Didn't know if there was a God, wouldn't like Him if there was...

[Charlie G]

I lost my daughter, Joy at three years of age. She spent 9 months in a vegetative state after getting her head caught in the footrest of her grandfather's recliner chair.
This was in June of 1985. My first day without a drink or drugs was in May of 2006.
After Joy died, I didn't believe in God, and hated him if He was real.
After finally giving up, getting a sponsor, and working the steps,
I met God.
Nice guy.
I wrote the poem below. It was definitely a God shot (Better than any shot of liquor ever was!).
peace


"I AM"
by charlie g

What comes out from my hand, is what's inside of my head;
Because then it's over, forgotten, I've put it to bed.
But some things don't stay in bed, they've been pushed in so deep;
They won't come out of your head, they will not go to sleep.
Mine started with fireworks, and the crowd they went wild;
With the birth of Joy, my beautiful child.
From the first time I held her, she then owned my heart;
And I thought, 'This is forever, we will never part'.
But life is a *****, it will throw you for loops;
Though you do the right thing, you jump through the hoops.
Joy made it pass infant, was just into 'tot';
God, 3 years old, you didn't give me alot..
Please take me instead! I made all kinds of deals;
But I never was heard, in God's court of appeals
I thought' 'This happened to me?! It was all just a ploy?;
To get me to love, then POOF, there's no Joy?.
And not just to lose her, but in a recliner chair?
How could you do that? How could you dare?
Then came the pain. The anger, and hate;
Who is this God? That we think He's so great?
I don't know who You are, and I don't give a ****!;
I was screaming at Heaven, when He said just, "I AM."
I needed more from that voice, looking for where it came from;
Now down on my knees begging.. just like a bum.
When He spoke to me again, it was straight to my heart;
"Joy may not be with you, but your never apart."
He said "You'll see her again. One day. It's so soon;
Till then she's watching, from the stars & the moon.
Now listen to Me, this will help you to mourn;
"Joy picked YOU as her father, before she was born".
"She's done her job, and now it's your turn;
"Your going to help people, from your pain they will learn."
"They'll come angry and hurt, with no idea, 'what to do'";
"Because you've been there, you'll help them. You'll guide them through."
"And one final thing, call it a hint, or a clue,"
"By helping out them, you'll be helping out you!"
So when things happen, don't wonder, "How can this be?"
"Just know it's to get you to where I need you to be."
Have faith! Trust in Me. Believe that " I AM."
"And I'll show you glimpses of you, in my Heavenly plan."
Then He parted the curtains, and allowed me to see;
Why I lost Joy to a chair, and He allowed it to be.
I met a woman one day, while talking to groups;
About why things happen to us, though we jump through the hoops.
She 'just' happened to be there, the same day as me;
And now she knew who to thank, and I was set free.
She had a little sister, named Joy, who'd been caught in a chair!
But hers got out safely, because of something put there.
You see recliners aren't the same as once they had been;
They were changed after Joy, so that wouldn't happen again.
And at that moment I knew it, my path had been paved;
How cool is it knowing a Joy, that your Joy has saved?
peace

[thereishope]

Wow THANK YOU that was BEAUTIFUL,and i am sorry to hear about your daughter.
GOD BLESS YOU CHARLIE, you are a beautiful writer and i love your poems

[allaflutter]

Thank You Charlie. That is truly beautiful and very apparent that it came from your heart.

I am grateful you are on this journey with us.