My time has come!

[kaistevens]

I started my journey in sobriety (from alcohol) on March 21, 2004. That's been an interesting trip. My life has gotten better day after day, I never could have imagined life could be this good. Then...

I stopped all cafeine on Sept. 19, 2007 (which I DO NOT recommend). I picked it back up to my first two or three cups with caffeine about a week later. It is best to ease the body off the caffiene, I could not p**p for a WEEK. But, it has been a little over six month and I am still mostly caffiene free. But not long after cutting down the caffiene, I started having some strange body changes .... night sweats and hot flashes (wow now that is a new form of insanity!) .... and then I developed a painfull mass in my right breast. Went to the emergency room, an infection, they gave me a high power antibiotic and sent me on my way.
The pain stopped, and the mass seemed to shrink, a little; it never actually went away, I told myself it would just take time.

So, March 26, 2008, I'm back in the emergency room, same breast, larger mass, unbearable pain; emergency surgery. My surgeon told me in his office, that women who don't smoke, don't get these infections. That was pretty cut and dry. So now it is time to stop smoking, and the pressure is on from the family.

I do want to quit, I really do. It costs SO MUCH. I'm tired of the taste of my mouth and the coughing. I'm tired of being distracted by the "need" of a cigarette between breaks at work, or anywhere I go, where I have to stop an go outside to smoke. But I'm scared. That I can't, that I'll go insane, I don't even know what I'm scared of. I can see plusses and plusses and plusses to quitting and no real good reason to hold on to this sh*t, but I sense myself being reluctant or hesitant. What the h*ll is that all about?

I think I'm angry too. Like I guess I feel I've done enough, that's just insane. I don't know, this one's got me very confused!! This one stopped being fun a long time ago, and it's obviously started working against me.
AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I am surely loosing my mind!!

[admin]

Several years ago, when I asked my sponsor what she did to quit smoking she said she prayed everyday for God to remove the obsession and compulsion from her to smoke and he did eventually. I prayed the same for a few years. Last year on March 16th, I quit smoking with the help of God - one day at a time. I now have over a year smoke free. I will pray for you also. Please feel free to continue to share with us. You are not alone. Just reach out and you will find others who once smoked but are now smoke free willing to give you support and prayers.

[Kathie G.]

Originally Posted by kaistevens

I started my journey in sobriety (from alcohol) on March 21, 2004. That's been an interesting trip. My life has gotten better day after day, I never could have imagined life could be this good. Then...

I stopped all cafeine on Sept. 19, 2007 (which I DO NOT recommend). I picked it back up to my first two or three cups with caffeine about a week later. It is best to ease the body off the caffiene, I could not p**p for a WEEK. But, it has been a little over six month and I am still mostly caffiene free. But not long after cutting down the caffiene, I started having some strange body changes .... night sweats and hot flashes (wow now that is a new form of insanity!) .... and then I developed a painfull mass in my right breast. Went to the emergency room, an infection, they gave me a high power antibiotic and sent me on my way.
The pain stopped, and the mass seemed to shrink, a little; it never actually went away, I told myself it would just take time.

So, March 26, 2008, I'm back in the emergency room, same breast, larger mass, unbearable pain; emergency surgery. My surgeon told me in his office, that women who don't smoke, don't get these infections. That was pretty cut and dry. So now it is time to stop smoking, and the pressure is on from the family.

I do want to quit, I really do. It costs SO MUCH. I'm tired of the taste of my mouth and the coughing. I'm tired of being distracted by the "need" of a cigarette between breaks at work, or anywhere I go, where I have to stop an go outside to smoke. But I'm scared. That I can't, that I'll go insane, I don't even know what I'm scared of. I can see plusses and plusses and plusses to quitting and no real good reason to hold on to this sh*t, but I sense myself being reluctant or hesitant. What the h*ll is that all about?

I think I'm angry too. Like I guess I feel I've done enough, that's just insane. I don't know, this one's got me very confused!! This one stopped being fun a long time ago, and it's obviously started working against me.
AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I am surely loosing my mind!!

Hi there. I quit smoking February 8th, of this year. I smoked for 35 years. The nicorette gum is the system I used to quit. If you can go cold turkey - I believe that may be best but I too was afraid of the withdrawls. I feel a little stuck on the gum now but I have not picked up a smoke so for me that is incredible. I so understand your comment that you feel as though you have done enough by quitting other things. I live in Chicago and I saw a sign the other day in Walgreens that said a pack was $13.45 - for one pack!!! When I started they were 42 cents a pack. Now I feel OLD by saying that lol. You can do it - hang in there.
Kathie