Old Age

[janbear]

Old Age
The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.
I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing
my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that
it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life,
the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime
despair over my body-- the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, skin spots and
bumps, the sagging butt,etc. And often I am taken aback by that old
person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for
long. It's God's plan for us.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving
family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more
kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my
bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks
so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be
extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon;
before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 AM, and sleep until
noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's,
and if I at the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will. I will walk
the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will
dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying
glances from the bikini set. Oh yes.. they, too, will get old.

I know I am often forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well
forgotten -- and I eventually remember most of the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart
not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even
when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give
us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken
is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray,
and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves
on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died
before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no," and mean it. I can
say "yes," and mean it. As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself
anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I
like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but
while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have
been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every
single day !

Author Unknown