Weekly meeting 4/29 to next time

[sioux]

Good morning fellow travelers! This week's topic is going to be independence.

From the book on page 98 "Job or no job-wife or no wife-we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on G-d."

I don't hear it much, but we used to say "I don't get to hold my loved ones hostage today."

I have spent a lifetime searching for someone or something to relieve me of my loneliness and despair. A new drink, a fancy bottle, a pub with good cheer, a boyfriend of good character that truly understands me, a job I could call a career, snow skiing in the summer.

I pursued these things with wreckless abandon. Eventually all these people, places and things abandoned me.

And I cried to my Creator to save me from these awful people, places, things and to give me more of what I craved. There was never enough time, money, booze. I exhausted everyone to the point that they had no choice but to walk away.

A solid Fourth Step revealed these resentments to me were of my own making. Hard to accept at first, but very freeing to have some insights into my personality and what I could do differently. Thanks to a Fifth Step I could feel a part of the world instead of the only world. An end to isolation and the ability to join in the human race. My problems were not unique.

First the trust issues had to be addressed. I needed to become trustworthy. Instead of crying over my intentions, I needed to take a look at my actions and change. It would be hard, and I would fail and have to make a new start over and over. Thank you Seventh Step for introducing me to my real Creator...the one that would forgive me for humbling asking, but insist I try, try again.

The people in my life today are blessings. I am lucky to have them, and I do not get to abuse them, control them, dictate to them, take credit for their good or bad behavior. I do not get to blame them for my peace of mind or lack thereof.

I also do not get to depend on them for my happiness. I do not get to live a life of contingencies today unless I plan on drinking again.

My Creator is where I put my dependence, and when the time is right to do those things for myself that I could not do previously, I get to take the reins and drive my team fast or slow...with caution or over the age. See, I am not perfect. But I get to practice. Lots of practice.

My Creator has deemed it so.

[sioux]

Hey ya'll...although you are kind and courteous audience, this is not a speaker meeting!

How are you living with the paradox of independence through dependence on your Creator? I hate when the chair talks inbetween shares...but come on folks, I need to know! You may say something that changes my perspective.

[barbie25]

Ok for me my Creator has shown me independence because he showed me i dont need to be depend on drinking to get me throw the day. He gets me throw the day now. i am so happy becaoming you i should be and i know it is because of him and the wonderful program of aa. that is my independence.

[admin]

Sorry Sioux - between doing upgrades and then my phone service was out yesterday afternoon/evening/night/this morning and finally got phone service back after lunch today so was able to finally get back online. I have hardly had time to catch my breath here. Then my kids are out fo school tomorrow. So anywhos back to the topic:

How are you living with the paradox of independence through dependence on your Creator?

It's freedom! It's comfort! It's peace! It's serenity! It's wonderful to be loved unconditionally. I remember when I came to know that if I were to lose everything I would be ok because I have God in my life and I would survive with His help. God is my everything, my all. With Him all things are possible.

Thanks for the topic.

[clean42day]

How are you living with the paradox of independence through dependence on your Creator?

the way I look at it is: I have a healthy dependence on my creator and no longer depend on the wrong things (people, places, and things) to validate my belief systems, my self-esteem, my personhood, or my spirituality.
I am certainly inter-dependent in my relationships with people and that means power is shared and it flows freely and equally back and forth along with the emotional responsibiltiy to maintain my end of the healthy balance. But to be co-dependent or contra-dependent is no longer healthy for me.

To become dependent on God placed the personal freedom of indepdendent responsible choice back in my life - for my emotions, my happiness, and my joy, as well as being responsible for healing through my own pain and finding ways to solve my own problems.

most of my unhealthy dependence was based in some form of fear.

here is a reading that helped me tremendously............

I am now receptive to the idea that....there are some things that I can live without!

Anything you need, must have, or can't do without has dominion over you and your life. In other words, you are a slave of sorts. We're not talking here about food, clothing and shelter! We are talking about anything or anyone from your mother to your job that you feel you must have must help or cannot walk away from for one reason or another. We are talking about the gamut from food to sex, people to pets, shoes to butter on both sides of your bread. If God didn't put it in you, but you believe you cannot live without it, you are in a lot of trouble!
All too often, we turn out lives over to things and people, believing that they are essential to our survival. How does this happen? How do we become enslaved? Why does this happen? Why do we turn our lives and our power over to things and people? Well, it's a trick? It is a trick of fear! Fear will do anything, use anyone, to throw you off track, keep you off base, and move you in the wrong direction. Fear is very well aware that as long as you believe there is something you cannot do without, you have an excuse not to do the things you must. Fear also knows that as long as you have an excuse for not doing something, fear has something to do! Fear will keep you running, and it will keep you in hiding? Fear will keep you hoping, wishing and trying! Fear will tie you down, beat you up, and leave you gasping for air! Fear is the master trickster! It will make you responsible to others ! It will make you responsible for others! Fear is the very thing that prevents you from letting go of everything and everyone else.
Until today, you may not have been aware of all of the things and people you hold on to in response to fear. Just for today, accept that you are afraid to let go! Make a list of all the things you believe you need. Read the list carefully and identify all the excuses you give yourself for holding on. Then, mentally and emotionally – LET GO.

TODAY I AM DEVOTED TO ELIMINATING ALL FEAR-BASED REASONS, EXCUSES, AND HABITS!

For me becoming dependent on my creator required that I start removing layers of false dependence that gave me the illusion of "feeling" whole. <those old things were fleeting and never lasted......my spiritual connection with God is the only thing I have found that is lasting and healthy and makes me feel complete.

light and love

Gail

The book says the God is everything or He is nothing….So effectively when I got sober He told me to take up my bed and walk….I was no longer crippled by dependence on alcohol…and as long as I keep walking and trusting for guidance life is pretty good….Knowing that I am not responsible for the outcome is the freedom I receive in my dependency on my HP.

[janbear]

The AA book talks about dependence on God is independence. Took me a long time in recovery to experience what that is like. I can't honestly say i am 100% dependent on God 24/7. But that is what i strive for on a daily basis. And when i am truly dependent on God alone that is when i experience "happy, joyous and free" Thanks for letting me share.