Parents Aren't Perfect?

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Parents Aren't Perfect?

By Wayne Rice


Okay, I know this doesn't come as any big surprise, but it's worth mentioning anyway. It's also worth remembering next time your parents don't do the right thing or say the right thing or can't even figure out what the right thing is. Sometimes they blow it. They make mistakes. After all, they don't really know what they're doing. Professional parents just don't exist. Parents are on-the-job learners, and they frequently make mistakes. They probably won't admit this to you, but it's true.

When you were born, you didn't come with an instruction manual. Sure, parenting books can help (your folks probably have a few of them), but not one of them contains information on how to parent you. That's because before you were born, no one like you ever existed on the face of the earth. God created you with your own blend of personality traits, gifts, talents, abilities, and special needs that nobody else ever had. And as every retired parent knows, what works with one child doesn't always work with another. So whether you were your parents' first child or their fifteenth, they still had to figure out how to parent you.

And you know what? They're still at it. That's because as you get older, you continue to change. Every day your parents have to figure out how to be good parents for you based on who you are and who you're becoming. Some teenagers require more discipline and control, and others require less. Some need more love and attention while others need less. There's no science to this--it has to be done by trial and error. That's why parents sometimes make mistakes.

I know I made my share of mistakes as a parent. I said no to my kids when I should have said yes. I said yes when I should have said no. I didn't listen to them when I should have, and I didn't talk to them when I should have. Sometimes I was too strict. Other times I was too lenient. The problem with being a parent is you really don't know what you're doing until after you've done it. Even then, it takes a few years to realize what you did wrong or did right.

Don't hold your parents to a standard of perfection you can't even keep yourself. They do the best they can. You should realize that you have a lot to do with how successful your parents are. You can help them not make so many mistakes. If you can make life easier for them, there's a pretty good chance life will be easier for you. As I said earlier, parents generally learn how to parent from their kids. Parents with problem kids seem to be problem parents. Parents with good kids seem to be good parents. See, you have a lot more power to impact your family than you may realize.

Parents aren't perfect, of course. They won't always do the right thing. Your parents may disappoint you from time to time, and you'll wonder why they can't be more consistent, more reasonable, more trustworthy, or more like the parents of somebody else you know. But parent envy only makes things worse. Your parents are human, and they're probably the only parents you'll ever get. In their own inept way, they're doing the best they can. They need your understanding, forgiveness, cooperation, and love--in spite of all their mistakes.

Taken from "Read This Book or You're Grounded" by Wayne Rice

[admin]

When others have come to talk to me about their parents, I always remind them that parents are people also. They are more than just your mom or dad they are also people with their own lives. To understand your mom or dad talk with them sometime and find out about their lives up until that moment. Come to know them as a person also. It helps me to understand my mom to know the person she is and what her life has been like to make her who she is.

[ErikaD981]

Thanks for sharing this. I definately needed to read this.