Step 10

[Dave T.]

I'm an addict and my name is Dave

One of the greatest tools I have in my daily program is the 10th step. Working steps 4 through 9 gave me a process which helps me get through my day without a lot of unecessary drama and anger. I have situations throughout the day (some days more than others) where my self centeredness rears it's ugly head wanting me wanting me to react with anger or self-pity towards some percieved threat or slight.

One of my favorite examples of this is when I had about 3 years clean I was waiting for a meeting to start and a girl came in that always came up to me with a big smile and a hug but this time she passed me by like I wasn't there. I thought "gee what did I do to her". I looked over at her and she had a angry look on her face. I started thinking "I didn't do anything to her, why is she treating me like this? What's her problem? The more I sat there and thought the angrier I got, until I was calling her names in my head.

The meeting started and I continued to stew in my self centered fantasy until she shared, she said she had just gotten fired from her job because of something someone else did and she was furious. I felt like an idiot and then started laughing to myself and thanked my HP that I didn't get a chance to make an ass out of myself.

When I find myself getting angry I can usually take my inventory on the spot and most of the time recognize it for what it is and not have to react. If I do then I can go back over the situation later and admit where I was wrong, either later that day or the next, so I don't have to carry that baggage.

The times where my anger is justified I can usually express it without going over the top because I'm not angry about a lot of other stuff too.

The 10 step also comes in handy on those days that I feel out of sorts but don't know why, usually by taking my inventory I can see what's going on.

This step is a major serenity keeper for me, the freedom of spirit that it gives me when I practice it regurlarly makes life so much better.

Looking forward to reading your experiences with step 10 and thanks for letting me share.

[Montauktammy]

Tahnks Dave now I know why I am in a bad mood Time to do a 10th step
http://www.na.org/pdf/litfiles/us_english/IP/EN3109.pdf be back later

[janbear]

thanks Dave. I really like the reference you made to it being a "major serenity keeper". It is for me too. I do daily 10th steps, it keeps me more in check, so to speak. I use to think i just should do one when i am in a defect, but now i do them regularly. It helps me see where i still need changing, and, there is still so much. I havent acted out in anger in a long time. Oh, i have felt it and i am better about recognizing it and where its coming from. Step 10 helps me get back in reality along with God and i can see more clearly, sometimes another supportive person steps in and helps me see things more clearly. And i can never forget to do the last part of that step where I clean up my part in situations with others today.

[elderlemon]

Hi Dave thanks for that. I can only do a real 10th in a meeting. Spot check is good for me when my pride wants me a certain way and love when i wise up and let all the expectations i demand of myself drop away. i love being not 100% right and 100% happy with me as i am. Funny thing is when i drop into the chair and run through the steps or should i say let them wash over me i sometimes truly see the unseen and hear the unheard. When someone is hopping mad with resentment i actually see their delicate heart being slowly torn in two with hurt and their denial of their better selves. Most days i keep it that simple throughout the day. if i cant do a 10 step at a meeting and share this behavior i simply don't do it. like the power in the rooms that makes the application easier. Still sick he he

[sioux]

Let us not forget that the 10th Step reminds us to look at the things we have done well today; situations that used to baffel me are less challenging, some sanity has returned, and I think today will be good enough.

[dalin]

Alot of times I do my checkupfromthe neckup inventory.
Often reminds me to seek humility when I am doing my
water walkin(every time my a$s gets wet)...
Often it keeps me real.
My sponsees often remind me ,and get me to see a realistick veiw
of how things are.
Good topic!