. I go through the same process that gail described above to get threw them .. read literature . call somone .change the **** radio station . come here to CFR anything to refocus my thoughts ... this is a great topic to always go back & read from time to time . thanks

[bird sent]

I was very grateful this was posted. There are many useful suggestions and I'm printing this and putting it on my closet wall.

[shydawg]

you know there was a time at about 5-6 months in to my recovery I was having those thoughts at times & it would scare me sometimes . was sorta scared to admit it to myself & others (my sponsor & others ) that I was having these thoughts . Ithought it somehow was a weakness in my recovery . but after talking to my sponsor & him telling me the difference between a using thought & a using desire or a using obsession as Gail above had described . & how i did not have to act on a thought ..i really helped me to hear other more expereinced recovering addicts tell me that they to at time get those using thoughts , even after yrs of being in recovery . but WE JUST DO USE NO MATTER WHAT .BECAUSE those thoughts will pass..but this told me that I was ok . I was not lacking in my recovery as i thinking I was just like everyone else . & when I heard that it was another shot of hope .. soo any one reading this .. its normal ..just dont entertain the thought