CHANGE ~

[janbear]

CHANGE ~

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To keep our faces toward change and behave like free
spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.

Helen Keller

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As far back as I can remember, I have
always been fearful of change. I preferred
to stay in my comfort zone, even when it
became uncomfortable or painful. I
suppose that was why I stayed in the
disease for so long; it was what I knew.
It was safe and predictable and I didn't
have to deal with painful emotions such
as loss and rejection. This was also why
I stayed so long in a bad marriage; I was
terrified of what was outside the walls of
my dysfunctional relationship. In truth, I
didn't really live, because fear of change
prevented me from forming new
relationships and doing new and exciting
things. Even the move from one city to
another was totally traumatic, because
the old and familiar was what I knew, not
because it was better. Even then, I spent
so long looking at the closed door behind
me that I failed to see the open door in
front of me.

I know now that even when I fear change,
I need only put one foot in front of the other,
and do what is before me. Because I now
have faith that my Higher Power will be with
me every step of the way, I need only ask
for help, and the help comes. Even though
it still is not easy, I am aware of how many
changes I have been able to make with the
help of my Higher Power. In the past, I spent
so much time obsessing about the outcome
that I talked myself out of the change I was
thinking of making. The biggest change that
has happened for me is my newfound faith
which enables me to take that leap into the
unknown.

There have been other miraculous changes
too. Now I have a more open and honest
relationship with my children and others
because I am able to take more risks and
set boundaries, which I had never been able
to do before. I have changed careers,
undertaken flying overseas on my own, and
in general am not the scared person I used
to be. I also have a whole new family of
wonderful friends in this fellowship who
understand me and love me always.

ONE DAY AT A TIME ...
I continue to grow and change as God wills
me to do, and I will not be afraid because I
know that He will always be there to guide
and help me.