Step 10 Is For Us

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"Step 10 Is For Us"

In the 12-Step programs, our goal is sane and balanced living, and the program is a strategy designed to help us achieve this aim. The Steps are markers along the path, even though we each move independently and make our own choices. To stay on the path, we have to pay attention to how we progress. We still need to be teachable. We need to give ourselves permission to claim our progress and validate our feelings. At the same time, we need to remain as objective as we can about how our behaviors match up with our recovery goals.

Developing the habit of constructive self-reflection does, admittedly, take practice. But once we accept the idea that this act of self-discipline is not intended as torturing self-attack, then we can begin to view Step 10 as an act of self-protection and personal care. Choosing to keep up a discipline we have taken on voluntarily builds self-respect and deepens self-trust. We come to experience ourselves as persons capable of commitment, which is a big factor for building confidence and personal security. Instead of a dreaded and dreary bout of self-attack, the reparenting we give ourselves in Step 10 gives us clarity about our own motives and keeps us focused on our goals. Getting realistic about ourselves usually makes us less sensitive to the critical feedback we receive from others, too.

---from Pocket Guide to the 12 Steps by Kathleen S., page 99-100