The Holidays! November 1-7

[Faith92208]

Being that this is my first sober season in a while, I'd like to learn from all of you what has helped you to remain sober during a very social season. I have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving and Christmas coming and would like to learn what keeps you sober during the various holidays.

Thanks!
Faith

[little one]

I can definately relate to having a hard time during the family season. The only thing I know is that, because I have a little one it is important for him to have a functioning mom. However, we don't get to go over to grandma's or any basic traditions like that. I was thinking it may be a good idea to start a tradition. Something that we can do every year, volunteer work, maybe even try to attend some groups and church, though I have to work sundays... every sunday. Finding something that will work for us, for me, something that is positive. I too need help and some ideas. I think this is a good thread.

[zoomie]

Bry and I sometimes go to AA fuctions during the holidays. They run 24 hours during each holiday so we can go any time day or night to keep in contact with our AA family. Other than that we try to keep the focus on the kids now days instead of the drink. It's hard sometimes,but worth it!

[letgo]

If you feel tempted or scared phone your sponsor or your AA friends. Rehearse saying NO if people badger you to drink. You can always say you are driving. Many people don't drink at functions for this reason alone. Also for Christmas, I always check food labels very carefully; Christmas cakes, puddings, mince pies, chocolates etc can be full of alcohol.

[admin]

Some great suggestions made. Remember a holiday is just another day, another 24 hours. That has always helped me. We have some good stuff here that has helpful posts for the holidays or anyday http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/...ead.php?t=6956 . In fact, I have added this thread to it.

[yukonm]

Last year was the first holiday season I experienced sober. I don't have any blood relatives and luckily was invited to celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas with friends in the fellowship as well as at the homes of members of the congregation I attend. Last year I chose to celebrate with my AA friends and had a wonderful and sober holiday season.

[rebosman_99]

This is one topic that always finds me even when I am not wanting to deal with it yet. However my Higher Power see's it different.
What I do for my holiday's is what I call the "borrowing factor". I went through a real ugly break up in 2004. My daughter, 6 at the time, was used as a tool to hurt me. My ex put alot of counselors and psychiatrist's on her side and they helped convince the judge to not allow me visitation. Right now I have just started a whole new process in a different judicial district of my choosing to try to overcome this situation. Sorry, was getting off track.
Anyway for the past few years this is the time I would get real fidgety and depressed. My sponsor came up with an idea. He said I should try getting involved in others lives on a more personal level. Buy gift's for friend's kids, and start sharing in there joy. So I tried this. What I found was something I never thought possible.
By giving to other's without any expectation's I recieved a self-worth that was out of this world. I found my whole attitude on this season changed, and I found that just because thing's are the way they are now it doesn't mean it will always be that way.
Since that first year alone I have made it a point to go to my friend's houses and interact with all the member's of the family. This does not take away from the pain I endure from the loss of seeing Christine, however it does give me hope and a faith that allows me to continue through life, one day, one moment, one second at a time.
So as Little One said, it was time for me to start a new tradition that works for me....

Happy Holidays
SAM

[annalittlebit]

Thanks Sam----

[Dreamboat Annie]

*Go to a meeting before the event if possible.
* Go as late as possilbe - leave when you need to.
* if you have a soda or whatever MARK YOUR DRINK somehow and pour you own.
* go for a pee and a prayer in the washroom ( when ever)
* thank God you have a program and be aware "they don't"
* Family - the final Frontier ;-D

blessings
Annie
and remember it's just another 24 hours

[sioux]

It's a time to pick and chose wisely. Where I go, the energy I spend, the ability to enjoy a little solitude vs. isolation. I don't have to be alone unless I chose this for myself. Balance is key here. Isolation is part of my alcoholism.

I know what my triggers are because I sat down with self, Creator and sponsor and identified them. Crowds are not for me. Nor is fighting heavy traffic or retailing.

The truth about careers/jobs and holiday parties is that no one really notices if you were there or not in the end. My career never depended on my attendance at these events. That was just another perception that I no longer had to buy into. Brief parties at work usually involved a hi, happy holidays everyone, a nosh, and back to work or off to do whatever if work was cancelled the rest of the day.

That first year was spent on realigning my actions and my belief system. I have stuck with it all these years later because I feel I am being true to my ideals of what I want to do. I get to decide that because of sobriety. I now have holidays that are enjoyable. I remember to take walks and pray today. If I can't get out because of the weather I take notice of the beauty this time of year offers...changing trees, squirles readying for colder months, a cozy fireside chat with a loved one. Corny? Yes, definately.

I can decline offers, limit my stay, but always, always, always....
I take my own vehicle.
I have back up plans that may include Plans, B, C, and D
I remember to eat regularly
I try to rest when I can and forgo the hustle, bustle stuff
I tune in to more meetings
I stay dialed in to sponsor/sponsees
I pray
I avoid people, places and things that are no condusive to my recovery or are too stressful for me, like retailing. I don't do it.
I set a reasonable budget...gifts, when we exchange them are books, handmade items, foods. Some years are better than others...oh well. The great cell phone my daughter demanded last year is garbage this year. Not my deal.
I stay aware of what kind of spiritual ground I am walking on
I make time for a movie or sharing a meal if I can, and enjoy every minute of it.
I keep it simple
I make alone time for me to take a bath, read, whatever I want to do without guilt or pressure
I leave before "it" starts without taking a resentment with me

And I try to remember that giving rather than getting is our guiding principle. I am not setting myself up for resents that follow unreasonable expectations.

These are things that have worked for me over the years, and I have had successful "family seasons" as someone so appropriately described them.