Acting and Reacting

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"Acting and Reacting"

We live in a world of conflict. We perceive it as coming from other people, but much of our conflict originates in our own minds. It may seem that others are against us, hut it's usually coming from within ourselves.

We have already determined that our thoughts come first and then our actions follow, but if we can get a pattern of actions going, they can sometimes influence our thoughts.

One of the very first things Al-Anon teaches is not to react to everything. That's about choosing not to he threatened.

You don't have to react to everything that comes your way and looks like it might he a threat. Al-Anons learn to practice this way of acting---especially important for people living with somebody who is still drinking or using drugs.

If you practice not reacting, your life becomes more orderly. You don't even have to understand it at first. You just have to practice. This works with raising children; it works with the people you work with. You know, everything that gets to be a big deal gets that way because somebody involved overreacts. Lots of times, people want you to jump in emotionally and get embroiled with them.

We are often fearful in a situation that if we don't do something to "fix it" right now, it won't be fixed. But sometimes nothing is the best thing that we can do. Sometimes we need to do something right now; sometimes we need to think it over.

We are looking for a balance, and it will come from practice using these tools. Once we start getting well, the Promises tell us that "we will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us" (p. 84).

---from Carry This Message, A Guide for Big Book Sponsorship by Joe McQ, page 86