sponsorship------8/25/08

[rebosman_99]

S-Sober
P-person
O-offering
N-newcomer
S-suggestions
O-on
R-recovery


Upon first coming into the program I was told to get
a sponsor to help show me the way. That to me was totally
obsurd. How can anyone tell me how to live life better than
me. I mean really, just look at what life gave me and I have
managed to live through it and get to the otherside.
However I took the suggestion. I took it because of two
reasons which an oldtimer had brought to my attention.

First..... Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness
Page 48 big book

He said this is where alcohol has brought me and allowed
me to see that my way didn't work. And, yes, I was beaten
into a reasonableness that lead me to being open to new
ideas. And sponsorship is a spiritual matter when the right
sponsor is involved!!!!!!

Second.... There is a principle which is a bar against all information.
Which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep
a man in everlasting ignorance------
that principle is, " Contempt prior to investigation"!
B.B. page 568

My first reply was "did he just call me ignorant"? But upon
examining the statement I knew he was right. I had been
doing things all my life myway. It was time to take suggestions
and try something new. Time for investigation, not contempt.
Since then I have had several different sponsors. I learned
That some sponsors are good at helping people stay sober
and others are better at working the steps.
When I was first asked to put up a topic I really wanted to
write about the 13th step sponsor. A 13th step sponsor is
not always about sex. It is about a person using the fundamentals
of the program to better themselves. They grab the vulnerability
of a newcomer and use them in area's of money, property, prestige
and ego inflation. The reason I am writing this is, I just got out of
a relationship with a sponsor and found that he really did not care
for my well being. He found out my working abilities and asked if I
would help him on a job. Being in the need of a new sponsor I agreed.
I was not paid for my services. However he made great money.
Later I found out he does this to all new people who are vulnerable
to his manipulation's. Being new to Oneonta New York I was in a
vulnerable place of mind. A lesson well learned for me....

Would like to hear other stories of experiences with sponsorships.

Thank you for reading
SAM

[dalin]

Hello my knew freind.
I know that I have truly worked hard at working a sponsor centered program.
My sponsor is one of those guys that truly got to work with me on my program.
Every sponsor has there own way of working the steps,and I have learned
alot from each one.Each one had the wisdom to get me to see that I
was the constant in every situations.
Some were involved in writting of our Basic Text,and lots of NA literature.

I know that God builds sponsors,and that everyone that sponsored me teach
me some tricks,there style of sponsorship.
I try to practice them,as well as a few others.
The biggest thing I know from my own experience,is that shame and guit
are not tools to work with.
Those are our character defects,not theres.
I sponsor guys where NA is a new program,so I try my best when I call them
I ask God to direct the conversation.

My sponsor works thru the big guy.
Our sponsorshipsection always needs help if anyone wants to help.
So if my knew freind wants,we could get some service work out of you,
I could use some help.
Spirituality is huge,so who my God is is not there business,and there God
is not my buisness.When I keep the program that way,
we can focus on using spiritual principles that all paths to God
have in common.Sponsorship is not a licens for me to convert folks.

[janbear]

The biggest thing my sponsors have taught me is how to not only work the steps but live the steps, the spiritual principles in each one. My thinking was skewed in my addiction and i certainly didnt come into recovery with a clear mind. I needed help and it took me a long to allow a sponsor to honestly work with me. I was very closeminded but getting better.
I got a new sponsor a few months ago after i lost my last one to brain cancer in January. I had just begun to start the steps over again, after seeing a need to do that. My new NA sponsor asked me what step i was on, and i told her and she said, "Good, because that is where i want you" So we were on "the same page" since day one. She helps me see where i have a part in each situation in my life. She is guide for me. Thank you for allowing me to share.

[Craig A.]

For me a sponsor helps me stay accountable to my actions. In the beginning he was my guide in the steps and for the 4th & 8th steps especially, shown me a new way of living. Today as I have learned people sponsor each other after they have gone through the 12 steps, if I keep going to my sponsor for help as if I was a hopeless person well then there would be something missing in my program. Once I went through the 12 steps I saw who I was and able to begin the process of recovery. I have 6 years so I'm not talking about anybody new, it was suggested to me in my first year not to change anything and talk to my sponsor about anything that had to be changed. Sponsoring people is very interesting it teaches me how not to be so co-dependent and controlling, which is hard ( do as I say meeting everyday or whatever that person did himself/herself ). Sponsors carry the message not the alcoholic and does not turn into a mother or father but sometimes that happens.

[admin]

My very first sponsor, God bless him, was someone I knew online. I put that man through the ringer. There were a quite a few times he wished we could see each other face to face just so he could kick my behind. LOL I'll never forget him. He never gave up on me and he showed me a alot of love, tolerance and patience.

My last sponsor was a Godsend to me literally. I had asked her sponsor to sponsor me but she couldn't but said she knew someone who might could. When I hung up I said, "God it's in your hands." Well, this lady agreed to sponsor me. I had never seen her before - knew nothing about her. We met in January 1999 and she is still my sponsor today. She has shown me lots of love, patience and tolerance also. Whenever I went out, she always welcomed me back when I came back. She never gave up on me. She had what I wanted and has given me what I needed. I know when I call her to have my pen and paper ready to take notes. Everyone who has ever seen this lady always shares this same thing - there is a light surrounding her. Seriously there is. She and I share the same spiritual beliefs. As well as being my sponsor in recovery she is also my spiritual guide. I am blessed and grateful that God put her in my life.

For anyone out there, if you don't have a sponsor yet, get one and use them. You don't have to do it alone anymore. We are here for you. We care.