Valuable Lessons 9/22

[thereishope]

Hello everyone & Good morning,

I feel blessed to be able to do the weekly meeting this week, so i have been praying on what to talk about and it came to me to talk about one of the valuable lessons i have learned and am learning how to deal with.

Its on being defensive because in my active addiction that was a big downfall for me. Someone would say something to me and i would retaliate with my reasonings and pleading my case my way without reguard of anyones feelings. I would get so defensive that i would want to either rip your head off or mow you down like a line backer
Either i didnt want to hear it cause it was true or i got really defensive to cover my lies
Well after i began my road of recovery and not quite willing to accept the hard truth of the pain and heartache i caused it got even worse and i just wouldn't want to listen to anyone period and still plead my case MY WAY

Well through recovery and steps i learned the reasons i was that way and one of the best things i have learned is to listen with love and really hear my loved ones when they are trying to talk to me....i mean REALLY LISTEN and i didn't have to automatically plead my case for rebuttal. When this begin to happen i began to realize that i was really changing from deep inside and i was beginning to WANT to dig deeper and i wasn't afraid anymore.

Now here it is a little over 5yrs later and im still learning things in that one particular area. Reguardless of the awesome progress i have made and made amends there are still those others that will just want to rip all over you just because they can and now i can actually hold my tounge and not fly off the handle and just accept that thats the way they are gonna feel no matter what you say or do and thats ok with me today

It has also helped me to recoginize it in my sponcees and others without judgement but to understand because i was there also and it helps to be able to be a better listener. If they are on the defensive with me i have learned how to have much more patience with them and my attitude. If they are not ready to hear what i have to say and they are on the defensive thats ok cause one day they will be and ill be right here for them just the same and with a loving and caring heart.

These are a few of the things i have learned on just this one thing alone and i am so very thankful for them and the awesome changes that recovery has given me and i am also very thankful for others that have been very patient with me as i grow. I am extremly grateful for all of you and the beautiful spirits that GOD has bestowed upon my life.

Thankyou for letting me share and i wish everyone a very blessed happy 24

[rebosman_99]

When I first came into recovery and got my first sponsor he told me "Sam, you need to be careful of your defense mechanism's. They will cause you to defend your disease". I don't think I quite understood what he was trying to say so my first reply to him was yeah,but. He stopped me right there and said I needed to take yeah but out of my vocabulary. Every time I say yeah but I was taking my will back, closing my ears and getting ready to say things from a my way point of view. He also said everything after "but" is bull****.
I started paying attention to how often I really did use yeah but. I realized it was about me not humbleing my self and listening to the message. Instead it was always about me wanting things my way.
Today I spend alot of time working on my defense mechanisms or defects of character. And even though I have labeled each one I still find myself allowing them to take over my thinking and actions. Usually when I am in a vulnerable state of mind. Constant vigilance is what the program taught me in order to fight off the need to take my will back and let my chacter defects run my life.
Today I am so grateful I have a loving God in my life that I can turn my will over to, just for today.........
sam

[Chance]

I have a lot of valuable lessons the only problem with me is that I forget them when I should be applying the Principles to myself and my Program.

One lesson that was very valuable for me and I haven't had to repeat it for almost 2 1/2 years was to find someone else to have into my life. (relationship)

I always thought that finding someone would be able to fix Vic and than all would be wonderful and well. My relapses are usually when Vic isn't cofortable with himself and needs to seek outside sources (women) to help him feel ok with himself which is just plain BS.

Even though I know this...I still have issues remembering it when I find myself in trouble.

Well anyways that is just me and today I am happy that I am not in that frame of mind. LOL

[grateful4]

Being defensive for me is a matter of letting my old character defect of fear creep back into my life. I am defensive because I am afraid of letting my true self be expressed through God's will for me today. Each morning, I completely turn my life over to God's care and guidance, and when I do, and live my life as my High Power wishes me to, life is so much more enjoyable and serene. As I learn to live through my High Power's direction for me, I am coming to fear less and less. I need always remember that as long as I do not pick up a drink or a drug today, I am a miracle unfolding, able to serve God and the 12 step programs as best that I can. I can only keep what I have been so graciously given by giving it away with no thought of return.

Have a GREAT DAY Everyone !!!!