Discouragement

[janbear]

Discouragement

What is this self inside us, this silent observer, severe & speechless critic, who can terrorize us?
—T. S. Elliot


Shame is a powerful barrier to positive self-esteem. However undeserved, it is shame that constantly scolds that we are not doing enough or well enough. It is shame that says we are not as far along as we should be. And when our hearts & souls are harassed by shame, we find it difficult to make any progress on the spiritual walk that building self-esteem is. Or at least we have a hard time recognizing that we are making any progress.

This negative inner talk is all subjective, of course. That’s why it helps to set absolute, objective measuring points against which we can measure success. There is no arguing with objective goals; they’re either met or they’re not met. Are we having more positive days than before? Have we given our significant other more hugs, of both the verbal & physical kind? Are we in fact trying new things? Have we in fact resisted some compulsion or said that word we found so hard to say? If so, we are on our way.

All of these & dozens of similar behaviors are objective measuring points against which progress can be verified. Acknowledging progress points not only feels good but it’s good for us. In the face of documented success, shame tends to back off.

Undeserved shame flies from the light of objectivity

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