A sponsorship evaluation - Cyber Recovery Social Network Forums

*dalin* · 04-09-2008, 03:11 AM

I know that sponsorship is a huge responsibility.
I know that I have learned in my recovery to evaluate all my
sponsor-sponsee relationships.
With working with other folks,at least once a year,or any time
things get slow,or our contact slows down,we do a sponsorship
inventory.We look at both sides of things,and look hard at getting
stuck.We examine the whole picture.We check out:

A sponsor is an objective person on the outside looking in. Is what we are doing working?
Sponsors are able to see patterns that emerge and point out problem areas before the person sponsored gets into more trouble.Is your growth right now
acceptable to you?
Sponsors see how much a person has changed and offers encouragement along the way. There’s a 12-Step Program slogan that defines the need for a sponsor, "Other people see you better than you see yourself" Is this relationship moving you along at a rate that helps you or hurts you?
Sponsors generally stress accountability,without shame and guilt.Are you comfortable in your skin?
Sponsors help the people they sponsor stay focused on their recovery.
Sponsorship is a two-way street. It is a relationship built to help the sponsor and the person being sponsored; therefore, people who opt not to choose a sponsor, or later not to sponsor others, are cheating themselves and fellow human beings out of a great opportunity to grow spiritually and emotionally.

The second set of questions is about the honesty and open mindedness
that we need to keep going to keep it real.

I took this from a freind this from a freind,and still use it.

Your Bill of Response-ability as a Sponsor or a Sponsee

I have the right to earn my self esteem.
I have the right not to be shamed.

I have the right to be responsible.

I have the right to be treated with respect.
I have the right to say no and not feel guilty.
I have the right to experience and express my feelings.
I have the right to take time for myself.
I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to ask for information.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I have the right to do less than I am humanly capable of.
I have the right to feel good about myself.
I have the right to act only in ways that promote my dignity and self-respect as long as others are not violated in the process.

I do not have the right to shame others.
I do not have the right to swallow my feelings.
I do not have the right for swallowed feelings to come out sideways on the innocent.

I do expect them to work with me.
What things that we have covered are not working for them?
What things have I done wrong,or at least not to there saticefaction?
What things could I change in my aproach at there recovery could work
better?
I do get my sponsees to communicate with others that have alot
of recovery,so if they want to change sponsors for there own growth
or comfort,because we all see things differantly.
When I take this aproach,and use there feedback,well,it realy works.
Does anyone else have a similar aproach?

*janbear* · 04-09-2008, 08:06 AM

thanks for sharing this dalin

Montauktammy · 04-10-2008, 12:09 PM

Staying Clean on the Outside
This is NA Fellowship-approved literature.
Copyright © 1987, 1988 by
Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
All rights reserved.

"Sponsorship is a vital part of the NA program of recovery. It is one of the main channels through
which newcomers can take advantage of the experience of NA members who are living the
program. Sponsors can combine genuine concern for our well-being and a shared experience of
addiction with solid knowledge of recovery in NA. We have found it works best to find a sponsor
of your own sex. Choose a sponsor, even a temporary sponsor, as soon as possible. A sponsor
helps you work through the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Narcotics Anonymous. A
sponsor can also introduce you to other NA members, take you to meetings, and help you to get
more comfortable in recovery. Our pamphlet, Sponsorship, contains additional information on the
subject.
If we are to receive the benefits of the NA Program, we must work the Twelve Steps. Along
with regular meeting attendance, the steps are basic to our program of recovery from addiction.
We have found that working the steps in order and continuously reworking them keeps us from
relapsing into active addiction and the misery that it brings.
There is a variety of NA recovery literature available. The Little White Booklet and our Basic
Text, Narcotics Anonymous, contain principles of recovery in our fellowship. Familiarize yourself
with the program through our literature. Reading about recovery is a very important part of our
program, especially when a meeting or another NA member might not be available. Many of us
have found that reading NA literature on a daily basis has helped us maintain a positive attitude
and has kept our focus on recovery.
When you begin going to meetings, get involved with the groups you attend. Emptying ashtrays,
helping set up, making coffee, cleaning up after the meeting—all these tasks need to be done for
the group to function. Let people know you are willing to help, and become a part of your group.
Taking on such responsibilities is a necessary part of recovery and helps to counteract the
feelings of alienation that can creep up on us. Such commitments, however small they may
appear, may help ensure attendance at meetings when the desire to attend lags behind the need
to attend.
It is never too early to establish a personal program of daily action. Taking daily action is our
way of taking responsibility for our recovery. Instead of picking up that first drug, we do the
following:
�� Don’t use, no matter what
�� Go to an NA meeting
�� Ask your Higher Power to keep you clean today
�� Call your sponsor
�� Read NA literature
�� Talk to other recovering addicts
�� Work the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous
We’ve discussed some of the things to do to stay clean; we should also discuss some things to
avoid. In NA meetings, we often hear that we must change our old way of living. This means that
we don’t use drugs, no matter what! We have also found that we cannot afford to frequent bars
and clubs or associate with people who use drugs. When we allow ourselves to hang around old
acquaintances and places, we are setting ourselves up for relapse. When it comes to the disease
of addiction, we are powerless. These people and these places never helped us stay clean before.
It would be foolish to think things will be different now.
For an addict, there is no substitute for the fellowship of others actively engaged in recovery. It
is important to give ourselves a break and give our recovery a chance. There are many new
friends waiting for us in Narcotics Anonymous, and a new world of experiences lies ahead.
Some of us had to adjust our expectations of a completely different world once we were
released. Narcotics Anonymous cannot miraculously change the world around us. It does offer us
hope, freedom, and a way to live differently in the world by changing ourselves. We may find some
situations which are no different than before but, through the program of Narcotics Anonymous, we
can change the way we respond to them. Changing ourselves does change our lives.
We want you to know that you are welcome in Narcotics Anonymous. NA has helped
hundreds of thousands of addicts to live clean, to accept life on its own terms, and to develop a
life that is truly worth living."

04-09-2008, 03:11 AM	#1
dalin Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada.One month a year either in Smyrna Ga,or Franklin louisiana Posts: 2,028	A sponsorship evaluation I know that sponsorship is a huge responsibility. I know that I have learned in my recovery to evaluate all my sponsor-sponsee relationships. With working with other folks,at least once a year,or any time things get slow,or our contact slows down,we do a sponsorship inventory.We look at both sides of things,and look hard at getting stuck.We examine the whole picture.We check out: A sponsor is an objective person on the outside looking in. Is what we are doing working? Sponsors are able to see patterns that emerge and point out problem areas before the person sponsored gets into more trouble.Is your growth right now acceptable to you? Sponsors see how much a person has changed and offers encouragement along the way. There’s a 12-Step Program slogan that defines the need for a sponsor, "Other people see you better than you see yourself" Is this relationship moving you along at a rate that helps you or hurts you? Sponsors generally stress accountability,without shame and guilt.Are you comfortable in your skin? Sponsors help the people they sponsor stay focused on their recovery. Sponsorship is a two-way street. It is a relationship built to help the sponsor and the person being sponsored; therefore, people who opt not to choose a sponsor, or later not to sponsor others, are cheating themselves and fellow human beings out of a great opportunity to grow spiritually and emotionally. The second set of questions is about the honesty and open mindedness that we need to keep going to keep it real. I took this from a freind this from a freind,and still use it. Your Bill of Response-ability as a Sponsor or a Sponsee I have the right to earn my self esteem. I have the right not to be shamed. I have the right to be responsible. I have the right to be treated with respect. I have the right to say no and not feel guilty. I have the right to experience and express my feelings. I have the right to take time for myself. I have the right to ask for what I want. I have the right to ask for information. I have the right to make mistakes. I have the right to do less than I am humanly capable of. I have the right to feel good about myself. I have the right to act only in ways that promote my dignity and self-respect as long as others are not violated in the process. I do not have the right to shame others. I do not have the right to swallow my feelings. I do not have the right for swallowed feelings to come out sideways on the innocent. I do expect them to work with me. What things that we have covered are not working for them? What things have I done wrong,or at least not to there saticefaction? What things could I change in my aproach at there recovery could work better? I do get my sponsees to communicate with others that have alot of recovery,so if they want to change sponsors for there own growth or comfort,because we all see things differantly. When I take this aproach,and use there feedback,well,it realy works. Does anyone else have a similar aproach? __________________ If I am not the problem.... then there is no solution...

04-09-2008, 08:06 AM	#2
janbear willing servant Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 14,184	thanks for sharing this dalin __________________ And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man. -Shakespeare For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

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04-10-2008, 12:09 PM	#3
Montauktammy Trusted Servant Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 513	Staying Clean on the Outside This is NA Fellowship-approved literature. Copyright © 1987, 1988 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved. "Sponsorship is a vital part of the NA program of recovery. It is one of the main channels through which newcomers can take advantage of the experience of NA members who are living the program. Sponsors can combine genuine concern for our well-being and a shared experience of addiction with solid knowledge of recovery in NA. We have found it works best to find a sponsor of your own sex. Choose a sponsor, even a temporary sponsor, as soon as possible. A sponsor helps you work through the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Narcotics Anonymous. A sponsor can also introduce you to other NA members, take you to meetings, and help you to get more comfortable in recovery. Our pamphlet, Sponsorship, contains additional information on the subject. If we are to receive the benefits of the NA Program, we must work the Twelve Steps. Along with regular meeting attendance, the steps are basic to our program of recovery from addiction. We have found that working the steps in order and continuously reworking them keeps us from relapsing into active addiction and the misery that it brings. There is a variety of NA recovery literature available. The Little White Booklet and our Basic Text, Narcotics Anonymous, contain principles of recovery in our fellowship. Familiarize yourself with the program through our literature. Reading about recovery is a very important part of our program, especially when a meeting or another NA member might not be available. Many of us have found that reading NA literature on a daily basis has helped us maintain a positive attitude and has kept our focus on recovery. When you begin going to meetings, get involved with the groups you attend. Emptying ashtrays, helping set up, making coffee, cleaning up after the meeting—all these tasks need to be done for the group to function. Let people know you are willing to help, and become a part of your group. Taking on such responsibilities is a necessary part of recovery and helps to counteract the feelings of alienation that can creep up on us. Such commitments, however small they may appear, may help ensure attendance at meetings when the desire to attend lags behind the need to attend. It is never too early to establish a personal program of daily action. Taking daily action is our way of taking responsibility for our recovery. Instead of picking up that first drug, we do the following: �� Don’t use, no matter what �� Go to an NA meeting �� Ask your Higher Power to keep you clean today �� Call your sponsor �� Read NA literature �� Talk to other recovering addicts �� Work the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous We’ve discussed some of the things to do to stay clean; we should also discuss some things to avoid. In NA meetings, we often hear that we must change our old way of living. This means that we don’t use drugs, no matter what! We have also found that we cannot afford to frequent bars and clubs or associate with people who use drugs. When we allow ourselves to hang around old acquaintances and places, we are setting ourselves up for relapse. When it comes to the disease of addiction, we are powerless. These people and these places never helped us stay clean before. It would be foolish to think things will be different now. For an addict, there is no substitute for the fellowship of others actively engaged in recovery. It is important to give ourselves a break and give our recovery a chance. There are many new friends waiting for us in Narcotics Anonymous, and a new world of experiences lies ahead. Some of us had to adjust our expectations of a completely different world once we were released. Narcotics Anonymous cannot miraculously change the world around us. It does offer us hope, freedom, and a way to live differently in the world by changing ourselves. We may find some situations which are no different than before but, through the program of Narcotics Anonymous, we can change the way we respond to them. Changing ourselves does change our lives. We want you to know that you are welcome in Narcotics Anonymous. NA has helped hundreds of thousands of addicts to live clean, to accept life on its own terms, and to develop a life that is truly worth living."